How did your high school crush end up in life?

Jessica was her name, and she was everything that I wanted at the time: Beautiful, kind, intelligent, family-oriented, strong-values, fun, good humor, well-read, christian, etc.

Only issue was that - at the time - she was beyond my league (or so a high-schooler thinks).

We met through a mutual friend at church, and the majority of our conversations revolved around life, god, purpose, and goals.

She and I would stay up all night just having conversations - and I opened myself up to her without ever telling her how much I cared for her (that good ole' teenage fear of ruining a special friendship).

Time kept passing, and we attended the same school for undergrad - I admit that knowing she was going to a certain college became a strong influence on where I wanted to attend college because I wanted to her be a part of my life.

Unfortunately, we had a bit of a falling out around this time.

I blame myself for the fall-out as I started coming out of my social and religious bubble... I joined a fraternity, drastically changed my social behavior, friends, activities, etc.

She knew me as one person and I became another.

Soon after college, she married and started a family.

We (randomly) ended up working at the same place after college, but it was a big enough work-place that we just ignored each other mostly until I took a promotion and moved to Chicago...

The family she started continued to grow in Arkansas, and she has continued to build a life there.

How did she end up in life: just fine and as to be expected; she grew deeper roots into what was familiar and got what she set out to obtain.

She's a great mother, daughter, and wife, she has a great career comparative to the limited opportunities her region offers, and she is a devout christian.

She and I reconnected a couple of years ago after crossing paths and decided to get lunch together.

During this lunch, conversation quickly drifted back to the subjects that were originally familiar between us and dominated our time together... only this time there was a new variable: I had changed.

  • She began speaking about god - and I told her that I'm agnostic/atheist (95% atheist).
  • She spoke about her kids going to a nice private catholic school, and I expressed concerns that she might be limiting their exposure to a single religion and that single religion's view of their studies.
  • She gave me an overview of what adult life is like in Conway, Arkansas - and though I went to college in this town, I've since lived in Chicago, San Francisco, the Silicon Valley, and have goals of traveling + living other places in the world - and I didn't comment but still felt sad that she was so content.
  • We discussed hobbies: hers were related to being a good mother, wife, and church-goer while mine had evolved.

Result: There was a time when I was infatuated with her and I was a certain person, and I'm no longer that person at all... we no longer have much in common.

What's sad is I felt like I was shitting on the person she had become even though that was the person she had always set out to be - I did this unintentionally of course - but the value I put on her in high-school falls significantly below the bar that I've set for myself today, and I believe that I unfairly still judge her through the same lens to boost a false ego.

It's as if everything that was sweet about our relationship now tastes bitter; her years ago rejection of me acted as a catalyst of change to transform myself into something too good for her, meanwhile she didn't need me to get what she dreamed of having - and honestly, I couldn't have provided her the life she wanted either...

She was able to get what she wanted in it's best possible version - really capturing her vision... at a time that I hadn't yet ‘come into my own' and still possessed a second rate confidence and character...

Even better, I would eventually mature into something entirely different from where I was, and my current self exists as a direct challenger and behaves as a ‘counter' influence to the lifestyle she chose to live.

Congratulations to her. There was a time in my life when I held very similar goals as her; while her goals came to fruition, mine changed.

High-school was a long time ago (I graduated in 2004) - but I still vividly remember and cherish the innocence and emotion of it all - it captivates me from time to time (like now, as I write this), and I wouldn't be who I am today without going and growing through it all.


My high school crush was my first girlfriend.

I was that shy-nerdy guy whose only aim in life was to top the class and gather as much knowledge as I could.

She was this tomboy who abused like it was second nature to her.

9th Standard was beautiful, it was when my friends realized I had this huge crush on her. And in 10th standard, when she was shifted to my class from another section, I just couldn't take my eyes off her. My friends knew more than ever, I was drooling over her.

So, my dear friends went and told her. And for two days I did not go to school fearing the consequences. Gathered a lot of courage and went to school, and amazingly she was there waiting for me.

