Have you ever had a weird uncle in your family?

Not necessarily just weird, but gay.

He's literally gay.

Clowning around at family reunions and always turning things into a joke, he's a pretty funny guy.

One of the first memories I have of him is when we went to the beach; he would make what he called "sand-burritos," a rolled up ball of sand that was then inserted into my brother's swimsuits. Whenever we went on hikes and were near a cliff, he would jerk me forward to pull me back and say: "SAVED YOUR LIFE." - Every time. If you look closely at any picture with him, there are always fingers poking up behind someone's head.

They both loved their dogs, but my uncle would eat the dried dog food (think really hard, bad tasting, coco-puffs) like a snack.

I'd say he's a little weird.

When I was a kid, I just thought I had an extra uncle, my parents would explain that they were 'friends'.

They're married now. They own a 'doggy daycare' business in California.

My Uncle Tom on my father's side was a bit of a character.

When my grandparents died they were cremated. They each had their own urns and we're being passed from sibling to sibling until my aunt ended up with them. My Uncle Tom said "Hey, why don't you let me take care of them for a while?" My aunt agreed and they put the urns in the back of his car.

Now my aunt lives in British Columbia. My uncle lived in Newfoundland. He was driving home. Needless to say, he was a little tired when he got in. His stepson, going out on a date, asks to use the car.

Without thinking, he throws his stepson the keys and goes up to the bedroom to sleep.

The next morning, over breakfast, the stepson asks my uncle:

"Hey, uh, what was in those jars in the back seat?"

"Why?" asks my uncle.

"Well my girlfriend and I were making out back there and dumped both jars onto the floor".

So, my ever tactful uncle gets the dustbuster out and now grandpa and grandma are together forever.

He let the whole family sit on that story for two years before he said:

"Oh, I made the whole thing up. Who gets these urns now?"

Hell yeah!

During the holidays there is this weird dude who always comes to our holiday family reunions. He usually just sits there and stares at the wall. He is like 6' 5" and his beard is huuuuuuuge. He is our like 2nd cousin 4th removed or something like that.

Heres some strange things he does;

goes to the bathroom and stays there for a solid 2 hours.

once shoved his hand up the turkey and said that it was hard.

he showed up with his two wives

he once started taking a shit on my aunts car hood.

he once brought all his cats with him

gave everybody used q-tips for Christmas.

caught a bullfrog and then proceeded to eat it alive.

pulled out 4 teeth with pliers


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