Have you ever been a bad influence on someone?
Not directly, I haven't.
When I was younger, about 7–8 and in a very strange elementary school, I was considered the most popular girl in school.
Surprise surprise, I was also one of the meanest little shits on the block.
And not even on purpose, I was just very advanced and had parents that refused to move me up a grade or two.
But anyways, it wasn't like I pushed or bullied kids, I was just manipulative. Somehow, at the age of young, I learned how to get people to do what I wanted if I said certain things or did certain actions.
And boy did I abuse it.
I had a little entourage of people that would follow me wherever I went, and was known by all the teachers as the favorite. And so, with half the school under my spell, I managed to find a new kid that had missed out on the memo.
Me: *Sees some blonde girl with authority issues pushing a little groupie of mine into a wall, the kid has a bloody nose*
Me: Hey. What do you think you'e doing?
Girl that will be known as T: None of your business, stupid.
Me: Oh, I think this is my business. That's my friend. And I think you need to leave them alone or else.
T: Oh yeah? *pushes the kid away, stalks towards me* Well I don't care about what you think! I'll do whatever I want! *pulls back to hit me*
I dodge with a smile on my face, and keep prancing backwards, watching the kid run off to get a teacher without T noticing
Me: You're not gonna hit me. I know you won't.
T: Shut UP!
We continue like this for a few minutes, my bathroom break is long over, and the voices of adults are getting closer, as well as little groupie's.
T finally notices and gets a good hit on my stomach as soon as the teachers come into view.
Teacher: T! What do you think you're doing? Office, now!
And T ends up being hated for the rest of the year, and I get hailed as a hero for protecting the little second grader without even lifting a finger.
Now, you may be using, ‘how does this show you being a bad influence, Lue?' Well, you see, I knew the fight was going to happen. T had been having a bad week and was messing up my good times, so I suggested to one of the littler groups of kids to tick her off and provoke her, and in return, I'd get her in big trouble.
And so, to those little kids, sorry for teaching you that violence was the answer, and if you want someone bigger than you to get hurt, to go get the other bigger person.
When I look back at moments of my life of which I am not proud, I find that the common trend uniting these moments tends to be the momentary triumph of strong emotion over reason and virtue.
In my middle school years, I had a quick temper that would flare at the slightest provocation. Once, in basketball practice, one of my teammates began to argue with me over who should be on the court. I assumed, perhaps incorrectly, I was the far superior player.
Believing my position to be justified, I then encouraged other teammates to bully this other fellow to the point where he decided he had rather avoid the court.
While I spent the next fifteen minutes gleefully playing on the court, my victory was short-lived. I couldn't help but feel that I had in some way wronged us all: I had wronged my adversary by relying on unfair means in defeating him, I had wronged my teammates in playing themselves against each other, and perhaps most importantly, I had wronged myself in not holding myself to the high moral standard that had initially won me the respect of everyone in the room, including myself.
Reflecting upon the trifling quarrels among adolescents, I realize that the best I can do is become a good influence on myself, guided by fairness and benevolence, with hopes that others may also reap some benefit.
Yes I have. I was friends with twins Annette and Lynette in high school. Annette was in my class and I used to egg her on to bunk classes with me. I was quite bright and had a knack of knowing when tests would be written and would not bunk those sessions. I always passed well which is perhaps a reason we weren't reported to the head master. Annette failed that year and it bugged me that it was probably because of my influence. We were quite naughty and were always in trouble which in those days meant reporting to the headmaster's office for cuts. We would have to put our hands out and be hit with a metal ruler 6 times. It hurt like hell and took every bit of courage not to cry. Today headmasters would be taken to court for that. The boys would have to bend and take the cuts on their backsides. It left deep welts which sometimes bled. There are probably other times as well but this one came to mind now.
Yes and I regret it.
When I was a kid, I was considered the only child until my younger brother was born. And when my younger brother was born, I noticed that my parents would put more attention on him than me. Even if he was already a kid who could walk and talk, they still put more attention towards him.
