Some life advice please I need help?
1.Just try to avoid Time wastage .time is way more precious than we can even imagine.time is luck ,they say!
2.eat well, sleep well, stay healthy.
3.if you think that you cannot achieve big things.start making small goals and pursue them with determination .as soon as you start feeling confident.take up the "big task".
4.take the harsh decisions.if you love something/someone very much but you know that they are the reason you are not getting there .let them go.yes you read it right.the feeling that you must have got after reading "let them go" is holding you back .
5.love ur parents , hug them for no reason, respect them. The only unconditional love you will ever get will be from your parents only.they all are blessed who have their mother and father with them.
6.Every Problem has a solution.just keep your will power strong, believe in yourself and you will cut through it.
7.help people in need.
9.dont drink and drive.if you think that's not a worthy piece of advice then you can Google up the consequences.
A beautiful speech by Sundar Pichai - an IIT-MIT Alumnus and Global Head Google Chrome:
The cockroach theory for self development.
At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady.
She started screaming out of fear.
With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.
Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.
The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on another lady in the group.
Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.
The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.
In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.
The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.
Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?
If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?
He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.
It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach, that disturbed the ladies.
I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.
It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.
More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.
Lessons learnt from the story:
I understood, I should not react in life.
I should always respond.
The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.
Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of.
A beautiful way to understand............LIFE.
Person who is HAPPY is not because Everything is RIGHT in his Life..
He is HAPPY because his Attitude towards Everything in his Life is Right..!!
Best life advice I have ever got!!
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair
1. Learn about food. Learn to cook. Cook in quantity and eat the leftovers later, or share them with others. Eat with others when at all possible. Eat early, eat often, don't eat before bed.
2. Learn about your body. Find the exercise that you love. Trust that there is, somewhere, somehow, an exercise you love. Is it bicycling, dancing, climbing, yoga, shooting hoops by yourself, juggling, skateboarding? Maybe you just like meditative walks around your neighborhood or the park. Playing the drums can be exercise. Find exercise you love, and do it as often as you can. Do it with others when possible.
3. Learn about stress. Learn the places in your life where you pick it up. Learn how to avoid it. Learn where it lives in your body. Learn the ways that work best for you in dealing with it. Don't worry about what those ways are- just find them and do them. Is it watching junky TV? Rocking out in your living room to music? I spent a while in my life hitting various poor objects with a baseball bat. It was therapeutic, and I'm better for it.
4. Learn about building competency and self-esteem. Read some books (read Quora for a million such book suggestions). Learn to value yourself and your time. Learn how the things you are good at can bring value to other people. Learn what you most deeply value. And then start saying no a lot. Then a lot more. Then even more. Walk out of situations that don't feel quite right. Accept the uncertainty of this. Walk towards things that feel unquestioningly YES!
5. Jump! You've got to dive into something eventually. Pick something and commit to it. Leave it only if you find something else that feels more strongly YES!
6. Tell the truth.
7. Regularly tell the people you love that you love them.
Are there other people at your school in your same situation? What year of high school are you in? How big is the school? The bigger the school, the greater the chance there are other people in your shoes. Also, the wider range of clubs that there are. There are usually clubs that cater to those who self-described themselves as you do. Outing club, math club, games club, chess club were where we hung out when I was in high school.
The one girl you talk could be the start of a friendship.
Are you being bullied? You have a right to at a minimum be left alone.
Do you have or voice strong opinions?
Can you get a part time job not related to the school?
Also, while you may have trouble talking to girls now, that doesn't mean you will always have trouble. Lots of 14 year olds have trouble talking to girls. You're really just starting out in life, and there are 100,000 opportunities in front of you. Maybe 10,000 chances to meet someone and become friends in the next 10-20 years.
When I was 17, I had my first date. It was with a girl I had liked in high school, we had been in the same math class our last year. I took her out and I think I was able to say 5 sentences to her all night. I apologized at the end. And didn't see her again. It all might start from inauspicious beginnings. But you honestly don't know how it will end up.
If it feels unbearable. But was it always this way, did you have friends when you were 8? Or 10? If you had friends once, you will have them again. You aren't the only one at your school who thinks they don't fit in.
My other suggestion would be to hang out at an old folks home as opposed to the bathroom. There are people all around who could be friends, or who may need a friend. If you are a friend to people who need friends, you will find you have many friends.
And when in doubt, consider getting a dog. They have needs, but they are constantly a friend, and the people at the dog park will be pretty cool.
