How has becoming a parent changed your perspective on work and life generally?
Yes, having a child definitely changed my outlook on life. I no longer took chances while driving since I had someone else about whom I was thinking. Many things I would have tried before I had my daughter, but afterward was not willing to take a needless or wreckless chance? What would she grow up to be without a mother's guidance and unconditional love? Also, I didn't want to take a chance of doing or saying something that would embarrass her if she were to hear later.
In my professional life of teaching, I was probably more understanding of a child's behavior than I was before becoming a parent. "What if this were my child?" This is the question that came to mind at many times when discipline was needed for behavior problems or when a child needed help because he or she didn't listen in class. It's not that I didn't discipline; however, I became more understanding of the child who had committed the infraction and was more likely to give him/her the benefit of a doubt.
i don't think I know many people who haven't changed their outlook after becoming parents. Many times the ones who don't change at all are the ones seen on the evening news arrested for abuse or for other arrests that would embarrass a child. People who see black or white and never gray probably should not become parents. Most children will find the gray at some point that will drive a parent to the edge!
When I had kids, whole life revolved around them. As they grew, I had to refind my identity. Went back to work part-time.
There are times when I am torn between the need for self and the responsibilities of being a parent. When life is for kids then the latter always wins. Yet, taking care of myself fills me with happiness and if I am happy that radiates into the world around me, and to my kids.
Yet, when there is a kids play and I have work. And I am stressed about work absence, I am at the play. For the time will never come back. They want me there and that is what matters most.
So we have our crazy, funny, silly times. We have times when mum is strict. We have times when I encourage them to do a little for themselves. And overtime I am relearning to give myself time and space.
There is nothing more precious than their shared laughter and giggles. And there is nothing more precious than to value the awesome person in me.
The innocence and sweetness of children can melt away gold.
Children are so pure that they blindly follow their parents. Being a parent will give such a happiness that any one will forget their own life. Their need is satisfied if their children needs are done.
P.S . I am not married. I have seen my sister become a mother and wrote this.
Yes. I was a dedicated career woman before having children but I realized that children must come first. They are important, and when we put our careers first, our children suffer.
I waited many years to have children and can't understand why anyone would not make the sacrifices children require. Humans are the only mammals that birth and then send their babies off to be cared for by someone else. Breastfeeding and bonding with a baby require a few years of a mother's life, but the effects on the child's health and IQ are lifelong. Children are worth the sacrifice.
It changed my understanding of risk and where my barriers should be given children were now my responsibility. Ever other change stemmed from how risk works.