Being an unattractive person, will I ever find love?
Have you ever met an unattractive married couple? Of course you have! Most people are average, and some are downright ugly. Yet they are married, and living a satisfactory life. Don't let the Disney. ..Hollywood... Bollywood media fool you into thinking you have to be beautiful to be mated, or happy. Most of us schlubs got married to a equally average looking person, and we're fine. Reproducing, and all that. The human race has not thrived based only on Venus and Adonis getting it on. It thrived due to the ancestors of Newton, Galileo, Darwin, Einstein, Gates, Jobs, and many other brilliant people, many of whom were not great looking. Then, most of the reason we have a comfortable life here in the west is the millions of average looking men and women who have toiled in farms, factories, mines, fisheries, military and civil service, service industries and homes to make our countries what they are. So, please do not rank you self on the beauty scale. You are a unique, creative, working, volunteering individual who will work, contribute and find your life partner. Hint ... even if your job isn't something you're passionate about, volunteer in an area of life you care about. You will make new friends and who knows, might find your life partner there. But, just do good things for humanity in the area where your personal gifts...skills...relationships... insights can make a contribution. Concentrate on that.
My first husband was the singer Tiny Tim, who was considered by many to be a prodigy of ugliness, a bizarre and almost monstrous person. People were actually afraid of him, for some reason, possibly because he had some resemblance to the wicked witch of the west in The Wizard of Oz. Nobody thought he could make it in show business because of his looks and also his strange personality. He was an autistic savant, and knew thousands of vintage songs from the late eighteen hundreds and the early part of the last century.
However, his greatest strength was his outgoing, happy, optimistic attitude, and his true passion for outmoded and amusing popular tunes that dated from the youth of his parents, who were two generations older than he was. He also had a great ability to laugh at himself, and a dogged belief that one day he would be a big star, and he would cause women to "faint in the aisles."
For many years, there wasn't one human being on earth who shared his belief that this would happen. When he was hired, it was usually as a joke. Even when he made it in the big time, it was because people thought he was outlandish and ridiculous, but they were also fascinated by him. His eccentricities were discussed endlessly in the press.
Then something strange happened. For some reason, women and young girls began to think he was cute. I, for one, saw him for the first time on TV when I was twelve, and he was thirty seven. I immediately said to myself, "That is the man I want to marry." However, hundreds of thousands of other young girls were saying the same thing! I had a little shrine to him in my room, and fans have shown me almost identical shrines they had in their rooms when they were young, with all the same pictures and clippings that I had.
At the height of his fame, women approached him everywhere he went. His first wife was a top model with a big agency in New York, and his second wife looked like a movie star. I think he only married me because he was old and couldn't attract the A list girls he had been with in his prime. I also was an agreeable, adoring wife, and that counted for a lot as he was not in good health at that time. He used to say, "You are plain, but beautiful." However, to me, he was the archetype of my type. All my life I was attracted to men who looked like him, or had some similarity to him in personality or interests.
However, there was one archetype before him, and that was my father. Every little girl loves her Dad, if he is kind to her, and I was no exception. Even my present husband resembles my Dad, not in the general impression, but in details such as the color of his skin and hair, his bushy eyebrows, convex nose, and capable hands. Even the softness of his voice...is just magic to me.
Little kids are kind of like ducklings when they hatch out of their eggs. Whatever they see first when they emerge becomes imprinted on their minds. They identify what they first see as their mother, even if it is the wrong kind of bird, or a cat, or a human being. Similarly, there are a lot of people out there who are imprinted with the image of some person who was important to them as a child, someone they bonded with, and that is not always their birth parent. I know a white woman who only likes black guys because of the kindness she experienced from a wonderful man she knew as a child.
My mother told me once, that "whatever you are, someone is looking for that." The one exception, though, is that very few people are looking for someone who is depressed, though men get away with that more often than women. The reason why my first husband was attractive to so many people was the friendly, easy going, and absolutely buoyant good cheer that he exuded.
If there is one thing that makes a plain person magnetically attractive, it is optimism, friendliness and a positive attitude towards life. Learn to enjoy simple things, be grateful for everything, and cultivate your interests and enthusiasms. Happiness is contagious, and addictive.
First of all stop saying you are unattractive , everyone is beautiful . Learn to love yourself first then others . Don't tell me when you look in the mirror you don't feel like a body builder or handsome ^_^ . Let me tell you something about me , I'm only 19 and I've started to lose hair but that doesn't mean I'm unattractive . Every time I look in the mirror I think I'm handsome and blessed to have all the things in life . Many don't get even the basic things , so love yourself and when the time is right you will meet the right person . Till then live and work hard for your dear ones .
Keep smiling :-)
There is no universal standard for beauty, it is always a subjective conclusion. How did you figure that? Were you thinking of physical beauty only i.e. the packaging of your soul or personality. And you measured it against what? Every human is a unique and incomparable creation of God, beautiful in its own way. Learn everything about yourself and you just concentrate on being the best you can be. External validation of our feeling and ideas is good but it isn't the only thing. Once I knew some one with very dark complexion, grotesque features and and pock marked face. I notice when I met him for the first time, once I got to know him I never saw features again. Every one of deserves to be loved, love isn't a luxury it is a necessity. To be loved be lovable and it will find you.
I'm not going to lie to you; it is less likely. You would either have to become somebody you were not or try to settle for somebody you did not love.
In saying that, love does not truly exist. It is only the way we feel when others have met our expectations. If nobody loves you, that doesn't mean you are a bad or defective person; it just means you couldn't meet all the expectations. It doesn't mean meeting the expectations was truly important to survival, and it doesn't mean every expectation should be met. It only means you didn't meet expectations - but so what?