How can we get rid of stress in our life?
1. Don't take it personally. Life is a mixture of good and bad. If something bad happens to you-past, present, or future – take it as part of your life.
This is not the result of malice directed against you, nor is God's punishment sent down upon you – simply life is multicolored and diverse. If only good things happened to us, we wouldn't learn anything, and our lives would be boring. We all get in trouble from time to time. And we all need to deal with it and learn from it.
2. Everything changes. Whatever your current situation, everything will change. There's nothing you can do about it, you just have to accept that change is inevitable. When we are afraid of changes, try to avoid them, our thinking slows down, a sense of anxiety prevents us from responding adequately to what is happening around. If we accept that change is inevitable, we can respond to it as something exciting, and then the process of our thinking remains pure, clear and easy.
3. Stop trying to be perfect. It is much more conducive to relaxation and is beneficial to accept that we are all not deprived of certain weaknesses and shortcomings. Stop perceiving yourself as a flawed being. If you get rid of everything you see as bad, you lose your identity. Very good to improve themselves, but it is useless to try to be perfect.
4. Take the lead. It's no one's fault that you are who you are. If in a critical situation you will be passive and will only blame everyone and everything, then nothing will change. Take the initiative, take positive steps - and you will be able to change the situation for the better. Do not cling to the past – it cannot be changed; think about the future – it can be influenced.
5. Stop demanding. Let the circumstances guide you instead of trying to subdue them. Change what you can and don't waste your energy on the rest.
6. Where you going? Think of life as a journey. Enjoy it. Look around. Try to analyze what life has given you. Savor every episode of it. And from time to time allow yourself to do nothing, just watch how things develop.
7. Pay attention to the work of your body. Our body is in need of care and support. Without good sleep, quality food, and regular exercise, it starts to fail early. Listen to its work and fix "problems" without waiting for the whole system to fail. Taking care of your body is not selfishness or a waste of time, but a vital necessity.
8. Don't hit your head against the wall. If one or the other situation is you have severe depression and inability to change anything --maybe you should avoid her or otherwise to react to it. Instead of taking this situation as a source of frustration, take it as a challenge. You have no problem; you have experience through which you learn. You have no disappointments, you have unique opportunities to improve your skills and abilities. At times, we all feel frustrated when we can't get what we want or make the situation the way we want it to be. Nevertheless, good mental relaxation can help us cope with disappointment by developing the right attitude to the situation – that is, to perceive it calmly as inevitable.
9. Learn to laugh more, laughter helps to recover faster, allows you to cope better with life dramas and generally improves health. Pay attention to how often you laugh-not just smile or smirk, and laugh heartily, literally to tears. Do this more often, there is no need to be too serious.
10. Express their feelings. Learn to talk more about how you feel. Be honest with other people when it comes to your feelings. Do not try to protect others from them. This applies to both positive and negative emotions. If you feel annoyed, talk about it. If you feel happy – do not hide. Be persistent when you don't want to do something or when you feel that the situation is hurting you.
11. Know what you want. Look ahead and plan what you want to do. Set your life direction. Think about yourself, about what is good for you, and try to achieve it. However, do not want too much, be realistic and flexible, if necessary, make adjustments to their actions. Build both long-term and short-term plans.
12. Manage your relationships. If you don't invest some of your time and effort in a relationship, it will fall apart and fall apart. You need to work in this direction. Take care of your relationships – not only with your loved one, but also with friends, colleagues, acquaintances, family members, relatives, neighbors. At the same time, do not demand too much attention from them to yourself. If the relationship is deadlocked-break them.
13. Use your time effectively. Leave time for leisure, family, love, entertainment, work, travel, study, to be alone. Set aside a place in your schedule for all of these areas of life, and leave a little time to plan for the future and to check how effectively you use your time.
14. Look for choice. There are always at least two ways to influence the situation. When there is a choice, there is a feeling of freedom. In any situation, consider the options. Nothing in life is unshakable – there is always an alternative. It may not be entirely pleasant, or even unacceptable, and we may reject it, but at least we will be aware that we have made the choice, and this gives us confidence.
