Have you ever looked at your kid and realized you didn't know who they were anymore?
My child went to live her dad last year and he's not as rational with co parenting techniques as I had been for the past 7 years on my terms so I rarely see my daughter any more.... However, we video chat for hours at a time so I can at least still be an emotional support( her father is not) last week she asked me if I could do something (like some kind of phone update or something) I was at home with the flu and I told her no, not now at least. Then, the said "you're a failure"---this child has never even lied to me, or talked back and now this statement. .... It stung, I am not even going to lie and the comment lurked around in my head for a while. But.... She's told me months ago she doesn't like her dad's and that its not what she expected (they doted on her on the weekends and I think she thought it would be like that if she lived there) hes not coopoerative and treats her like a dumb kid, which she is not by any means..... I think she lashed out in the manner in which her current environment allowed her to; she gets the snide comments directed at her from her dad and step mom from what she tells me. She couldn't get away with saying something like that to her father or stepmother so she said it to mom. Ah motherhood: a thankless job haha.