And, being that very jealous kid, I started the sibling rivalry. I was really harsh on my younger brother because of the amount of attention he got from my parents when we were younger. My mother tried telling me that they did that because my younger brother needed more care, but that didn't make sense because whenever I showed them something I made, mom would ignore it and focus on my brother.
So...I was the one responsible for getting him in trouble as much as possible, trying to win at everything when he was competing with me, kind of bullying him, etc.
And all that now has bounced back because my younger brother began to make generalizations about all women because of me. There was a certain day when my family were out to eat with an old friend of theirs to which my younger brother got impatient and wanted to go home (he was 15 years old). Seeing that he was about to protest, I glared at him and told him that my parents had not met with their old friend for about 7 years and that was the reason they wanted to talk so much. And with that, my brother then proudly told me that women talked too much and he didn't like it because I talked too much. *sigh*
Then came his horrendous temper because of video games. When I used to be addicted to gaming, I was extremely harsh on him too, and now he's absorbed that mentality to yell at mom to get his smartphone back. :(
There are a lot of bad things I did when I was a kid because of jealousy. And now, I am currently seeing the product of such within him. Oh what a monster I've created. :/
Have I EVER been a Bad Influence on Someone? Well, of COURSE I have! ALL of Our Spoken Words, ALL of Our Performed Actions have a Very Real Influence upon ALL of Those People who were Forced to Endure Our Words or Actions.
My Friend, I PROMISE You, NO ONE is Going to Rewrite the Book Of James in the New Testament, NOT Based on MY Life, any way. I USED to be a Practicing Alcoholic...Practicing, Hell...I PERFECTED Alcoholic Behavior. I USED to Use Illicit Drugs at Parties. I was SO Drunk, I could have been Snorting Ajax Cleanser, for all I Know. And, I USED to Use Tobacco Products.
I Chewed Tobacco like it was a Dark Green Leafy Vegetable. And, I Smoked like a Proverbial Chimney.
I am Convinced, Sir, EVERYONE who SAW Me...Three Decades ago was NOT Positively Influenced by MY Behavior!
Thank You, My Friend, for My Daily Dose of Humility, Believe it or not, Sir, I Hope you have a Pleasant Evening...any way.
In middle school, I was always one to follow the crowd. However in high school, I began to have problems at home as well as with my social life. I only really had one friend which meant we would spend all of our time together. This friend was a few years younger than I was and belonged to higher class family than my own, so she had always been one to follow her parent's rules.
As I mentioned before, I was having a lot of issues and became depressed. I turned to alcohol and other ways to self medicate. Looking back, I kinda feel bad for bringing her through all that bullshit with me since she was so much younger than I was. But ultimately it was her choice to stick by me. To this day we're still best friends and are both doing great.
Thanks Chris for asking a very useful and thought-provoking question. My honesty of being selfless took me to a deep dive to check I have ever been a culprit of the sort. I am very lucky; I HAVE NEVER BEEN SUCH A PEST.
I could have been though, during my teens. I had yet to learn sophisticated ways and possibly reacted harshly on a number of occasions. But that did not influence someone adversely. . . . Perhaps there was a natural corrective action before someone pocketed any thing wrong and copied thereafter.
I have always tried to be nice, decent and listening. I WAS QUITE CONSCIOUS ABOUT NOT BEING A BAD EXAMPLE.
. . . And all that comes with profound good thinking for others.
I guess you could say that teaching fellow students how to have enjoyable sex/masturbate in high school was "bad" to some people. In reality, it let some of the more insecure girls I knew become more confident. The idea that you can feel that good without someone else involved, and that it's their problem not yours if you don't cum, was so empowering to them. I even helped one of my better friends pick out a vibrator when we were older lol!
Other than that I was good, I didn't do drugs (mostly, I did start smoking ganja when I was 17 but that's another story), I didn't get into fights, and I was home on time. If anything, everyone else was a bad influence on me.