- Sleep A LOT while you're young.
- Make sure you spend every moment preciously, because if you don't, you're gonna be regretting it like a dumbass.
- Make sure friendships and relationships do not collide with your education.
- Be nice to everyone.
- If you have negative opinions about something, keep it in yourself, cuz the last thing the world needs right now is positivity.
- Don't judge anyone or anything before you EVEN KNOW about them or it. If you're on the verge of judging, give this a thought - ARE YOU PERFECT ENOUGH TO JUDGE SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
- This might sound bizarre, but if you're a teenager, I suggest you to make as many mistakes as you can. But while making them, I hope you learn every lesson that it brings out of itself.
- Have fun and be yourself.
- NEVER EVER EVER change yourself for someone. Your friends and loved ones love you for the way you are, and they find it beautiful and unique.
- Never give up food for your crush, cuz that's stupid!
Thank you for the A2A.
The most difficult aspect of your situation is how deeply you are dentifying with the intensity and seeming hopelessness of your situation. You apparently are cutting, right? You find relief in pain, and oddly enough humor. Humor is ironically a form of leverage in itself. I don't think you realize how smart you really are. Humor is a form of self medicating in certain states of depression...Physical pain only feels good because you feel you can actually do something to change how you feel, and, it takes your mind temporarily off of itself and into the pain. But you don't deserve to be cut. You want out. But you really don't know what started all of this in the first place.
You know, its kind of sticky helping you without more context here. I don't want to be careless via missing information. I perceive that even inside of your pain, you are very insightful and intelligent. I'll tell you why. There were several things you said that revealed depth. As a matter of fact, you are so smart, you have analyzed yourself and arrived at the very root of your problem:
*"Sometimes i think even i dont care about myself"
*"I dont feel confident in myself sometimes and somtimes i just feel like i lost myself in this road that i took on my own "
*"Its hard to have normal conversations i just like to have meaningful ones because thats all that matters too me at.this point".
(You prefer depth over shallow. This is a good thing)
Emotional pain is a conviction of personal disempowerment. It is born of a conviction that someone, or something, had the power over you to inflict something upon you against your will. It is a conviction that something was forcefully taken from you. It is a conviction that you are living a life in which you must suffer all that it throws at you and there is just nothing you can do about it. Do you know, that it is this deep sense of disempowerment that is a great deal of the pain we suffer? That is because we cannot be disimpowered though we believe we can. That we can is an illusion, a lie. People have just not been taught how their minds work, or the power of their thoughts and how the universe responds to our thoughts. Nor do those who have not taken upon themselves the responsibility of finding deeper truth about life have a clue as to who they really are. This means anything can be done to them and there is endless blame to go around. This makes us the ultimate victims, the perveyors of endless self pity, and defenders of our own disempowerment.
There may be others that want to stick with psychology and can help you that way. That has helped people for decades to be sure. However, I do not find the limitations of psychology to be sufficent. I am a seeker of deeper truths about life and I have realized there is a far bigger picture to our journey than this one lifetime. What we experience in this lifetime is tied into the life we had before. I only hope that you can open your mind to new possiblities concerning what it is you are REALLY experiencing.
First of all, you may wonder how it is that our thoughts have power? You are not this separate little person with an ego in this big abusive world. Your human self is just a fragment of a much more expansive and powerful being in the universe. Our human self goes through a journey through many lifetimes to gain knowledge and become aware that we are not this human self at all, but an information gatherer and creators in this world. How we do that, is by the power of our own minds. Our thoughts have creative power. We are connected to powerful energy in the universe that responds to our thoughts. When we believe something, we are creating that reality in our lives. We are not these little ineffectual, dismpowered beings at all. We co create our lives. When we have deep beliefs about ourselves, the universe creates that reality over and over again in our lives. The experiences we have then teach us whether what we are believing is true by how they feel. When we are in alignment with our true selves, what we are experiencing feels good. When our beliefs and perceptions are off, we feel pain.
If you do not like yourself, that energy will manifest as others not liking you. We are the origin of our experiences.
When a person leaves a previous life with negative beliefs about themselves, they will have to deal with them in the next life. So what happens? They come into that life as a child and all of a sudden, they are being abused. Why? Because they left the last life believing that is what they deserved. This lifetime is a mere continuation of many others. The power of a person's own convictions about themselves creates experiences in their new life so they can remember them and deal with them in the course of the next life. We are never given experiences we do not have the strength to face. This is far from being disempowered, but we react to how people are treating us, and blame them. Then because they are treating us that way, we develop even stronger convictions that it is true. Then we react again. Then we seek a way out, but if the truth isn't understood, there is no way out.
