Have you ever met a psychopath?
I have met and diagnosed many psychopaths. Most of what you read on Quora is junk, especially the self professed psychopaths. The situation is so bad (ignorant) that I seldom respond to questions posed here.
It is unlikely that the people who post here have met or interacted with a psychopath unless they have spent several years in prison.
Lately the term has been bastardized and allows narcissistic people to identify themselves as a psychopath. If you have known a psychopath you would know it. They are destructive people who begin their outlandish behaviors in early childhood. We do not diagnose them until adulthood as part of the definition of a psychopath (it is an adult disorder).
Here is just one example of what a psychopath is truly like. At the age of 13 a boy kidnapped his mother and held her for ransom for the afternoon. He actually tied her up. He wanted money from his father. Later, when asked why he did that his response was something to the effect, "I just want to be a success like my Dad." Stupid, impulsive, and destructive of the lives of people around them. For all the self diagnosed psychopaths here on Quora, that is where you begin with behavior that is equally as outlandish and stupid.
For those who think that " not all" psychopaths are like that I would suggest to you that, I am the guy who diagnosed them, and indeed, most if not every, psychopath is like that: stupid behavior, extremely impulsive, and destructive of those around them.
Very few, if any, psychopaths do not wind up in prison at some point in their life. Why? Psychopaths are extremely impulsive and often (at least once a month) engage in stupid behavior as indicated above. The impulsive, outlandish, stupid acts get them in trouble. It is part of the definition of a psychopath. It is not about how intelligent a psychopath is, it is about their behavior that is thoughtless and all too often destructive.
By and large psychopaths have an average IQ distribution with a tendency for higher performance over verbal scores.
I met a man who seemed fairly nice in the beginning. As time went by I started to feel like I was walking on eggshells and nothing was good enough. He started to become outright nasty with criticisms, and verbal abuse. The verbal abuse became cruelty and suddenly I wasn't good enough. Everything I did he would point out wrong slowly my self-confidence was deteriorating. But as time went by it became more Insidious. There was a point in the relationship where I left but I came back and without me knowing for a while he put me in the triangulation with a woman that he was seeing behind my back the whole new relationship. The mind game started and one day I was his girl and the next day I wasn't. The the verbal cruelty continued but then around the summer he assaulted me for the first time. We were sitting on the couch and out of nowhere he started to rage and he got up and he said I haven't killed anyone yet and he grabbed my hair and he threw me across the room. I forgave him and we moved on about a couple weeks later he took out a knife. This was no kitchen knife this was a 12 inch Rambo knife. And the same night he poured air freshener on me. he then later on that month threaten me with a knife again and he put it to my stomach and he chased me down the stairs and choked me on the front lawn he loved choking. He loved grabbing the neck. The reason why I know he's a psychopath it's because I found out he has five or six prior restraining orders. He broke his ex's face her eye sockets, and nose. He told me that he killed his dog and that he sent many fires as a child. And that at the age of 13 he almost killed his stepfather with a screwdriver and he was locked up at the age of 13. He also left me three times for different women and came back and then left again and came back was later I found out is narcissistic trait. And from what the research says psychopaths are narcissistic. From the evidence that I gathered on domestic violence after I left this man said that 25% of men and woman batterers programs are psychopaths that's one out of four. I believe in my heart and my soul he's a psychopath.
Yes I have. Psychopathy doesn't just come from nowhere. It comes from experiences that they've been through. It is also an accumulation of past events that make a person a psychopath. I, myself, have almost become one. When you've been emotionally and physically abused for months by your intimate lover, things happen. You realize that sometimes no one will help if you simply ask for it. You have to lie, cheat, and sometimes even hurt/kill. I have only met a couple in my life, but once again, I've only been on this earth for 16 years. Psychopaths are dangerous, but they can be treated. Criminals don't just start being criminals out of nowhere. It is once again, an accumulation of events. Things gone wrong. Typically things out of their control. They are very manipulative, because they realize that need it to survive. But after using it their ability for a while, they become obsessed with the feeling that they can control people and use it for a lot of bad things. However, a psychopath is not the same thing as a person that has gone mad. A person that is a psychopath, manipulates people. A mad man just does mad stuff. There is a difference.
I just looked up the definition and if this is completely accurate, I have to repeat yes:
Psychopathy (/saɪˈkɒpəθi/), also known as sociopathy (/soʊsiˈɒpəθi/), is traditionally defined as a personality disorder characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, egotistical traits.
Impaired empathy and remorse
Let's say this person has had no problems with many people he's fired, caused to leave his company and many other traits that show he doesn't understand others. He actually told me on a cab ride to the airport that he knew he would be classified as "Machiavellian" minus just one trait: being insane (at least that's what he thought).
I don't think he cares even if he was classified as insane as long as they didn't place him into an institution.
He used to complain about a number of past employees and I just accepted it at the time. However, I soon learned about his "ways" after I decided it wasn't important to be "his friend." I didn't care if he ran the company or if he was incredibly good at his craft. I simply cared for consistency and the welfare of our clients.
