Have you ever seen a teacher roasted by another teacher?
I have a physics teacher. Probably my favourite teacher of all-time. He is one of those teachers you have stories you'll tell your grandchildren about. Funniest guy you can meet. He'd roast students and allow students to roast him back. He'd host holidays in his class for the subject he teaches. Bring food in for us at times. An all-around great guy who made a difficult subject fun. We'll call him Mr. D. His wife is a teacher for a different school in the school board as well.
We were in the library for a presentation. I forget who the presenter was, what the presentation was about and what class it was for, but that's not important. It wasn't for his class. So we're listening to the presenter when we hear the presenter call to the back of the room:
"Hey Mr. D!"
We all look back. He was walking behind the counter of the library, probably to get something. It was pretty obvious they've met before, and maybe even are friends. After the brief exchange of hellos, the presenter continues:
"I saw your wife the other day."
Which Mr. D immediately counters with:
"I feel bad for you."
The presenter was absolutely shocked, and all of us students in the room just looked at each other before laughing. A double-whammy roast - roasting your wife, who also just happens to be a teacher. Finally, after he recovered from the shock of hearing that statement, he managed to continue:
"She said such nice things about you!"
He gave a "duh" face (one of those, "are you seriously telling me that? I already know!" looks) and said:
"Of course... why wouldn't she!?"
and he just walks out.
What a guy.
My department in particular indulges in "roasting." We do it a lot. Every day when we eat lunch together. There are some really common go-to "narratives" we have about each other. The narrative about me is that I can't take care of myself and depend upon my wife for everything, especially the preparation of my lunch and driving me everywhere. The fact that we alternate making lunch for each other and the fact that I drive to work and she drives home doesn't make a difference. It's all in good fun.
I love roasting our school librarian. The go-to there is that he is hyper-liberal and old. I don't bring up the hyper-liberal part with students, since I don't want them to think that I poo-poo liberalism, but the age thing can be a lot of fun.
"One day, Mr. A looked up and saw a bunch of rocks fuse together. Today, we call them ‘the moon.'"
"Students, if you get a chance, stop by the library and ask Mr. A what [Jesus, Colonel Custer, Julius Caesar, Gandhi, Shakespeare, etc.] was really like."
Sometimes I walk up behind him and clap him on the back, then cough violently, doubling over, gasping, "DUST!"
When talking to students about library skills, I'll pause, look over at him pointedly, and say something like, "Computers... those box with the wires coming out? I mean ropes that hold electricity? Electricity... the... um... spirits that make the boxes work?"
Students like to get in on the act as well. I'll get a call from the librarian every once in a while which starts, "Do you know what one of your students said to me?!"
He likes being famous. When students ask how old he really is, I tell them that we once had that discussion, but had to invent whole new forms of mathematics to come to terms with the actual number.
The fact that he's actually about 58 (we often say 65 just to get his goat) but can bench press a cement truck and has a girlfriend in her 20s is likely why he's such a good sport about it.
My geography teacher once humiliated a music teacher.
For context, I was in geography class as a freshman in highschool. This class took place on the second floor, whereas the music class was on the ground floor opposite to the building the geography class was in. So if you looked down out of the window you could see the music class below.
So in this particular class, at some point I noticed the teacher (I'll call him Greg for now) looking out of the window a lot. At some point he pointed at a girl and told her to go down to the music class and tell whoever was teaching there that "Greg wanted to have a little talk with him through the window".
It took her about 5 minutes to get to the music class, but finally the window opened and the music teacher (I'll call him Dave) shouted to Greg. The conversation that followed is one I probably won't forget soon.
"Hey Greg, what's going on?"
"You see that kid right in front of your desk?"
"No, the one next to him, next to the window."
"What about him?"
"The little brat has a laser pointer and has been pointing it towards the roof in my classroom for the past 15 minutes. It's annoying me, can you maybe do something about that?"
"God f*cking dammit! Give me that..."
At this point the class just burst out laughing. We couldn't really decide what was funnier, Greg casually shouting a conversation to another building, him pointing out to Dave that one of his students who was sitting right in front of him was misbehaving or Dave's reaction once he realised he had completely missed that happening.
I had a brilliant English teacher for my final two years of secondary school (ages 15–16 for those not accustomed to the UK schooling reference).
One lesson towards the end of the day we were having a class discussion at which point the head of English (a teacher far inferior to my own, however my own teacher had chosen not to take the position as head of department as he wanted to devote more of his time to his own students) entered the classroom and proceeded to ask my teacher if he would be staying behind to help set up for the parent-teacher conference later that evening.
My teachers response (in front of a full class of 16 year old boys) was "and will you be paying me overtime for this", the head of English laughed awkwardly and looked around the class as if hoping one of the students may jump to his aide here.
Suffice to say that the English head left The class with his tail between his legs having been belittled in front of a class of top set English students.
we (the students) found this extremely hilarious and had a renewed respect for our own teacher, a man who to use his own words "took no shit from anyone".
I miss those days!
I was bullied by another teacher. The day I stood up to her and asked her to respect me, she jabbed me in the chest with her fingers. It was just she and I and some kids. She was a manipulator. She started yelling, "Barahona pushed me". I am not a manipulative person. She ended up getting me arrested. I lost my job of 15 years. She kept hers. This was in 2016. This last spring, she got in trouble for some kind of theft of property from the school. I had criminal charges, but she didn't have the guts to lie in front of a judge, so it was dismissed. I think she lost her job.
My kids are 12 and 7. We don't have health insurance now, and I have suffered basically what you would call a nervous breakdown. I go Friday to the board of education and finally get the chance to tell my story. I hope I get my job back. If not, maybe they will at least quit giving out false information when my future employers try to contact Human resources. I can't even get a job at Auto Zone or Pawn Shops or anywhere until I get this fixed.
All I know is Karma ain't no joke, and I would never want to do what she did to me to someone else. I forgave her though and wish her no harm.
Various teachers at my school would roast me about my terrible dress sense. It is usually in good fun and I'm always in on the joke, except when the principal does it at staff meetings. She has a way of excluding me from the joke while everyone nervously laughs at what she says. It's always inappropriate too eg. "He earns $x (she knows my pay, obviously, as does the entire staff now) and wears supermarket shoes." I don't really mind though. I'm well liked and she is basically David Brent. She can use me as a vehicle to further alienate herself from her staff if she likes.
The assistant principal and I roast each other in front of the kids at morning assemblies. He lives 2 doors down so we tell various stories about strange goings ons in our quiet street and how the other person caused them. I tell the children about how he stayed up late the previous night so I had to stay up later to go for a sneaky swim in his pool. Or how he only knows stuff about me because he goes through my buns, that sort of stuff.