How to help finding aliens
Um, assuming that "aliens" exist and have gotten here where you can "find" them, hasn't it occurred to you that they will find you, if they're interested?
In the meantime, you might want to learn the truth about actual, real extraterrestrials who have indeed "found" someone and have been interacting with him for over...76 years:
You can participate in SETI distributed computing.
Aliens are among us, hiding in plain sight. You can join the ever-growing ranks of vigilant spotters by exercising a keen eye for detail. Note these telltale signs of alien beings:
- They are able to shape-shift-the younger ones into disposable plastic bottles, the older ones into metal trash cans.
- They pay in cash.
- Their passport photos all resemble the pictures that come with a newly-purchased picture frame.
- They claim zero-point energy is a euphemism for laziness.
- They spell "relief" R-O-L-A-I-D-S.
- They text in full, grammatically-correct sentences.
- At Ingmar Bergman film festivals, they are the only ones laughing.
- They are liable to burst into Broadway show tunes at any moment-especially on New York City subway platforms.
- Blushing is optional.
- They believe the best representation of multilateral cooperation among the human species is Gilligan's Island.
- The ones under four feet tall rarely wear space suits, or any clothing at all, for that matter; the taller ones will only follow suit if they've landed in Sweden.
Q: How do I help finding aliens?
Participate in SETI@home! You never know...