In your experience, what are the most common transferential manifestations and reactions in patients with borderline personality disorder?

Some great in depth answers from therapists but if you'd like the view point of someone with pretty serious behavioural issues due to my BPD in the past, here's my two cents..

As you all know the very nature of BPD leaves us constantly striving to be loved or liked while having no real sense of who we are as a person.

When we finally realise we need proper help we may go to a number of mental health professionals before we find any use of one.

Usually the therapist becomes one of four things as far as I can see.

They become someone from our past we need to impress. Usually an absent parent. Lies, leaving out details that makes us look bad and trying to impress with how great we are really becomes how the hour session is spent.

They become an object of sexual attraction. BPD men with dominate aggressive even violent mothers can find themselves "falling in love" with female therapists because they are the first women to probably listen or make the male patient feel like someone worth listening to.. The hour here is usually spent on past sexual conquests. How many partners you had. Mostly talk about relationships as we want you to see us in that sort of light if you get me.

They become someone to practice our characters on. The therapist becomes the ultimate test of our lies and bullshit. This was my fav. Because we sometimes lack confidence in ourselves we see therapsist as super intelligent well adjusted people. The hour session become telling you lies. Observing your reactions and practising our new masks we may be planing on becoming in our real lives.

The last, to put it simply, is someone we hate. ( an old bully or abuser) If a therapist comes on too strong too quickly with harsh truths etc, the reaction can be one of aggressivness, hostility and in some cases violent outbursts. Sometimes the therapist will become the figure and cause of the pain and forcing a patient to look into his past can be so painful that anger and redirection of said anger will usually fall down on the therapist.

Having read a lot on how people seem to think many therapists refuse to treat people with this disorder I could fully understand the "lost cause " mentality. And having been someone who went to numerous therapists with no real results for a long time id have to admit that yes I would agree most will feel like lost causes.

What we are missing in ourselves we try to find in everyone and everything else.

Far better answers on here than this but these are the ways in which I've transferred and my experience from the opposite chair.


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