How to deal with an overbearing widowed motherIf ever there were a reason to talk to a social worker or family therapist, this is it. Your mother needs to be in social situations with people who can become friends. You may need to make her cooperation a condition of giving her further help. No one is as effective at making us blame ourselves as our mothers. Resist. No one is as effective at a mother at confusing guilt-induced behavior with love and responsibility. You are resisting. Keep it up.
In the process of dealing with this, you will learn a great deal about doing the right things for the right reasons, and those lessons will extend to every corner of your life.
(If you do seek help, look for a licensed professional. There are some pretty weird "therapists" out there.)