Have you ever felt scared to be loved by someone?
I feel scared!!!!
I feel scared of that someone in my life who came in my life without my permission...never even asked for my consent before making me his world , never asked me before taking care of my needs, ....Wait...i don't need you in my life!!!
You might be the greatest lover on this whole planet but the feelings you have for me are yours and I am not responsible for it....neither I am supposed to feel the same way you do.!
There exists a person in my life whom i choose to make someone for the rest of life... because even his name and the thought of he near me scares me. I never imagined myself in a situation like this but yes it is happening to me...and he does exist...I never loved him..nor i am going to in future as well but he claims to love me more than anyone in this world...He is kind of mad ...has my name written on his left hand with blade in bold letters...the intials of my name and his on his palm....and these are some of those stunts he showed me to tell me how much he loves me. That was the moment when I was even scared to tell him that I actually i have no feelings for him. I just told him that we can be just friends for now because we are too young to get into any relationship.
I changed my school, went to a different city...he followed me there also...saying I am the only one he needs in his life....but dude ...did he even care to ask me that if he is the one for me?? Nope and he doesn't even care to listen to that... why would he...because according to him his love is enough to bind us together for the rest of our life.
I am scared of the fact that if I will never accept him what will he do? Because once I dared to explain things to him, he tried to take his own life. I was lucky enough that he was saved but with some major fractures. After this incident I couldn't gather the courage to say him NO.
He never harmed me . He never even tried to misbehave with me in all these years but still I can't let him enter in my life . I never loved him, never was I attracted towards him,then how could I make him my world????
He keeps calling me saying my voice is the only thing he wants to hear, he would always love me, and he will make sure that one day I will accept his love...when he says things like these to me I feel unsafe...I find it quite disgusting. I have tried all the ways to make him understand that I have no interest in him and his silly talks but still he keeps coming back to me. I can't understand that why is it so tough for him to understand that i can never be the one for him which he demands. Why can't he just accept the truth and move on.
I am still in search of an appropriate explanation to say No to his proposal.
His love is not something that gives me peace...but it is something that scares me like hell.
1. Real love makes us feel vulnerable.
A new relationship is uncharted territory, and most of us have natural fears of the unknown. Letting ourselves fall in love means taking a real risk. We are placing a great amount of trust in another person, allowing them to affect us, which makes us feel exposed and vulnerable. Our core defenses
are challenged. Any habits we've long had that allow us to feel self-focused or self-contained start to fall by the wayside. We tend to believe that the more we care, the more we can get hurt.
2. New love stirs up past hurts.
When we enter into a relationship, we are rarely fully aware of how we've been impacted by our history. The ways we were hurt in previous relationships, starting from our childhood, have a strong influence on how we perceive the people we get close to as well as how we act in our romantic relationships. Old, negative dynamics may make us wary of opening ourselves up to someone new. We may steer away from intimacy, because it stirs up old feelings of hurt, loss, anger or rejection. As Dr. Pat Love
said in an interview with PsychAlive
, "when you long for something, like love, it becomes associated with pain," the pain you felt at not having it in the past.
3. Love challenges an old identity.
Many of us struggle with underlying feelings of being unlovable. We have trouble feeling our own value and believing anyone could really care for us. We all have a "critical inner voice
," which acts like a cruel coach inside our heads that tells us we are worthless or undeserving of happiness. This coach is shaped from painful childhood experiences and critical attitudes we were exposed to early in life as well as feelings our parents had about themselves.
While these attitudes can be hurtful, over time, they have become engrained in us. As adults, we may fail to see them as an enemy, instead accepting their destructive point of view as our own. These critical thoughts or "inner voices" are often harmful and unpleasant, but they're also comfortable in their familiarity. When another person sees us differently from our voices, loving and appreciating us, we may actually start to feel uncomfortable and defensive, as it challenges these long-held points of identification.
4. With real joy comes real pain.
Any time we fully experience true joy or feel the preciousness of life on an emotional level, we can expect to feel a great amount of sadness. Many of us shy away from the things that would make us happiest, because they also make us feel pain. The opposite is also true. We cannot selectively numb ourselves to sadness without numbing ourselves to joy. When it comes to falling in love, we may be hesitant to go "all in," for fear of the sadness it would stir up in us.