He simply wanted to make more money than he could handle.
It wasn't just greed. There was something much more evil about what he was doing.
I had to sit through a number of skype calls with him and his students. He was treating them as if they were criminals and frankly, they were his clients. However, the kids were scared and had very little recourse because their parents had no idea how badly he was verbally abusing them. And even if they did, they somewhat supported it because the ends justified the means.
Despite being our "leader," I found that he was somewhat in his own world and assumed he was "appropriate" because people had to bow down to him. He had no idea that people acted normal around him because of the simple fact he influenced their paychecks. When he wasn't around, he had no idea that all people did was criticize and call him a slew of names that basically are synonymous with "psychopath." It's why I decided to answer this question. I recall a number of the teammates I had say this. I never thought about it until this popped up in my "answer box."
Frankly, I was going to write about my last day with his organization at one point, but have decided to reserve it for another day. It's quite the story and I can't wait to share.
Bold, Disinhibited, Egotistical Traits
He thought he was a God. He wanted to name the new "online system" after himself despite his name being incredibly odd in the first place.
When I first met him, I pronounced his name like the quacking bird we all know. I was told everyone makes that mistake when they first meet him, but he automatically changes it to what a prince thinks he should be called. I never thought much of it, but it fed into all the different ways he behaved over the 5 months I got to know him.
There was one time in a consulting meeting where a story about a previous employer said he was the most unethical person they had ever met. The person who shared it said they weren't sure if they could believe the story and he became incredibly defensive in front of everyone and tried to play it off as if was nothing, but again, it just added to the puzzle I eventually found to be the most psychopathic person I worked with.
I'm very glad I don't work with him anymore. And actually, I'm glad I also had the experience. It goes to show, there are many more sane people out there to have as co-workers and frankly, you might be shocked that you have it "good" - especially, after working with someone like this.
Yes, once we had a girl in our class. It feels rude to call her a psychopath but I think she had the signs. She was very thin, had a pathetic look and was a new girl at that time. She was silent at first but started to talk as we urged her. She told us her father was a wood cutter, and that her family lives in a faraway village. She said that she lives with her aunt in town who is very rude towards her. She also told us that her aunt never gives her any food and makes her starve and that her father comes to see her on weekends and buy her some food which is the only food she rejoices. She would look despairingly at the ceiling and suddenly tears would roll down on her cheeks. We got so upset with her story, we started to buy her food and all kind of things like pens, erasers and note books etc. We spent our pocket money all on her. She graciously took them all. We were all feeling like Mother Theresa not knowing that we should actually feel like clowns. We would sit and talk how sad her story is and glance back anxiously at her making sure that she doesn't over hear us. But then one day, school parents meeting was arranged. To that class monitors should be there to direct parents to the respective teachers. On that day our class monitor found out that her father is actually an officer in some government office. We were shocked beyond belief and for the first time it struck us to ask her where she lives. She refused to give us her address saying that her aunt doesn't allow her to. But then slowly her lies came to light. We asked our class teacher about this and she said our friend lives with her father and mother in the town itself and her mother is actually a primary teacher and also that poverty was out of question in her family. We were so angry and several incidents took place after that. Eventually she left our school too. But thinking back I feel a bit sorry, because she must've been in need of some sort of attention, that's why she created the whole story.
I cannot say for sure because I am not qualified to diagnose psychopathy, but I encounter a lot of people on a consistence basis, so there is a good chance that I have bumped into a few. But two people whom I believe are likely psychopaths comes to mind. The first was a girl who somehow thought that I slighted her and went on an all out mission to destroy me. Luckily, she was low-functioning, and I was able to predict he moves and use them against her.
Please note that some of the follow story is based in some truth, but important details were added, left out and altered.
The other as a member of cooperate for a company that I worked for a while back. He was a very warm and open person, and people quickly liked him. Although he never told me outright, he trusted me enough to lower his mask when nobody else was around. It was nothing spectacular; he just had a very monotone voice and blank expression compared to when he was in front of the others.
I enjoyed working for him because he was consistent. Most people in leadership positions will enforce standards and otherwise act different depending on their mood, but not him. He was also the only one who would stand up to the CEO if he made a bull-headed move.
He had no degrees or formal education, just his ability to charm his way up the ladder , the ability to read people and willingness to do anything to reach his goals. He did not care about the money or the power as much as he did trying to solve the puzzle of human interaction. He enjoyed the challenge more than anything else. I think boredom and monotony were the only things that he hated. Levels of stress that would force a normal person into therapy barely registered.
One time, an entree-level employee tried to ruin my reputation, but he seen right through it. The entree-level guy went from being a wanna-be thug to a shriving mess of insecurity over night, and I laughed a little inside because I knew what had happened. When I asked the cooperate representative what he had said or done, a sly smile came over his face as he said that the only thing I need to know is that my problem had been solved efficiency in a 5- minute conversation.