Have you ever cheated on your lover?
A few thoughts....
- Yes, and it cost me the woman of my dreams, soul mate and mother of my 2 children after 27 years of marriage.
- Some people over simplify it. Cheating can be a very complex issue, that doesn't relate to your partner.
- My issue related to being abandoned by my parents, and trying to find intrinsic self worth from external sources. I have been successful and accomplished in just about everything I did. To others, I am funny, caring, considerate, kind... overall a great guy. However, my secret was that I never felt worthy of my wife, my friends and my accomplishments. I took them all for granted in different ways.
- After a year plus of therapy, it all came together and I understood various aspect of my life and how it manifested in my behavior. For me the few times I accepted another woman's attention, it wasn't because my wife was not sexy or attentive etc. It was simply my attempt to fill the void and wanting to be accepted and liked. I am responsible for my behaviors, regardless of the underlying cause.
- The tragedy in all of this was I had everything I wanted and needed in life. I lost it all. Today, I am happier then I have ever been. I am not cured. I am like an alcoholic. The hole is still there, and I feel insecure at times, but I understand the feeling. It's up to me to ignore it, and make better decisions to ensure a happier future.
In my early twenties, I've was unfaithful to my first wife. We lasted 4 years. It took months of therapy for me to realize that I'd prefer a faithful relationship. Not long after the divorce. I took up with a woman and we were faithful for ten years. My wife are closing in on thirty years together. At 72, unlike many men, I lost my libido and yearning to cheat on my current wife. Like a bald man who pursues getting his hair back, many men try to extend their sex life after they start having troubles. My wife and I decided not to do this as it felt unnatural. So, I'm out of the hurly-burly now and truly relieved. I no longer suffer from wanting to pursue women who were most available, intelligent and good looking during the last 30 years. I stayed faithful and am glad I did. Yet, there were times I suffered painfully from not having other relationships.
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Yes I did. I was on a quest that time.