15. Don't be afraid of novelty. You change all the time. You get new interests, new friends. If the current situation does not satisfy you, move on. Always be ready to get to explore, new experiences, find yourself in new situations. Learn, try new things, improve your education, read more. Show flexibility of thinking. Don't get stuck in your daily routine and habits. The more we experiment, strive for novelty, the more we grow intellectually.
16. Set intellectual and moral criteria for yourself. It is not contrary to the Council to have a flexible mindset, not a rigid one. We need such criteria. In the intellectual sphere, there should be a desire to deepen knowledge and acquire new ones, then you will always remain interesting people. Set high moral criteria for yourself, so that there are reasons to appreciate you as a person. In short, you should always focus on the best.
17. Develop comprehensively. We all need to be able to Express our emotions and have a lot of them; we also need to take care of our health, develop our mental activity. In addition, there must be a spiritual component in our life, which does not mean belonging to any religious denomination-it can be, for example, just enjoying the beauty of the world around us.
18. Be aware of your limits. Don't take on too much. Be prepared for the fact that from time to time you may experience failure. Forgive yourself when things don't work out. Laugh at yourself more often. Stop making excuses.
19. Look at yourself critically. Look at yourself in the mirror, think about what stage of life you are at. How old are you? What this means? How relaxed are you? How many positive emotions do you get? Are you overworked? What is your relationship with others? Do you like yourself? Are you satisfied with your sex life? Afraid of what?
20. Treat yourself well. Take time for yourself from time to time. Reward yourself, you deserve it. Pamper yourself, you've earned it. Give yourself pleasure, you need it. Don't wait for others to praise you, praise yourself. Don't wait for others to love you, love yourself. Don't wait for others to take you somewhere fun, go and have fun yourself. Have more fun. The more relaxed we are, both mentally and physically, the better company we become for others, the better we can cope with life and the more we can help others. The better we treat ourselves, the more likely we are to want to treat others well. When we are relaxed and friendly, others will have more desire to be near us.
Let me try to give a complete answer by explaining everything which i know. This might be little long and you might find more by researching. Let me just give you the basic idea of what all you can do. Please find the list below :-
1) Sleeping and waking up at constant times - schedule your body to sleep and wake up at the same time everyday and same number of hours. This will remove two problems - sleeplessness in night and irritation from alarm in the morning. You wont need an alarm if you get scheduled. You will wake up automatically. 6, 6.5, 7 hours of sleep is ample. Wash your eyes now after filling your mouth with water.
2) Wake up and without wasting time drink 2-3 glasses of water in 30 sec-1 min of interval. It boosts metabolism by 25% and helps in smooth clearing of stomach immediately. Mix 1 spoon lemon juice and 1 spoon honey if possible in those 2-3 glasses, it has magical effects. Strengthens your immunity system dramatically.
3) Now do Surya Namaskara or basic body stretches whichever you prefer. Eat breakfast or fruit now. Point is to have heavy breakfast anytime now.
4) Do you have severe stress? You can try meditation before eating anything. Sit down, close your eyes and just concentrate on your breathing. Just inhale, exhale. Dont think anything. If a thought comes then just put it in a balloon and make it fly, fly, fly. Let your mind be in perfect calmness and high mental stability, nothing can affect it then. Any kind of sound is there, let it go. Meditation is not about concentrating, its about letting go and concentrating only on your breath. It will take time but give 15-20 minutes everyday and you will feel the effects within 7-10 days. Best thing, it can be done anywhere, anyhow, anytime. Just close ur eyes n fly.
5) Learn being alone and being rational while being alone, trying to analyze your life and how can you solve different problems of your life and ppl you love or ppl u want to help and whose life is miserable than you.
6) Have some close friends, not many friends. Spend some quality time with them and travel with them.
7) Read books of your interest, bestselling, Write a personal diary of everyday and any thought that come to your mind.
8) Schedule everything on "Google Keep" , setup a reminder for the tiem when you will really do that particualr task which has been pending, dont give excuses like oh i forgot this and that or whatever. Just schedule yourself. Do everything. Dont procrastinate. Schedule it.
9) Read about human health and then analyze your body's functionality you havent been caring. Check how healthy you are. Check your biological age based upon your lifestyle. Here, take this up
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10) The first 4 points itself will change you from the person you are right now. I know its not a direct answer. But life isnt direct either. So ya, stop fooling yourself, start caring about your body and mind.
