Can you love someone who doesn't love you back? If you love someone, but they don't love you back, is that still love or just an obsession?
I really feel for all those that have loved someone and not got the same back it is very painful I've been there 3 times in my life but I've learnt something important about these relationships and I did the bravest thing I told someone who I knew never loved me that I loved them and they didn't have to tell me or I wouldn't expect it back this is what real love is,if you find every relationship keeps repeating same thing for you maybe you need to see why it keeps repeating like this you need to forgive those you felt hurt by and heal and move on love is a beautiful thing love yourself first if u love yourself then when u do find love u won't get hurt because u know u don't need it back you love because it's who you are as a person,often we find people that fill our void and emptiness that we attach ourselves to them then they become our world and everything that we breath and live for is from them this is why we become hurt when we don't feel we are there world too but it's not them it's us learn to love withought needing it back this Is called unconditional love,maybe these pepole u meet do have love there but they have problems themselves when it comes to loving someone so don't feel your unworthy because your far from it your true people who follow your heart start to fill the emptiness with your own love within ask you self what is these people give u that your lacking within yourself then work on it make yourself whole as a person how can u expect someone to love u when u don't love yourself? Blessing to you all I really hope u do find the happiness and love u all seek cause your see it was there all along inside of u already u don't need someone to know what love feels like you are love divine beings share the love with everyone
I am no expert when it comes to love, or the philosophy of love, so let me just answer this from my experiences. Considering my years of living - only more than 17 years, those experiences may not be a big deal for many of you out there, but I still want to share my viewpoints on this topic. I have been there, and I AM THERE now, so it might be nice for you and me to talk about this a bit. And, I must say that...
...that one side love is just wonderful.
I mean, who does not like having such love for at least once in their lifetime? Especially for me, having that kind of love is one of the most beautiful things.
First, to clearly state my opinions about your questions:
You can definitely love someone who does not love you back.
There is no definition of the "exchange rate" when it comes to love. There is no "if I love you, you must love me too." You may feel that way about them, and they may, or may not feel the same. You fall for them, doesn't mean that they should fall for you. If you only love only the ones who love you, then it should not be called "love."
So basically you cannot just ignore your feelings. They are there, as a matter of fact. You are in love with them, so just do not try to bury those emotions. Because I think those times might be some of the experiences that you would adore the most later.
For the second question, I must say that it depends. It depends on the reasons why you fall in love with them. It may be love, it may be an obsession, it may be admiration, it may be sexual desire. You just have to figure it out yourself.
Falling in a one side love, as I said, is a wonderful thing in my experience. You wake up in the morning, and even if it is raining outside, for you it is the sun shining out there. You walk every step with their image in your head. You do many things that you have never done before because those are their things, and you enjoy doing them. You feel the love is filling in the air, having the shy little smile when your friends make some fun out of your love. Those moments are perfect, so enjoy it as you still can.
One side love comes with pain, failures, and disappointments, but it is love. You cannot run away from love. Let me be honest that I have one question in my mind when I am typing these lines: do you seriously consider the fact about the other side's feelings before you decide to fall in love with them? For me, that is weird. If your heart does all those calculations, then your "love" somehow would be some type of emotions investment - you only give when the others want to do the same. I think there is no need for calculations in love - let me just solve the equations for you:
1 = 2. You can love them enough for both of you.
You do not have to think about ethics and all that kind of stuff. Seriously, just love until you cannot do that anymore. Do not ask yourself over and over "Do I really love them?" or "Is this right?" - there is no point of doing so, as it would likely to only make you feel arbitrary and will never be sure about love.
Be strong and be brave when you fall in love, and stronger and braver when you love them one-side.
Love you all.
Yes, you can love someone who doesn't love you back.It's quite simple actually. Love is an emotion that is unconditional...it's blind, illogical and doesn't follow any rules.
So one sided or two sided.. love is love . It will turn into an obsession only if you allow it .
Love is one of the most powerful force in the Universe. It's as old as time and as mysterious as any black magic having the capacity for both great good and great evil.
I know personally the pain of loving someone who doesn't love you in the same way. In such a situation there are two options before you:.
- Cut your loss: Put considerable distance between yourself and the one you love both physically and emotionally. In time your love will fade to a tolerable level and you might find someone else you like and maybe may come to love (in a completely different way though ).
- Continue loving the person, without looking for or expecting any similar emotion. If possible stay in touch and be of some or any use to them. Make their happiness the aim of your life. This one calls for a lot of patience and endurance.
Whatever your choice...never cause any grief to the one you love.Don't stalk or force yourself on to them... and no emotional blackmailing ever . Then your love will never be termed an obsession.
You are lucky if you get to experience true love...whether requited or unrequited.
Don't let go of it.
Move on. Period
Everyone is entitled to his/her preferences and if someone doesn't love you its their choice. You can't question it or find faults with your self. Waiting for the person till eternity to notice your love or accepting it will only waste your time and you will get hurt at every instance. Out of sight is out of mind, so keep a distance once you makeup your mind to move on.
Like I always say we are not taught to handle rejection hence we cannot accept the fact that our crush doesn't love us back or has rejected us.Don't waste your time proving your love to someone who doesn't love you.It will make you a bitter person if you try too hard.
You certainly cannot fit a round ball in a square peg.People have choices. Move on. Start pursuing your life goals, immerse yourself in work.
Time is a good healer.
It felt like an instant connection when I saw him. Probably the first time in many years it seemed like, "Could this really happen?" with music playing right around the corner.
