Do you ever feel like you will never fall in love again?
Do I feel like I will never fall in love again?
Not necessarily that I wont, but that I have ABSOLUTELY NO DESIRE to.
In fact, I'd say I intentionally avoid the whole "L" word like it's the black death especially when it rolls off the lips of any man. I simply have lost the ability to believe them.
"Men speak conveniently of Love when it serves their purpose, and when it doesnt...'tis a burden to them"__ the Lady Marian, Robin Hood.
In retrospect and introspecr, I'd say that it hasn't brought anything good into my life when I have fallen in love with someone. And part of that has to do with me.
I lost too much of myself, and gave too much of myself to the wrong people. I don't like what that did to me, or the way it caused me to change as a person in those situations because it was so far removed from who I truly am. It's a long, hard road back to "you" if "you" somehow fall by the wayside in that journey. It's not a mistake I will ever make again in the future. Sex is great, it's fun..but he need not bring a toothbrush, he won't be around long enough to need one.
Should I ever again feel the need for love and romance, I'll just buy a book and skip the real life drama, turmoil, and heartbreak. Will I change my mind down the road? Probably not.
"Human hearts will never be made practical, until they can be made unbreakable"__the wizard, The Wizard of Oz.
I did. In fact I decided that I wasn't ever going to find the man I was looking for so I focused on making my life the best it could be.
I think that was the reason why I was ready and in the right head space to be with the man that I am now with because I didn't need him in my life. I wanted him. Actually I do need him because he makes my days so much brighter, but I don't need him for my self worth. I polished that up by being alone and taking time to really grow to love myself :)