I am going through a divorce with a narcissist. We have a 16 year-old son. We text or email regarding our son. And see him in divorce proceedings. After divorce and child reaching the age of 18 do most people graduate from low-contact to no contact?
While my credentials may not show more than my education, I do quite a bit of advocacy work each and everyday.
Let me start by saying I don't hate my ex-husband regardless of what we went through. It was a nightmare of a situation. He left the state without telling me, we tried filing a Per Se Divorce (no attorneys involved) which failed to produce anything for 7 years when he finally agreed to divorce. I certainly wasn't as savvy then to understand what a mess I was in. And my daughter seems to exhibit developmental delays that often can occur when one has very severe dyslexia, which she has.
I am disabled as well, which is how I ended up NOT getting any child custodial rights. And my relationship with him is somewhat tenuous, but we do our best. Yes, we have to keep in contact, perhaps more so due to the fact that my daughter is going through some rough moments as an adult with other problems, and I don't think that her disability is "just the reason" to have to keep up with my ex-husband. What I do know is that I have great compassion for him and his wife who had to deal with the day in/out mess that was the public schools, etc. I don't envy their situation with things that have gone on with the situation. What I can say is I love my daughter fiercely.
Now back to reasons you'll need to stay abreast with your ex regarding your child regardless of age:
Many kids end up back home due to financial horrors they could not for see, as well as their own relationship woes that can lead them homeless in a moment's notice. We don't teach self sufficiency in school, and we should, including divorce. Just my .01 because not everyone gets out of a marriage in one piece.
Your responsibility doesn't end at age 18 to our children, which means talking to your ex spouse if you've had kids, regardless of age and time lapse of your connection with him. And I truly understand your concerns about maintaining ANY contact with a narcissist who will make life difficult, at best. Just be forewarned that the relationship between you and him will not go away especially when there are children involved.