How much does love hurt?
Yeah it really really hurts.
Let me tell you my story.
It was a marriage of one of my cousin. She was the bride's sister. The marriage was in her house. So, I also went from my cousin side to attend the marriage. While attending there, I didn't knew what I saw in her, like it was at first sight. She was a little black but I really found her not beautiful but amazing. After seeing her, I asked my family members who is she and at last I found out that she was the bride's sister. Then that whole marriage I started to go near her and talk to her but as it was her sister's marriage, she was not living in a single place for a moment.
Finally after some investigation I found her name but still I didn't get a chance to talk with her. I was not trying to make LOVE and then date and have fun but like I was curious about her. I only wanted to know about her. She was like an introvert. She didn't talk much in that whole marriage. She was really a different type of girl whom I never saw in my life.
In the evening when the marriage was going to finish, I got a chance to talk to her. As I am a little shy towards flirting so I asked her
"Hello, will you please show me where the water tap is?"
(She got up and started to go for a tap and bring water)
I said "No, You stay here dont bother yourself. Only show me the direction"
She " Take a left from here"
I went for a tap and when I returned I said "Thank You"
Then she just smiled at me and said OK.
The marriage was over.
I went to home. and I started to search her on FB. I got here. She was 4–5 years younger than me. I sent a request.
In marriage I clicked a candid photo of her. I sent her on Fb.
After few days she replied. As it was evening when i talked to her so she didn't recognize me.
Then we got a talk as I told I am yours brother-in-law cousin. We started to chat.she used to get laugh while talking to me although in emoji . Accidentally, I asked her phone number and she got angry and asked me why you want to take my number. Then I told her that I got attracted towards you and i just want to know about you.
Like you girls behavior she started to show attitude but I made her cool.From that day on I didn't ask for a number again with her but continued to talk with her.
Maybe after 15 days her behavior on chat started to change. She herself used to reply messages at first. I talk.
One day she told that she is serious in relationships so wanted to know deeply about me. She used to ask about my past and I told her everything true. I said naa, I was not trying to date with her but I didnt know I really wanna talk and get closer.
After knowing about my everything she told me she wanted to meet me as in marriage she didn't notice me clearly. I also agree with that. May be it was 3′o clock in the morning, she asked me "Do you love me?"
I didn't knew how I said Yes I love you at that time but Ok. I said Yeah I really really love you from my entire heart.
She said she wanted to meet me. I agreed at that. Next day we met. I was a little nervous. I wore my favorite dress and went to meet. I was waiting her in the bench in the park and she came and sat a side me. We talked she didn't talked much. I was only asking the questions and she was giving the answer. She didn't asked me a single question. At that time I thought what type of girl is this? Is she weird or crazy?
And then time came to say goodbye as it was getting dark. So, she said "lets go.Its getting evening."
We walked together and when we walk she found out I was a little bit shorter than her. like i was 1cm shorter. And she said "I am heighter than you". I laughed and said nothing. While in the walk also she didnt said a single word.
We got home of our own and here I asked about her behavoir like why she was not talking like on the chat. she just started to ignore me like leave it. it It was nothing.
After few days I thought to propose her again as she saw me. So I proposed. In a few seconds she replied "My answer is word of two letters".
I was like Owww. I dont know what I thought at that time but, you can guess.
I know the reason too, why she rejected me.
She didn't rejected me because I was not showing love.I was not sad as she rejected me but I was sad for myself, my own structure.
I know we cant make the people feel the same way we feel towards them.
I know I fell in love with her beauty and she rejected me in my beauty so its not a big deal but from that day she started to show me a attitude like trying to show me like i am a desperate guy.
Till now I dont know whether I am still in love with her or what.
There has been the days I dont talk to any girls as I am not good looking handsome.
Sorry its a long one .
Love doesn't hurt your feelings, it's the expectations that hurt. Love is unconditional, if you love the person without expecting anything from them, I don't think it will hurt you. As they say "expectations lead to disappointments" Love is a beautiful thing.
In classical meaning of couple relationships love is bidirectional and giving is first and taking is second. In this case both sides sacrifice to each other and take from each other equally. And they sacrifice entire life term to each other and whole their soul to each other. In one direction love is sacrifice only or love without reply. When you give - you always sacrifice something important to you, usually some type of energy: knowledge, life-power, money, attention-time, food and so on.
To change attitude, standpoint and behaviour from selfish egoistic love to sacrifice or altruistic love is serious challenge. This is one big general problem of relationships.
You need to understand that love is selfless without any expectation. Only then you can enjoy love and not get hurt.
If you have seen a puppy or a pet dog, its the best example of selfless love.. Hurt him, hurl at him, avoid him and still he'll love you for what you are without expecting anything in return.
To be frank you will never be hurt in anything. You either win or learn. Same is the situation in my case.
We were in a long distance relationship for 3 years. In these years
- When ever I had a chance of meeting her I used to give up my plans and meet her.
- I gave up my dream of doing my masters
- I joined a department which I was poor in.
- I used to avoid my family and friends to be with her.