Our eyes met almost too soon and I felt we could have our chances. That first date was unforgettable. The first date with him, the first date of my life, I was bundled with excitement for three days just for three hours of a Sunday afternoon. My joy knew no bounds when I pinched myself to realise this was actually happening.
There was another date. And another. And another. Soon, we were seeing each other a couple of times a week and talking everyday. Things were going great. What could actually go wrong?
It wasn't a relationship.
Yes we were going out for movies, morning runs, lunches, chilling at his place, practically dating, but we never put a tag on it. We weren't exclusive about it in college, no one had an idea. Either I was too afraid it would end if I brought up the topic of a relationship, or I wasn't sure if I was being taken for granted.
One fine day, before I knew it, it's over. All of it. I could totally picture everything undone in front of my eyes, right from the last date to the first glimpse.
I keep wondering how I had let my guard down, how we were that close, and it's over. We were just 'almost' there. That's what we were, 'almost'.
I almost fell in love with him. I almost told him. I almost let him in. I had completely imagined a life with really brilliant date ideas and the movies I wanted to cuddle up and watch with him. Almost held his hand too tight, only to figure out a physical contact other than a friendly hug wasn't something we had over those two years of the 'almost'.
There was ever lasting laughter, face full of smiles, gossip, emotions, drives, memories at different places across the city which pulls me back whenever I visit them. I almost walked the line, I went a little too far in my head.
I thought we were in this together, and it wasn't just me. It felt like love. I came so close to finding it was an almost relationship that came so close to real. Yet it wasn't.
So why does it feel crushed to be in such a state? Why does it feel like you lost out on something when all you were was just an almost? The reason, although silly, is because in your head you built him up. You had created this ever so perfect mental image of him which no one could destroy. You could not see beyond that. You did not want to. In your mind you went the distance, but he was gone in no time. He walked away, no, bolted away.
What I thought were the endless possibilities, the truth is he never fell for me the same way. He bailed without giving me a cue. I almost fell too hard and it sucked. Close shave, I sometimes tell myself, I just got bruised instead of getting cut. Good riddance, I think. Life's funny, isn't it?
Yes you can love someone who doesn't love you. But it feels defeated and deceived by your own mind.
Almost is all it took to take me from definitely to maybe, from a perfect picture to a blurry one.
With regard to your question, I think I should tell you a brief story about a guy.
This guy, A, loved a girl B passionately. Here A was certainly smitten by the entire persona of the girl and is reluctant to take up the issue with her...which is very common indeed.It was one sided love featuring people from two different cities and economic classes , boy being the poorer of the two.Hence, the chances of meeting and blooming the friendship into relationship were abysmal.
Somehow, after a few visits to her home town on different pretexts, he develops a strong bond with her. This is further bolstered by online chat options. Here, again the romance is still one way traffic from his side.
Being totally in love with her, instead of being a typical 'majnu', he devotes his energy into transforming himself into a successful person who can confidently confess his love. (Having a good career always helps) He manages small feats and achievements.
After this, feeling confident, he confesses and still gets a No. Now, instead of being heart broken and feeling devoid of any inspiration in life, he understands her feelings or rather the lack of them. Subsequently, not losing hope,he works harder and manages to get abroad through campus recruitment. Meanwhile, he stays in touch with her, respects her decision but doesn't leave her side through thick n thin.
Ultimately, after exactly one year, witnessing his unconditional support n love ,this time the girl proposes.
The crux of the matter is stay with the one you love, even as friends, don't rush your case. If today they are uncertain or uninterested , have hope that tomorrow they will get your feelings. Meanwhile, instead of making your emotional condition an impediment to success , turn it into a milestone.
Thanks Megha Pratap Reddy Basa for asking me to answer this.
Yes , we can love someone who doesn't love us back.
Regarding love , I always believe the quote by Tagore - "Love is an endless mystery as there is nothing else to describe it."
Pure love is unconditional , non-judgemental and kernelled by dedication. Love is happiness, love is devotion. Beyond mere Hangouts and dates ( which are necesaary parts of a relationship though ), love is something different. It's eternal and not subject to change with person. Love is often compared to God . Perception of love maybe different for different persons, but ultimate goal is same , which is self-abnegation.
And I believe , one sided love is a pure form of love . Irrespective of the other person's decision , you possess devotion and respect. You want their happiness and prosperity , afterall.
Obession is something you get for a particular quality of a person for a short period of time . It shouldn't be confused with love.
Obession is desperate , love is patient.
Also, I believe , with an approval , anyone can love. But loving someone who doesn't love back is really hard and often true one.
Hope you get my point .
To add to , this one sided love is something I have felt. I did love a guy before we had met , and later on we were in relationship. But , we also had a separation and since the past few months , I have felt that one sided love again - this time , differently yet beautifully. So, I have known the feeling and I know whatever it is , it is true and dedicated.
There could be a lot of answers to that :
It is human nature to always want, what you cannot have.
If this is the case you have to get over it.
2. The person you love is a really good person -
This is a bit tricky. It is always easier to get over people who have been rude to us. People who are egoistic, self centered. But, if you love someone who is a really good person. A person who takes care of you even after telling you that you are not compatible with her/him. A person who cheers you up in your difficult times. A person who cares for you even though he/she may not be open to a relationship as of then.
Such kind of people are rare.
It is really not important as to how many flings you can have in your life but we all long for that particular story that we can tell our children about ‘How I met your mother' (An epic love story). Love her/him and support them and stand by them in their hard times. One day he/she will appreciate your true feelings. That is the kind of relationship that you want. Not a meaningless fling.