Is it normal not to have sexual feelings?
Yes, its quite normal to not have sexual feelings. Especially since you're just 20 years old, its the prime time when one reaches maturity in terms of sexuality.But i suppose that you just haven't developed feelings, instead you feel like you don't have feelings. Its a quite common complex in most girls and even boys for that instance. There cannot be any solid proof as to why you're not developing sexual feelings yet, but i can point out a few reasons which do in fact affect one's sexuality.
- We are Indians, and our culture and society forbids even speaking or learning about sex something as a taboo. So its no surprise that you didn't know about sex till late.
- You've grown up in a very conservative family (and overprotective). Indian households play a very dominant role in molding an individuals persona. Sometimes it even influences certain traits of individuals ,like in your case about not developing sexual feelings
- you've just learnt about sex, so give it sometime. Learning about sex is not like those manuals in Do-it-Yourself kits, where you learn from the brochure and do it right away. Let your mind open up to itself
- Sexual fantasies, attractions and desires are all feelings which you get once you are in terms with your sexual persona i.e you and your mind, both accept sex as a natural process rather than a ‘thing' and when your body knows, that it needs to find a mate.
- The fact that you may have learnt about sex through porn could be another reason why you would not have developed such feelings. Because sex is nothing like what they show on those sites. I'm rather happy that you were disgusted after watching porn, because for some its like a guide to sex but it is not..!!!!
So, cheer-up and don't consider yourself a person from another planet. You are from earth and on the right path to developing your sexual persona. Give it some time and nature will work it out with you. And always remember peer pressure (friends) will always try to catch up with you, so just stay away from bad influences/influencers.
If you still have any problems with understanding yourself, then go and speak with your mother. I'm sure she would be willing to help because its time you know about it. She herself was a young lady someday with questions just like yours, so there is no better person you can speak to. Don't be afraid, consult her in private if you want.