I am sure most of you have felt that amazing spring inside your tummy when your high school crush responds back in a favorable manner. that first flow of testosterone figuratively colliding with some estrogen.

Damn! The first time your realize you are not that ugly or inferior after all.

She was the Mercedes Benz of cars and me, I was the cycle rickshaw prodding in Old Delhi.

She was like Corona beer, and me, I was Old Monk rum (I meant I was not that bad by saying that I was like Old Monk).

And then it all started, exchanging paper pieces with messages during the class, calling each other on Nokia 3315 that our parents owned, long walks without any conversation, and just smiling looking at each other.

Damn, high school crushes!

And then to summarize it all in a paragraph, both our parents discovered our love letters in our respective bags. We decided to run away, I ran from my home but she did not. Things were screwed up that time. I was sent to Bangalore from Delhi after all these incidents. Her parents changed their phone numbers, deleted her E-mails and then, a miracle happened!

Orkut!

Yes, Orkut happened and I was finally able to get back in touch with her. Called her after a year, lied at home, and went to Delhi to meet her, and realized she was already seeing someone.

Felt bad, real bad, cannot even describe how that feels.

She started lying to me after a few days to ensure I would get through National Defence Academy and fulfill my dream of being a fighter pilot.

Once I got through, she told me clearly she was lying, and she was in love with someone else.

Somehow, I respected her for that. She was considerate enough to not discourage me when I was preparing for NDA. After that, I came to know that the police had raided her house when I had run away from home, and how I had been responsible for the major downs in her life henceforth.

Slept every night of training feeling terrible about myself.

Got commissioned as an officer and was flying fighter jets, when depression finally got better of me and I ran away from Air Force.

She called me even during the period when I was in the run and requested me to return back and not spoil my future.

And me, I was just a blank minded guy filled with frustration, regrets and in denial of the reality.

I was eventually court martialled.

She completed her masters in design from National Institute Of Design and married some other guy. ( Not the guy she said she was in love with.)

She is happily married and is working as a fashion consultant now.

I wish her on her birthday.

I even wrote a novel which had a female protagonist named after her. It is a thriller novel titled India Shining.

I guess, she is doing pretty well now. I do not hate her, to be honest.

She did what she had to. And me, like a lunatic lover did what I had to.

We both were ethical and right in our own ways.

Edit 1: One of my close friends, the one who had actually told her in 10th standard forwarded her this link.

This was the reaction.


