After going to boarding school, my 12-year daughter is changed completely. Whenever she comes to home in holidays, she stays in her room only and never comes out. She eats in her room, watches movies in her room. What should I do?

Your Daughter is undoubtedly depressed. You sent her away to a boarding school, at a time in her life when she may well be going through a lot of physical and emotional changes (girls start puberty far younger than you may expect these days). Then you expect her to welcome you with open arms?? You are a stranger to her I suspect.

Why did you send her away in the first place? Because you thought she'd get a better education? But what about her emotional needs? My Father was sent to a military boarding school - the best in the Country academically speaking (The Duke of York, to which Prince Harry is now Patron). It was also a place where bullying and abuse was absolutely rife, by both pupils and teachers. My Father hated it. Even in 2017, the academy was accused by both parents and pupils for ignoring claims of bullying, abuse, and sexual assault. Some of which had led to pulls being hospitalised. I begin to cannot imagine what it was like 50 years ago. Sadly, my Father turned into an abusive and extremely violent alcoholic, and a sociopath. I have no doubt his being sent to boarding school (particularly a military one) and the rejection he felt from his Mother had a devastating to impact on his Mental Wellbeing. Do you really have any idea what life is like for her at her school? Do you know who her friends are, does she even have any? What about her friends back home. Does she still have regular contact with them?

Try and sit with your Daughter and ask her how she feels about being at boarding school. And most importantly, given the choice, would she rather be there, or at home with her Mother and attend a day school.


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