Do you, years later, regret filing for divorce?
Of course I do! No one ever marries thinking it will end in divorce! I think there are some good reasons for people to get divorced, but I also think there are many equally good reasons for people to stay married. The path we choose depends on our perception of effort and people's abilities to change behavior. I read posts about people who are ecstatic to be divorced and find that their reaction confuses me. However, I understand that when you are unhappy the ability to get out of a bad or confusing situation seems very lucrative.
Personally, I regretted getting divorced from my wife because I loved her. I still love her to this day and want her to have a happy life. I have a good life and no complaints about being single, but I do miss the person I married. I miss all of the things we used to do and conversations we used to have. I miss everything about her and mostly I regret making her feel she needed to leave.
People make mistakes, not always intentionally, but sometimes we do things that make the other person feel the only option is to divorce. I did not cheat on my former wife but I did look at porn and this made her feel less desirable. I did many foolish things like this. Most of all I regret not going to counseling with her, although I did go by myself. I regret not being able to show her that I wanted to be better because I loved her and I valued our marriage. I wanted to be better for us, and wanted her to want that same thing. I regret never having the opportunity to show her my progress and dedication to changing my poor behavior, I have accepted that many of my actions caused me to lose the love of my life.
Still, I implimented the changes in myself to fix what led to my divorce. I worked on myself and today while I regret my divorce I have found a new path to happiness and learned from those mistakes. I still miss and love my former wife but respect and understand her decision to leave.
Regret is a normal feeling and if you can learn from it you may find it can make you a better, happier person once you forgive yourself and the dust settles. Me and my former wife both made mistakes that I felt could have been solved with better communication and clearer goals in which we both contributed too. Looking back can be hard but acknowledging my past mistakes makes me feel I have learned and have become a better man. I regret losing my wife; she was and still is an important part of my life. Losing her forced me to look at myself and my choices. I have a better appreciation of our time together, for her and for our marriage.
I regret my divorce not because it led me to become a better person. I regret that I had to lose my wife to learn how important those changes were, and that I had not made them in time to save my marriage.