Can people really go from hating someone to loving them?

When I dislike someone, I usually tend to forget about them, but until now this was the only one I couldn't get rid off my head.

He was my classmate who was also a housemate. We were in a language school abroad and we were both from a different nationality, so basically we didn't talk in the same language. We met every day, day and night, at school, after school, at home, before sleep. And it was so annoying at that time to see his face all around me, even on weekends.

Our language skill was limited at that time, we all made efforts to speak and to learn from each other. But I'd never seen him making any effort at all, and that made him look so arrogant because it seemed that he didn't want to talk with people from different countries.

Whenever I was around my group of friends, who were friends of his nationality, he would come over to join us and did the very one thing I hated from him: talking in his language. And yes, they shifted the conversation to their language, quickly removing me from the scene, and I stood there, blankly, when they proceed to have "fun" talking.

It had been happening for so many times, and after a ton of laughs I couldn't understand, I came to the conclusion that: this was because of him + he erased my existence in a second = he excluded me from my own circle.

I couldn't help myself to hate him more:

I would talk about him with my close friend, made fun of anything about him. I would rant in my room after another unpleasing day involving his insensitive remarks. I could remember how often I went to sleep still thinking of his annoying traits and things he said which I hated so much. I even claimed a lot of times, "I hate hate this guy so much."

One day I decided to confront him. He answered that he was just afraid to make mistakes and that he thought I could understand the things he said in his language (I learned the language before) so that it would be a practice for me too because I didn't seem to want to speak in his language even when I already knew the basics. I was honestly taken aback by this.

After that, everything I hated about him turned to be just right. He started smiling at me and actually talked to me and other friends in our learning language. He taught me about difficult grammars and also how to snowboard, but even though he got frustrated for not being able to express it verbally, he showed me how to do it instead of leaving me clueless. I was impressed that he actually had been a nice person.

I can say that all the things you hate from a person can make you think about them more, and you begin to acknowledge their bad qualities by emphasizing it in your mind over and over again. You begin to get used to think about them, replaying things they have said to you (because you just hate it so so much), every day, every hour, and they unconsciously become the topic you want to talk about with your friends, which only leads you to think about them even more. The things you hate about them will turn to be the things you like about them.

And the line is so thin, and your feelings can change side swiftly when you least expect it.

I couldn't say that my hatred had turned to be as deep as "love", but I did grow to like him and it all started from pure hate.


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