How to move on after living abroad when you do not like your home country

A2A

Without knowing where you were and where you have returned to, and without knowing specifically what you don't like about your home country, this is quite difficult to answer. It would also be interesting to know if you don't like your entire home country or just the bit where you/your family live.

Speaking for myself, I grew up in a fairly rural part of the northwest of England. At a fairly young age I started working away, further and further afield around the UK, then Europe, then Asia and Southeast Asia, then emigrated to New Zealand and now I'm living and working in Australia for a couple of years.

I go ‘home' infrequently and, when I do, I always love to catch up with old friends and family. It's great at first but quickly the doom and gloom sinks in and I don't want to be there. I see my mates living hand to mouth with no real prospects, paying mortgages or rent on property they can barely afford and certainly can't maintain, driving old cars and struggling through life - and I feel very lucky to have escaped.

However, that's just one part of the UK. There are other parts I'd love to live. The simple reality is that I can't afford to. If I could buy one of the staggeringly expensive homes but there'd be no work for me and I would still be living far enough away from friends and family to make visiting them a rare prospect at best. This was one of the reasons that I decided, if I was going to go, I was really going to go, regardless of distance.

Ultimately those decisions led me to live in NZ, which I consider to be paradise on earth. It doesn't suit everyone - there are huge numbers of Kiwis who go to the UK looking for a better future - but it suits me perfectly.

So, how do you come to terms with your own situation? I'd suggest you make a long and detailed list of the things you do and don't like about home. Then make a similar list about the place you'd rather be. Score each attribute marks with plus 10 being superb and -10 being the worst possible. Then total everything up on your home pros and cons list and see what figure you end up with. Do the same thing with the scores for the place you'd prefer to be. Then compare the results. The really important thing here is to try to be both realistic and impartial and to be balanced in your approach. Compare apples with apples, not passion fruit with sour grapes.

I'm not saying this is a solution - it just might help you to understand what it is you do and don't like and, more important, why you do and don't like things.

Trust me, the grass is not always greener. If you really can't settle down and come to terms with where you are, plan. We only get one go at life so work hard at making it the best one possible.

Good luck.


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