My story is a bit crazy. It all started when we were at grade 9. I have met this girl who is very cute, rich, nice to everyone ,and with amazing feminine personality.
I gotta admit that i liked her from the first minute i have met her. It's all because sometimes you just feel comfort and good towards someone and you know that this person is actually something worth it..
As the school started, she luckily was taking two classes with me, and that made it a good chance to build up and strengthen my relation to her. God ! I just loved when we sit and speak. She's is an amazing person to talk to, and we were both silly and ridiculous our own way, especially when we gossip and talk about people around, that felt nice. At the beginning, i expected sometimes that it might not go that well because she was way too richer than me, also from a different religion, yet we were just the happiest two students as we sit and talk together.
What i recall the most and was the best thing, is that we were always respectful to each other, we would never try to hurt or humiliate each other any way, except when we were joking of course.
Our relation together as i have felt it was going deeper and stronger each week passes by. Yes we were cooked at quiet fire but never for more than friends intentions. Just a friendship growing the right way, and everything was smooth, all because we were perfect with each other.
Her brother was a bit a friend as well. I used to always ask about her. Just to dig up anything about her. What she likes, how is she at home, her secrets, etc...
Honestly, any man in my position who wouldn't have fallen in love for her i would assume a damn stupid. It's gotta be like that between any two after some point, either she falls for me or i fall for her, and it was me to begin. I started really liking her more and more, thinking about her, really deep in love with her at last. I gave her even hints from time to time just to see how she reacts.
My mind was never at rest the moment i put her in my heart. I was madly in love with her, and i couldn't accept her as just a friend anymore. So one day, my friends were pushing me hard to go and admit. I didn't want to, cuz i felt like it's not the right decision. I just know she won't accept me as a boyfriend and even if she would, our relationship won't last a week, fuckin sure bout that. So yes i convinced myself that even if i admit to her and she says no as an answer i should be happy and great. Way much better than go through a beautiful relationship i know it has an end too soon. Yes we were right for each other but the circumstances around are all against us and it's not just the religion. There was her brother who doesn't accept a bf for his sister, rather than a friend from his own. Plus we were teenagers and kids and I didn't want it to be just a relationship and we won't stand a chance to something big. Timing is totally wrong but the girl is a golden ticket and nobody knows where we would end up in life. i couldn't rest at all anyway so i have agreed to go and admit what i have for her and if she says no and god i wish she says no it will be cool. At least i would take that pressure off my shoulders​ and move on.
Next day, i met her in the morning and i asked her for a little walk. It was my most embarrassing moment of my life and i was so afraid at the time but i have brought all courage i have and told her. She was cool when we were talking about it and was very open-minded​ but she said" i like you as a friend" after all. I've got little anxious in front of her then told her okay see you later and walked off..
I was happy when i left... Heyy she said no. Thank god. I even went to my friends and told them thank god all tension is over now.......
Mmm count to 30 and take another look at meeee...
The idea started invading me a bit by bit...and the moment getting serious. Take a nother look at what Happened... I got denied by the girl i have loved the most or i will love the most anyway... I lose my shit and go to the bathroom, starts breaking everything around . Another friend asked what's going on... I said just study issues. That was the first time i got that hurted and angry my whole life.
Same day i attended the class, i didn't talk to her, not even look at her though she sits next to me always. I can't disrespect her at any way but god i am mad as fuck and i feel i have no pride was left for me.
She tried to act nice and break the tension as what happened that morning but i just couldn't. . Get away from me... I love you girl like hell but please leave me alone...girls don't understand such situations for guys...
After a week like that she started ignoring me herself and i noticed that. I felt more horrible as i saw her leaving and fading more and more..... Few times tried to talk again but she acts weird with me...and it killed me twice...
God damit i feel like an attention whore... I am mad girl but don't be mad at me as well ....
This whole story happened all during the 9th grade. After that i have left that school and i felt more hurt. The story after is where it gets more excited alooot. But here i am after 7 years. I haven't met a girl better than her till now so i can't consider what Happened before as just good memory....till now its just unfinished business though it seems finished one.


As most of the story-tellers here, I also couldn't get the courage to talk to her but still maybe you will find it funny..

Uptill the 9th grade I was in an all boys school but my co-ed experience in high school was the best one I ever had in my 14 years of education upto date and going on..

I never cared about my hairstyle, uniform etc till then.. but soon i got adjusted and adjusted quite well. I was one of the popular ones in my class, mostly renowned for my long arguments with teachers and sometimes with other class mates (but respect was always there). So everyone had this image of me that I am always in full confidence to raise a point others would not even dare to think.

As time went by, I made 2 girl friends in that year, (one of them ended up getting engaged with the boy i once got into fight with .. one of the most bada$$ fights of the 10th grade and that came as a shock to me but i am happy for her) broke with both of them before the start of 10th.

10th class? New year.. full of excitement. I decided not to get into any relationship with any girl. It would be an all boys' year because it was the last year in high school (before moving to collage, according to our education system here). So this one beautiful morning, I am sitting in the classroom, near the window, looking out, towards the ground (class hadn't started yet) and suddenly my eyes froze up. Yes I felt I couldn't move them. What I am looking at is this beautiful girl who is slowly walking past my window. She had a mole near her lips which made her look very very attractive and boy, she had glasses!! (none of my girlfriends ever had glasses though i love them glasses' girls very much). I saw her going into section D (me being in A) meant her room and mine had 2 rooms in-between. I was only able to look her in the mornings before class and at full time. During the half time I had to go for my prefect duties which left me with no choice but to just look at her.

