Should I procreate or adopt?
Adopt by all means! But - be sure it is because you want to provide a family for a child who needs one. IF you find that you have no desire to create children with genetic relationships to you and/or your partner, then adoption is a wonderful way to build a family. That said, be sure you understand that it is also not for the casual parent. Adoption is a journey - for both you and the child/ren. We have three.. all adopted. We had lots of foster experience and neither I nor my husband had any real desire to create genetic relatives (and plenty of good reasons not to actually) and I truly wanted to be a Mom for a child who had need of one. It has changed our lives dramatically.. we are friends with people we never would have met but for our journey to adopt. We have incorporated other cultural practices in our family to support our children... we adopted one baby and two school-aged children who were out of birth order, not bio related and from various cities in China. I learned to speak Mandarin.... we celebrate American, Chinese, Religious and Family traditions from around the world. We parent very differently than we might have - had we not adopted. We have to think of things like attachment and separation differently than most parents.... we have to be prepared to answer or decline to answer extremely personal questions frequently. We know we will be on display where ever we go.. both because our children are so beautiful but also because people make all sorts of assumptions about a family with two white parents and 3 Chinese children. We find this particularly acute when we are outside of our NY Metro/Suburban area... Every September I have to remember to sit down and write the letter to the teachers.. about how not every child HAS baby pictures or hospital birth stories or birth weights or other information that teachers routinely ask for in the name of silly class projects. I am working on this year's letter as I write this because this is the year the middle schoolers' study Pea Plants and Genetics.. and well.. My children can not tie their genetics to me or their dad.. rather their genetics come from unknown people who are all the way round the world!
I will never regret my choice to forgo childbirth and adopt. My one and only regret is I didn't do it sooner so I could have adopted MORE children. LOL (Don't tell my husband!) The journey has been far more rewarding than I anticipated 11 years ago.. and filled with such love and friendship.. so yes, if you can adopt. Become a parent to a child who really needs you!