How should a divorced parent respond to an ex-spouse who refuses to help pay for their child's college?
I expected this is what would happen and I was not surprised. About the only aspect of our divorce that he actually did was pay child support and alimony. And that was because I had it done threw probation since he lied in court about where he'd be living.
My son was the first one who graduated high school and was ready for college. Despite the verbiage in our decree that said we would share in the costs, he contributed nothing. My son got through college through grants, loans and jobs. At one point, he had three different jobs at one time.
His first year I managed to contribute as much as I could. His second year, he lived off campus. I started paying his rent and generally a couple of hundred dollars a month toward living expenses. His father's contribution was to occasionally take him out to dinner.
My daughter was three years younger so he was still in school when she graduated. She applied to a school in Florida and we all but $5,000 worked out for her first year.
She called her dad who flatly refused to help because he wasn't consulted about the school. In the end, we couldn't work out the finances. She went to our local community college while working full time. Her dad used to moan about her working too hard, but the only practical assistance he offered was to pay for three credits. That was it. My current husband, who was living with us at the time, paid for her books more than one semester, more than that contributed by her father.
He used to tell our son that he would assist him in paying off his student loans. That never happened either.
We had one last trip to court around the time my youngest daughter was nearing college age. The agreement that was drawn up was that he had to pay 60% of her college expenses and I had to pay 40%. He tried to include how long she would be in school and what kind of grades she made. I objected to that and both of those were dropped. After a year and a half of school, she decided she didn't want to continue. My share of her expenses was about $2,400. I told her she could keep the reimbursement when she got it. Her father, on the other hand, called constantly to find out when he'd be getting his money.
And he wonders why they prefer me?