Does marriage ruin your whole life and everything?
If you marry the wrong person, it can absolutely ruin you.
I was a high functioning young man when I first tied the knot. Only a few months in the marriage, , however, I was suffering from anxiety and depression. In- Laws constantly interfering in my home on everything from home improvement and finances. They lived maybe 5 miles away. Managing this while I went to work everyday was impossible.
It was horrendous. Her values were different than mine, and she really wanted to be with someone more established financially. I was perhaps 3 years out of school. It was sad.
She was very attractive and an only child. Not a good recipe for selflessness needed. I was young and thought I would be able to figure it out, somehow.
When the marriage ended I was perhaps 30 pounds under weight. I knew for my own mental health, I had to go on alone.
When she left I felt relief.
It was years before I had the guts to date again. I concentrated on my career and friends in the meantime.
Today I have a succcessful career, a strong marriage and two gorgeous children -but for a long time, I never thought I'd be in this position or any position. I really felt like I ruined myself.
My advice to anyone going threw it is to spend time on yourself, and pay close to attention to what is important in life. Thrive on your own first before you look to settled down. You can and will comeback but it really takes time.
Had I stayed married to her, I am convinced I would be long dead.