The present situation is
- I can't share mt feelings with anyone as I avoided my friends and family for her and if anyone of them comes across my feelings they will definitely feel sad about me but I don't want to trouble others
- She broke up with me saying that we can't be together for some bullshit reason
- I have to build my career from start when others have already achieved a good position
The best thing about me is that it isn't too late to be normal and I have already started to rebuild myself stronger.
This is my story. So try avoiding love and if you can't avoid it please love the right person
Depends on how you use it in your life:
"Love carries a great deal of weight because it can hold so much of our attention and that means utilizing a great deal of our mental resources creating abundant connections. A brief emotional response may touch upon a few connections in our mental web and have staying power only if the power of those connections are built upon great tragedy or other strong memory. Such a basic emotional response of frustration and anger at nearly tripping over the dog on the way to the car can create the space for zooming out of the driveway without looking and hitting another car. Imagine for a moment what the relational weight of a thing like love can do with all the memories and familial attachments and experiences created vast webs of interconnections. Imagine further all the behaviors it makes more likely to happen. Love is not in itself a holy virtue, but it possesses the possibility of enticing the best in us precisely because of the sheer strength or weight of its power in our relational minds.
The shadow of love, an often concealed behavioral potential that isn't life-giving, is a form of madness built upon thoughts of shame and self-doubt, compelling us to seek completion and healing through use of another, rather than dwelling in the open and awareness-increasing relational space of a new set of possibilities. This shadow is the underbelly of tangled desires and the consequent desire to see what is assumed to be the best in another. When such a desire is predicated upon control and built upon a need to possess rather than freedom of authenticity, the strength of love is pulling from all the variables in an experience that are connected to insecurity and lack. There is here the notion of "you complete me" or "I need to find my missing half," and so the associations are made with brokenness and behavior is created out of that space. Not everyone will go to outright abuse, but looking at love this way can help us see why someone can still use the term and yet act destructively and the subject of such still feel intense connectivity."
For whole article: Madness Is The Shadow Of Love
Love doesn't hurt at all. Love is like joy, a positive emotion that makes one happier than one was before. Having love for someone and being loved in return is one of the best feelings in the world.
That said, being in love leaves you vulnerable. I love my children more than my own life, which means I know that losing either of them would be horrific, maybe unsurvivable. Certainly I could never be myself again if I lost them. Love makes you a hostage to fate, which is terribly frightening if you choose to dwell on it.
In romantic love there is also the fear of loss. The possibility of losing the affection of the person you love is very real, and aside from the things you can do to keep yourself attractive (emotionally and mentally as well as physically) there is nothing you can do about it. I am head over heels in love with my boyfriend and he returns the feeling, but he can choose otherwise whenever he wants to. That's a sobering notion. I know I will do my best to keep our relationship happy and healthy, but that may not be enough in the end. It won't stop me from trying, though.
In short, love should not hurt. It should enrich your life. Fearing losing love is a big, powerful emotion too, but we don't have to let it overpower the good feelings. If it does, seek professional help.
For the purposes of this answer, I consider love to be a reciprocal emotion shared by two people in some sort of relationship. Unrequited affection can be quite painful, but it is not what I consider love.
It is not necessary that it can happen with love, even friendship can hurt you very badly. "Maximum friendship love and minimum love is friendship"
It hurts like hell and even worst. It is difficult to explain because it is not mental illness or physical pain but people do feel like it hurting somewhere. Somehow sad song make it worst. I would suggest if you have never experienced this please stay away from this shit otherwise you will destroy your life. It makes you feel like there is issue with you, lack of confidence and you feel like there is nothing left to with this life.
You feel like your life is a waste and whatever is happening to you is just another name of pain. You will go through sleepless night and restless days.
This song will sum up the pain and do listen because we exactly feel the same when we lost our friends and lovers.
There is answer but it is also a question for you:
- So how much pain hurts?
- How depression feels?
- How anxiety feels?
- How much jealousy hurts?
- How much betrayal hurts?
How much saying sorry hurts when knowing that their is not any of your fault.
There are many others way that loves hurts in. But it doesn't not only hurt, it can give you a feeling of happiness whether you are sad or feeling bad. But you asked only hurting points. Hope you understood the answer.
So if the Love is true and pure, then these hurting points are nothing when compared with the happiness it gives and so many other precious gifts. If you are lucky enough to find true love, then you are the most luckiest person.
Hope it helped.
Thanks for the A2A.
Complicated :D There's no correct answer to this. It varies person to person. It also depends majorly on whether you're with the person you love or not anymore. Love(more specifically, attachment) creates the wound and also heals it. It hurts immeasurably when the person you love doesn't reciprocate or don't understand you, but if they do, it gives immense happiness. Love hurts and heals. It's a package, a combo. You don't get hurt when there's no love, in a case like that you just shrug it off and move on, but when there's love, there's expectation, when there's expectation, there's hurt. No running away from it. My answer may sound like "drunkard blabbering", but see, I told you it's complicated !!
In short, love hurts as much as it feels good.