Have you ever had learnt someone loved you immensely and it surprised you?

I don't know if it's love, but there was definitely regard there. And yes, I was shocked.

I dated this guy after a bad break up. We got along well enough, but he wasn't someone that was a great match for me. I got along great with his friends, and we all had fun hanging out together. I think I gained a lot from that support. The guy and I never really broke up, but due to some circumstances that are too lengthy to go into, we drifted apart. We never saw each other again after I went on a long trip.

Fast forward about 15 years, and I bump into one of his buddies that I really got along with. We chatted for a while about what each of us was up to. Then he mentioned the guy I had actually dated was still talking about me! WOW!

When we had met, both of us were sort of on the rebound. We had each broken up from long relationships. She was a local catalog model, and a really lovely looking girl. From the way the friends talked about her, she sounded like she was also very nice. Their break up was from the same sorts of issues that he and I didn't match up on. Yet somehow he was still talking about me and not her!

I was surprised and shocked. Although I doubt it was immense love, I definitely made more of an impression on him that I thought I had.


There was this boy I was working with about 3 years back. He worked with me for a short period of time, but we stayed in touch after he left. I used to feel very friendly towards him. There was no attraction and no brotherly emotion as well. Only a good friendship.

He wasn't the kind of person I would've shared everything with, because he didn't seem to be on my wavelength. He wasn't a deep thinking kind of person. But he was pretty easy going, cool about everything. I was at the peak of depression, going through severe verbal abuse from my dad, and had no ability to think about anything clearly myself. I wouldn't want to go home at all.

It felt great to talk to him, chat with him. Not therapeutic, in the sense I wouldn't rush towards him if things are going bad seeking his shoulder to cry on or seek his advice. He was a year younger than me. Not that it would've mattered if there was attraction. I just didn't think he had even reached the level where he can handle relationships. He hadn't gained that maturity yet. Yet, I adored him for what he was.

Then the day happened when he texted me asking what would I do if somebody proposed to me. I told him I'm not ready for relationships and he said he got his answer. I realised he was asking for himself from the question itself. What came as a shocker was I was at one of the worst phases of my life. I was just passing my days. So, I don't even know what he saw in me.

After that he did try subtly.

In the end, he stopped talking to me after realising I was strong in my stance. I respect him immensely for not going the stupid way, but I lost a friend.

I meet her just after I graduated from high school and she was a senior in HS. I fell in love at first site. We dated for a year, I was always kind to her but I was just a friend. She went away for college, I went away for the war. Then several years later we bumped into each other in our home town. I am still smitten with her and I'm not sure what she is thinking. But several weeks after bumping into each other, she is very interested in getting together. She decided that she loved me and came after me. We married 6 months later. Our first anniversary we are apart, I'm in the war, she is home. Now 48 years later we are still in love.


In my last year of school we had a new teacher in math I did not really get along with. He was in his early 30ties and did something, me and 2 others in class rebelled against as unfair. From that day on he seemed to be cynical and extra patronizing and i had a hard time finishing the class with reasonable marks. I was actively avoiding to see him in the building, whenever i could, but one day when i was working in the library he came up to me and made fun of "the little girl with no decent haircut", which made me explode and yell at him to be "a f... unfair bully of a teacher ". He left instantly. At that time i was telling my parents about it, but no consequences came of that. He just kept on patronizing, but never said a word about what happend - neither did I. My parents suggested to just sit it out, as my last year was almost over at that time.

3 years later a box with my name was sent to my parents adress. The sender was a legal office in another city. It contained an official letter informing me that my teacher had died in a car crash and the executor had found a box adressed to me amongst his belongings. They apologized for not informing me about the funeral, which had already taken place over a month ago, informed about the burial site and stated the box was the only item with my name on in his appartment. The rest of the letter informed me about legal rights I would have in case i turned out to be a not yet found relative and requested me to get in touch with any information I had about his relations, family and friends. When I opened the box, I found 3 annotated books (a classic, a poetry one and a history of political thought), a silver necklace made from letters reading a favorite quote of mine (i had written it on my hand one day, when we had a class test) and a handwritten 45 page letter. From that I learned he had the intention to send the box for my 25th birthday and that he started to work on the box after I had left school. He stated he deeply loved me in all sorts of colouring words and now that I would be old enough, he wanted me to know. I too learned how lonely and isolated he must have felt for a long time in his life, setting all his hope in the idea of maybe being saved from this by someone like me. It was the most unexpected expression of love and dispair I encountered so far in my life and it left me puzzled and shocked.

While I understand that he was a deeply troubled soul and some things he wrote about himself hinted as to why he might have been, I can't help but wonder, what ever could have driven him to do what he did and if he really would have sent this box or just destroyed it at one point.I often wonder too, if mine was the only box or if he prepared some of those for different students. It still is inexplicable to me.


I think I find the obverse more surprising. Universal Love should be the default - not sexual which is highly selective but agape - love for humanity.

Best wishes


Oh good Lord yes! I was flattered too! But I think the fellow was more infatuated than anything else. I was kind to him at work when other women just dismissed him altogether. We talked about things, he even started crying and telling me his feelings were genuine. But I knew in his heart, he was just happy for a friend.

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