But i had to do something. So i gathered up my courage and decided to meet a classmate of hers to make up our link and convey my message to her. Before coming on to this topic, I just made a random conversation with him like we went Bla bla bla... and more bla bla bla.. wait? What did he just say? A girl? Did he just mention a girl? Who? Whats her name? Oh no!

Crushhhed! Thats it.. my love story ended even before it was started. My "middleman" was actually the "firstman". Me? Oh I was nothing.. but still I could look at her from my window in the mornings before class and at full time because in the meantime I had so many other things to do. *cries in the corner*

But the story doesn't end here. There is more horror. He continued talking about her for days that how they both met, went on their first date. And how did he beat others in queue (not actually beat) to get her etc etc.

That didn't end there too. They both hooked up pretty well. He used to live in my neighborhood so in some dull boring black and white evening walks, we chatted about "his" girlfriend. He even got her facebook password and laughed at all those rejected proposals of other boys who tried to ask her out via texts and some of them were even brutally ignored let alone refused. Me? I didn't even go past the friend request stage which was probably left in pending ones.

While i stood there watching him telling those stories, planning probably to punch him in the face but why? He did what most of the boys did. The difference was that others went ignored while he wasn't. So what should I do? Punch her in the face? But any other girl would have preferred the one with the car, (yes my friend/her boyfriend had one while i used to walk to the school) than the one with no ride to take her to some place for a date, so i think i deserved the punch. Because I should have still taken some step at right time.

But the time passed.. the year ended.. parties.. exams.. everything!

Got promoted to college.. They both left the institution. My father got transffered to another city and I left the 11th grade in the mid. And also left all the dark memories behind.

3 or 4 years passed by.

I got busy. New city. New friends (not like I wasn't in touch with the old ones)

I had bigger plans. I was trying for admission in med school so there was a phase in which i had to close myself in a small shell (of books). No hangouts. No movies. Not much mobile either. No facebook etc etc.

BAD LUCK. After all the hard work i still couldn't get admission in med school. I had to change my plans which i must say wasn't easy at all. I was having the toughest period of my life. (I have mentioned that in another answer)

But to get out of that shell, I had to change my environment so I went to my cousin's place (same old city). One day we were having a light chat at his place over dinner and I was asking about his university activities, his new class, friends' company etc, as our most chats go.. he told me about his new girl friend..

Everything was going so well. I was having a best night after a long time.

And there he suddenly stopped and asked me if I knew her, his new girlfriend. And i was like "what? bro? How would i know her? I have never been to your university and neither does she live nearby". So he clarified (though now i wish he shouldn't have) that she went to the same high school that I did.. i still had no clue so he showed me her pics. That mole near the lips!

Crushhedd once again!

Same girl, different friend, another story! But I played the same role... ah! Coincedence or bad luck? You say!


My high school crush was the prettiest girl in our small missouri town. I knew it, my buddies knew it, and so did every chew-packing aspiring trucker in my school. So when she began to spend all of her time exclusively with the physically under-developed, loudmouth class comedian (me) I had to put up with a lot of admiration and hatred in equal amounts. It was completely worth it however, and after a month of being ‘friends' I showed her what I'd been working on for months in a little black notebook which held permanent residence in the back pocket of my jeans. The notebook was packed with 500 entries, some were sentences long and others full paragraphs. Each one was something I loved about her. I figured after all that scribbling and paying attention to her character, favorite ice creams, and oddly adorable stubby toes, I'd get kissed right then and there. But then I found the first thing I didn't love about her; she could not make up her mind. For months which stretched into a year she kept me going, kept me guessing. Some days she was in love and other days confused. Most of the time refusing to speak about it. We dated all summer and winter and when I left her for college, I wondered what would come of such an angsty mess. Her indecision about falling in love with me kept her (and myself) teetering on the edge of a future together. Until I began to mature and realize just how truly selfish she could be, I told my friends and other prospective love interests I was waiting on a girl back home who was prettier than any other. Well, reality hits like a crumbling brick wall, and I soon walked away from her for good. Every time I happened to hear from her or run into her while vacationing home, she was excited about some new boy, or job, or big dream. Some days it was teaching music in Africa, other days it was cosmetic school, sometimes it was humanitarian aid in big cities. She changed her mind about the future as fast as she changed boyfriends. After a year of silence, I found out she married her first boyfriend from junior high, moved into his family's old farm, and began to slowly gain weight till she was unrecognizable. One day during spring break I took my little brother to my hometown Walgreens for some groceries. After leaving he asked me in the parking lot if I'd known the lady who scanned our food.