I'm walking around and I noticed this monk 10 years old who is teaching a group of 5 year old monks. I was fascinated by his ability to teach these five years old monks and conduct himself.
And i went and asked : What are you doing?
he said: Oh well, we just taught their first class ever.
I said: oh cool.
he said: Well, What did you learn in your first class at school?
I said: Oh well, I learned the alphabet and numbers.
He said: Do you want to know what they learned on their first day of school?
I said: Yeah, of course.
he said: The first thing that we teach them is learning how to breathe.
I said: Why?
he said: Because we're taught that the only thing that stays with you from the moment you born to the moment you die is your breath. All your friends, family, place you live in; that's gonna change. The only thing that doesn't change and stays with you from the moment you born to the moment you die is your breath.
Notice. "When you get stressed, What changes?" Your breath. "When you get angry, What changes?" Your breath. "When you're sad. What changes?" Your Breath. "When your happy, What changes?" Your breath. Every emotion is experienced with the change of the breath. He said when you learn how to navigate and manage your breath. You can actually navigate any situation in life. Notice how athletes were taught how to breathe. Musicians, Singers... They're all trained on how to breathe because they have to use their breath in challenging, stressful, pressure-filled situations. But as like so all of us, you've got to go onstage in front of 10,000 people or you've got to go to a concert or you just lost a deal or a contract. Our breath changes. In all those scenarios yet we don't know how to use our breath to change our life.
And so for me that was a huge learning point where I just thought, Wow that's what you're taught. The priority is the root of things not the leaf of the symptoms. And that's the biggest thing about living as a monk.
You're not dealing with your challenges at symptomatic level. You're dealing it at root level. People said, "Oh, if you are stressed, Just take a stress-pill, if you're stressed just go to get a massage, if you're stressed out just relax watch Netflix and chill.
But all that's doing is pacifying you escape for that hour, two hours or maybe a week. But going to the root of it and learning how to change your breath. Then you can manage any situation in life. And that principal- that's an example of the principal which is so much deeper, that always goes to the root. It takes longer but it lasts longer. But if you go for the symptom you get it quick and it never lasts. That that was the deepest principle I learned as a monk. -Jay Shetty.
You always go to the root cut down the root of that weed in your heart.
Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. -Hans Selye
Source: Jay Shetty
Tl;dr: Realize some stress is good. Do "sniper breathing" which is just a cool name for meditation breathing but do it in the times when you feel the most stressed, have an "off switch" so you can relax, and prioritize sleep.
Who says you want to "get rid of stress"?
Let's make a distinction:
Distress v. Eustress.
Distress is what you're evidently talking about--bad stress, the bills that you can't pay, the grind of work, an unexpected medical bill.
Eustress is less talked about and can be thought of as growth. You can't grow without some kind of stress. The weight you lift--that's stress on your muscle, but it makes you stronger. The deadline for that writing assignment--stress but it causes you to learn how to budget time and get something done.
Now that that's out of the way ...
Most of the answers here aren't ... ideal. Do yoga? Are you kidding me? Smoke weed?
I like the post but that doesn't work for me.
I happen to be in the roughly 10% of the population that gets a massive hangover from weed. That makes it a very not fun experience or relaxing at all for me because I lose a work day after a smoke. I could fix this if I became a "chronic" user and I don't want to do that.
When I tried yoga, all I could think about was, "Man, I wish I was doing something productive." I'm already twice as flexible as I need to be, and I know how to relax already and do so regularly with meditation from my combat training. Yoga had nothing for me except to listen to some "granola" woman talk about how we have to clear out "negativity" (what the hell does that mean anyway?) and breath in the universe. It was the stupidest thing I'd ever done.
Great if it works for you but I hated it.
Let's get to fundamentals. What do you actually need to do to relieve distress. Not a general "change your lifestyle" but a do this exactly and you'll relax.
Here are my top 3 tips to relax and handle stress.
-This is just meditation so nothing earth shattering but it'll come with some novel applications.
Basically, breath in through your nose (this pulls a bit of nitrous oxide which helps relax and doesn't happen breathing through your mouth), hold that breath in for a count of 4, breath out, hold empty for a count of 4. Repeat. Breath in so deeply your stomach expands. Do 3 in a stressful time.