The only way to heal, is to come to terms with how you feel about yourself and start there fresh from scratch. The past simply no longer matters. That was all the world reacting to a belief you came into this life with. So your job is to begin the journey of overriding your own negative convictions about yourself and creating new patterns in YOUR mind. When you do this, how others treat you HAS to change because others can only respond to how we feel about ourselves.
This puts the power right back into your own hands. There is nothing to change outside of self. When you change your mind, you change your life. No more blaming, no more feeling the victim, no more being enraged because now you see others are just parroting our own SELF TALK. With time and a new direction, our lives incrementally change, but no one else has anything to do with it. They can't give to your or take from you a single thing. How they treat you will incrementally change, but you won't need them to give you anything to know the truth about your own inherent self worth. You deserve in life all you desire. You are worthy of all love and joy. The only person you have to convince is yourself. The rest takes care of itself.
You would benefit from reading some books about the Law of Attraction, which expounds upon what I have described. I know Amazon has many books on this.
You would benefit from learning meditation and yoga which override the frenzy of the mind and gives it leverage with calm. These days, you can learn these things on YouTube.
Earth is a school, and we are all here to deal with the consequences of our own thoughts and perceptions. Reality if perceptual. You detect information, you interpret it, then you respond to your own interpretations. This world has no real power over you. YOU are the source energy of your experiences. YOU are the power and the power is in what you think, believe and perceive every day of your life. We just have to realize that fact. The truth is you deserve to be loved, respected, and all that you desire. Only you can take that away by believing you don't. We are all inherently beautiful, loving, expansive and creative. It is only illusions and misperceptions that create these problems. This experience is nothing but a teacher for you. Your soul wanted it so you could be the free, happy creator you truly are.
So I will again quote you:
*"Sometimes i think even i dont care about myself"
*"I dont feel confident in myself sometimes and somtimes i just feel like i lost myself in this road that i took on my own "
See how smart you are? A part of yourself understands more than you realize. Its time to think about that and start giving yourself a break. We are NOT defined by our experiences in this life. We are here by choice to learn who we really are. You are absolutely equal to anyone who has ever been born, and you are truly loved by the universe. These challenges are tough, no doubt. But we can do it. And you really can make sense of all of this. Trust yourself. Let it all go. Just easily take the next step. The next step is all you have to worry about....ever.
I hope some of this has struck a bell for you.
I know its a lot of stuff, but maybe that is what it will take to make a difference.
You are very young in age. lot of things are there to learn.
I am 26 year old. Believe me I have changed a lot every year.
When you reach 20s then you will realize that whatever you are thinking about yourself is bullshit.
"People makes fun of me at my back"
People opinion keeps on changing day by day.
You go and see what you think of someone when you were 10 year of age and now what you think of about them now. It will be definitely different.
If someone make fun of me I generally start making fun of myself.
Generally when you accept the fun, people will stop making fun as you are not reacting it at all. People start coming close to you as making fun of other easy but laughing on himself , only few people have the quality"
What you can do?
1 Try to find any hobby which makes you happy like playing any sports,guitar,writing etc and focus.
2. Try to help needy person even though that person makes fun of yourself at your back but dont except them in return.
believe me I turned lot of my enemy into friends by helping them.
As you are good in acadmics you can help other people who are lacking or need help. But help them if you really think they are needy.
If they refused to take help, say fine if anytime you need help you can come back to me. This will make open relationship with that person.
3. Spend time with person or place you feel happy.
4 Spend time with parent They are your best friend.
5. Set daily small goals(eg drinking 3 ltr of water).
benefits of doing this
- It occupy your mind ( vacant mind is always devil mind)
- It help you to improve every day.
- once achieve goal you will more confident.
- It make you healthy also.
6.FOCUS ON WORK, NOT ON PEOPLE.
7 Never give up if you don't see result
8 Last but very important breath whenever you feel stressed.
It is very famous quotes written in GITA (Hindu methodology)
FOCUS ON KARMA ( work) NOT ON RESULT.
Dont attach yourself with result
Result will automatically.
You very young.
Life will keep on changing.
If you have awsome life, it will be come down some day
If it is worse now it will be awsome someday.
Be ready for everything