"No, should I?"

"yeah that was M-."

I looked back through the window and realized it was indeed my high school sometimes-girlfriend. I'd grown up a lot and now had a thick beard so maybe she hadn't recognized me. She had been one of those really happy customer service types. I hoped she really was happy, but knowing her, she never stayed in one place long enough to find out for herself.

Thinking about that time in my life, I sometimes wonder if that was really love. That notebook became packed with 600+ chicken-scratched reasons I'd fallen madly in love. But was it that or infatuation? Or was it young love and I'll never experience an emotion like that again? Who is to say? At that age (and any other if we're honest) romantic fascination can easily be misconstrued as love.


Around 10th or 11th grade, I was struggling to come to terms with my sexuality (or lack thereof). One day after lunch, I was crossing the halls to my next class when T and his friend suddenly called my name. T then shouted, in the middle of the crowded hallway, if I'd go to homecoming with him.
I was shocked. One, we never interacted before nor did we share any common friends/hobbies/interests/etc. Two, I was constantly bullied by the majority of my classmates and told I was "undatable". I nervously yelled back "I'll think about it" and hurried to my class, briefly hearing the guys say "oooooooh!".

That event put me in a nervous wreck all day. A guy just asked me out? Seriously? And a popular guy at that? Did he hit his head during football practice or something? Was he feeling alright? I couldn't come up with a reasonable answer as to why he asked me out.
However, this could be an opportunity. This guy was considerably good looking and charismatic. T could be a nice boyfriend. If I couldn't make it work with him, then maybe I wasn't straight or there was something wrong with me. Plus, it could end to people saying how "undatable" I was.

It was the next day when I overheard some of the popular girls talking.
They discussed that T would ask me out and I'd develop a crush on him. It was a bit off plan that I said I'd "think about it" but they were sure I'd accept soon enough. Then T would shoot me down in favor of someone hotter. Or maybe he'd lead me on a bit before doing it. In other words, T only asked me out as a joke and the popular crowd just wanted to see me hurt.

You know, I wasn't heartbroken or anything. Just pissed that these jerks would do something so emotionally scarring to a person. I admit I am a bit thankful as that event was what led me to figure myself out in terms of sexuality (I would find out about asexuality two weeks later) Still, their cruel prank did leave me feeling sore.
T and I had a class together. Two days after he ‘asked me out', he said he changed his mind and wasn't going to the dance (I found out later he did go and with another girl). I shrugged and told him ‘ok'. But I was still a little mad that he, a seemingly nice guy, was in on that mean joke.

It's been about 7–8 years. I open Quora and find this question. For whatever reason, the memory came flooding back. Now I'm curious; whatever happened to T? Let's search Facebook.
Not hard to find. He's a friend of a friend of a friend. Worked at a restaurant a year after high school before going to University to study science. Still big on football, judging on the articles on his page. Lots of pictures of him, his family, many friends (old and new) and his dog. So it looks like he's happy.
And the bullies? Whoever I could find is working part-time jobs or got married/pregnant after high school.

It's strange. Throughout high school, while I was tormented, I worked hard so I could show up at a future reunion, proving how this ‘loser' was now doing great things. Now, I barely care. I'm still working hard but it's for me. To quote Bob's Burgers...
"You don't need to show [them] you're ok. Just be ok."

T probably forgot all about me. That's fine. He seems to be a good person and he's happy with his life. Karma swiftly kicked the asses of all those jerks I encountered back then. And I'm living my own life.


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