Do you regret divorcing your husband/wife?

No, no, and no. Divorcing my husband was the best thing that ever happened to me. We were horribly mismatched and the few years I spent with him were amongst the most miserable years of my life.

Here's some background. I was in undergrad at the time. Although we took heavy precautions to prevent an unplanned pregnancy (birth control + latex condoms), I became pregnant during my sophomore year of college. His family did not approve of a child out of wedlock (as he already had one child out of wedlock) and we married for this reason. Boy was THAT a mistake!

He was very controlling and didn't agree with most of the things I did. I'm open-minded and friendly and inviting. I have gay, transexual, and mixed-raced friends. He was completely against such mingling and felt that I should stop being friends with my friends because of his say so. I'm also strong-minded and I wasn't going to allow him to tell me to end some of my lifelong friendships because of his phobias and closed-minded approach to life.

He also felt that I should drop out of school, stop working, and be a stay-at-home wife! There is nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home wife, but when we met, I was pursuing a degree in Electrical and Computer engineering. So, I couldn't, for the life of me, understand why he thought I would drop out of school, give up my dreams, and stay at home instead. Plus, he wasn't making a lot of money. So, it didn't make sense for me to stop working. Well, he didn't like that one bit. He made things very hard for me. He wouldn't take me back and forth to work. He would not watch our son while I worked and he refused to help pay for childcare while I worked and/or went to school.

He was very condescending toward me and emotionally abusive because he said I "did not listen." He never hit me, but he placed a lot of mental scars on me daily and eventually made me feel very low. I became depressed (although I didn't realize it at the time. Hindsight really is 20/20!), gained a lot of weight, and was not doing very well for myself.

In the end, I left when our son was only 3 years old. It was apparent that we had very different views of marriage and very different pictures of the lives we wanted to live. Since leaving him, my life started improving and it just keeps getting better

Today, I'm doing exceptionally well for myself. I'm not depressed. I'm happy every day. I'm down to a healthy weight and I work out regularly. I finished my bachelor's and master's, and am one semester away from finishing my PhD. I am being recruited by government agencies, national labs, and industry giants. Our son lives full-time with me because I moved out of state to pursue graduate school and at 11 years old, he is a "nerd athlete." He is in an academically gifted program where he earns straight A's. He also competes academically on the debate team and battle of the books team (and chess team - which isn't exactly academic, but is close enough). He is 2 years away from being a black belt in karate, and he plays football (which I hate, but allow him to play because he loves it). He also is learning to play the guitar and to read and write music. As you can imagine, I have a very busy life, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Divorcing my husband was the best thing that ever happened to me!


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