5. Love is often unequal.
Many people I've talked to have expressed hesitation over getting involved with someone, because that person "likes them too much." They worry that if they got involved with this person, their own feelings wouldn't evolve, and the other person would wind up getting hurt or feeling rejected. The truth is that love is often imbalanced, with one person feeling more or less from moment to moment. Our feelings toward someone are an ever-changing force. In a matter of seconds, we can feel anger, irritation or even hate for a person we love. Worrying over how we will feel keeps us from seeing where our feelings would naturally go. It's better to be open to how our feelings develop over time. Allowing worry or guilt over how we may or may not feel keeps us from getting to know someone who is expressing interest in us and may prevent us from forming a relationship that could really make us happy.
6. Relationships can break your connection to your family.
Relationships can be the ultimate symbol of growing up. They represent starting our own lives as independent, autonomous individuals. This development can also represent a parting from our family. Much like breaking from an old identity, this separation isn't physical. It doesn't mean literally giving up our family, but rather letting go on an emotional level – no longer feeling like a kid and differentiating
from the more negative dynamics that plagued our early relationships and shaped our identity.
7. Love stirs up existential fears.
The more we have, the more we have to lose. The more someone means to us, the more afraid we are of losing that person. When we fall in love, we not only face the fear of losing our partner, but we become more aware of our mortality. Our life now holds more value and meaning, so the thought of losing it becomes more frightening. In an attempt to cover over this fear, we may focus on more superficial concerns, pick fights with our partner or, in extreme cases, completely give up the relationship. We are rarely fully aware of how we defend against these existential fears. We may even try to rationalize to ourselves a million reasons we shouldn't be in the relationship. However, the reasons we give may have workable solutions, and what's really driving us are those deeper fears of loss.
Most relationships bring up an onslaught of challenges. Getting to know our fears of intimacy and how they inform our behavior is an important step to having a fulfilling, long-term relationship. These fears can be masked by various justifications for why things aren't working out-but we may be surprised to learn about all of the ways that we self-sabotage when we get close to someone else. By getting to know ourselves, we give ourselves the best chance of finding and maintaining lasting love
Yes, several times with my first husband. He was manic depressive bipolar and quite sadistic.
Our youngest daughter had a old Basset Hound, his name was Sam but I called him Mister Spit. Every time he came around you, he would shake his head and you got spit on your pants or your leg if you were unlucky.
In 1996, my first husband decided that he hated Sam. He was angry at the mess the dog made of his clothes. Late one afternoon when the children were not home my husband wanted to go somewhere in his truck. Sam was taking a nap behind one of the back wheels of my husband's truck. My husband walked around the truck, kicked at Sam & then started the truck. I ran from the house to get Sam. My husband put the truck into reverse and ran over poor Sam. I was crying and screaming at my husband. He stopped the truck and then went forward running over the poor dog again. I was begging and pleading that we needed to get the dog to the vet. He shoved me down to the ground and went in the house. He came out with a gun and shot Sam in the head. He then aimed the gun at me and said we will tell our daughter that her dog got ran over by a truck. You want to tell her anything else and you are next.
Love Can Be So Scary
Longing and wanting aren't easy to feel, but they come with the territory.
Posted Jun 07, 2015
In Western culture, falling in love is considered "The Happy Thing"-two people find each other and the story ends, the curtain drops, the credits roll. The problems of loneliness, desire and attachment have been solved. This is a deeply satisfying narrative, but as many of us experience in our actual lives, it is often less straightforward. To fall in love requires us to recognize powerful feelings of longing, which can render us emotionally exposed and scared.
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loved one, outside marriage!
Yes. That because of me. I had shared my love for her with a friend-CEO and he after careful listening had cautioned me that. If she reports me or any one else does then I will be fired.
That put the brakes on my acts. But I was always with her mentally then and even now.
Gadi rukgayi hai station pe :-(
After I was fired due to the HRM who had chosen to reported me to the CEO I had left.
Tthe one I loved came and met me. Happiness blessed me, I thought.
But, she said, you know I still have that message you sent me. What will happen if I forward it to the HR. That message in question was, ' hi where are you? how come I miss you so much!!!' My response: ' please do as you like, I have lost my job anyway!'
We didn't meet after that day.
My wife threatened me too.That She will committ suicide or that the other dire consequences I will suffer due to my undying love for another lady. According to the dharma it is unjust. But i tell her that This happened so naturally for her. My emotions for her and the aspirations for her have hardly expired till date..
Yes indeed! I have trust issues because of a rough past with love. But you can truly tell if a person really loves you.When you feel real love it scares you because of the fear of loosing that.
When a person truly loves you unconditionally... you grow dependant on that love so therefore, you can't go without it. So GOD forbid the thought of ever loosing that love.