Basically in stressful situations, your logical brain starts to shut down and more primitive brains take control. This is called triune brain theory and it's been written about before Triune Brain-A powerful training model plenty.
You can't make very good decisions under stress and that's usually right when you need good decisions. Instead, the emotional part of your brain will start to take over and emotions make us all poor decision makers. Look at any stock market crash as an example, we're predictably irrational.
Using this breathing method, you can force the logical mind to start engaging again. This has a whole bunch of reasons tied to your physiology and biochemistry but the skinny is that it slows your heart rate. When your heart rate slows, adrenaline and cortisol can start being processed. As those clear your system, your brain has more oxygen to process.
The cool stuff:
Snipers, negotiators, and bomb defusers need to keep their full logical minds about them. So they use this breathing.
I used this breathing for bounty hunting and anytime a fight might be a serious possibility.
I've been able to talk people down. One of my students talked her way out of a gun point mugging. And it was because we could calm down enough and make a logical call when others were crippled by fear.
SEALs and Swat team leaders use just a single breath as they get into a firefight or breach a structure--they actually do better with a higher heart rate and 3 breaths can lower it too much and cause a performance drop.
So use this technique. It's the most powerful thing there is.
I first heard it from a business mentor who told me "whenever you have a conflict, argument, or anything in your life, always remember to breath."
So if you're in a firefight or anything less than the stress of a firefight, this breathing will help you.
And that might be one of the best ways to reduce your stress.
Carried out into a practice, do it for 5 minutes / day regularly so that way you can do it automatically under real stress.
The off switch
Most of us spend our lives in this weird half on, half off state. And recent technology has only made this worse. No one can be on all the time, in fact, constant and unrelenting stress (eu or dis) will kill you. You need to relax as regularly as you need stress.
I catch myself doing this ALL THE TIME. Instead of trying to dink around on facebook and watch a show, just do one. Be completely on and in that activity. This is a hard practice but it pays off.
Then conversely, make an off switch. When you're not at work be seriously off. Your subconscious will keep working on it but don't force it. This is how powerful insights came to Einstein and countless other humans.
An off switch just requires a couple of things--it engages you, and it's not the thing causing you stress. So a couple tips say have a hobby, this is why. It's the off switch idea.
It can be a sport, it can be exercise, it can be a computer game, it can be reading, it can just be sitting in front of the tv next to your lover. It only matters that it's not the stressor and you're not trying to do 3 other things at the same time.
I always feel a little hypocritical here because I just pulled an all nighter over the weekend for a contract(let's chalk that up to eustress yeah? Ha), but you need to sleep well. Your mind is key to whatever you're doing. Being chronically sleep deprived isn't good for anyone.
Navy SEALs, the armed services in general, and I can say for a fact--bounty hunters are expert at being able to sleep anywhere. It's partly because they have to be but mostly because they make sleep a priority. They've realized how important it is. I'd recommend you adopt this.
With sleep deprivation of just a couple hours a night, cognitive performance drops by about 20% (high estimate, it can be as low as 10%). If you're just 90% of you, how well can you really do in trying to accomplish your goals?
Use sniper breathing in times of high stress, make an off switch, and prioritize sleep as you can. This is how you "get rid" of stress.
I use the below mentioned technique and find it very effective and useful. Try it for yourself and let me know if you find it useful.
Start by sitting in a comfortable position in a chair with your feet touching the ground and your hands placed lightly on your thighs. Now close your eyes and starting from your feet move your attention slowly upwards to the ankles, the calf muscles, the knees, the thighs, the stomach, the back, the neck, and then slowly to the arms, the elbows, the hands all the way down to your fingers. As you move up this way, at each point feel the tension in that part of your body melting away. Next, feel the muscles of your face relax, up to your scalp and head. Even the eyelids should be shut lightly, free of any pressure or tension.
Relax consciously the entire body, undoing all tensions in the muscles.
As you move your attention from feet upwards, feel each and every part of your body relaxing. Now imagine an energy flowing into you from the top of your head-the crown.
At this point all parts of your body should be totally relaxed and free of tension and you should feel energy flow into you from your crown.
Have faith on the suggestions you are giving above and believe that the above process is actually happening. You will feel the difference.