What are 10 life lessons that you have learned in your life?
- Work hard at what challenges and tasks you are given. Everyone loves to go on about work smarter, not harder and I do agree but let's not pretend hard work isn't required to succeed at anything meaningful. The harder the work, the greater the reward. I learned this growing up rough on the farm. It's stayed with me and I plan to keep it with me to the end.
- Confidence trumps (mostly) all. Do everything you need to do to ensure you carry your confidence with you everywhere you go. Dress appropriately, learn to use words appropriate to you your audience, stay in good shape physically, spend the time to really get to know your customer, understand what failure is and don't fear it. Be constantly working on building your confidence at all times.
- You are not a pizza, you can't please everybody. Haters gonna hate, find your audience in life and speak to them. Time spent trying to convert haters is time lost forever and you are unlikely to succeed - and who cares anyway!
- Take the time to be in physically good shape. "It's not always necessary to be strong, but to feel strong." ― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild. Work hard on building your strength and one day you will wake up and feel strong. This will change your life.
- You are the average of the five people whom you spend your time with most. Be very careful who these five are. Take a look, if you are not happy make some adjustments. If you can't find physical people, find them via the medium of youtube, books and internet forums.
- Focus. Not just on tasks, and to do lists. Be right in the moment where you are with what it is you are doing. Put the phone away when having coffee with your friends, hold the tweet until later (it wasn't that great anyway if you forget), Facebook will be there when you get to it later. Utterly immerse yourself in the moment and focus on the activity taking place and draw as much out of it as possible.
- Center of control. For every situation and problem you encounter learn what elements you control, those you influence and those you have no control. Respond accordingly.
- Empty your cup. We make shortcuts in our brain on conclusions to things to avoid re-thinking. Sometimes we make the shortcuts because it suits us not to hear what someone/something in life is telling you. Empty your cup, relearn the lesson and THEN see if your shortcut still holds.
- Autodidacticism. Don't ever stop learning and learning doesn't have to be structured. What you learn by your free will, using your own terms will provided the greatest impact in your life.
- Embrace your multitudes. No one is watching you so closely waiting for you to slip up and fall out of line with your own value system. Give yourself the slack to try something out of the ordinary that you are curious about. I'm not saying do and try everything and damn with what the world think, but don't be dogamatic one way or another about who you identify with. It's annoying to others and you limit your experiences.
- Accept that everything passes. We want to dearly hold onto what we love and cherish, but we cannot. Everything fades, loved ones betray us, we die. You don't get to chose, you might be lucky, most are not.
Time to be philosophical!
23 years of life have been well enough for me to understand some of the basic rules to survive. ‘Life is full of ups and downs.' You must have heard this cliché line a lot. And I am no different. What I never realized as a child was that it is actually true.
These life lessons, as you call, have helped me pull through some of the recent times.
- Never trust anyone completely
100% trust on anyone is never recommended. Always reserve a margin of at least 1% for yourself. I'm not telling you to doubt each and every person you know. All I'm trying to put forth is that you should trust your instincts before trusting someone.
- Don't let anyone take you for granted
Never make the mistake of proving your worth to someone who doesn't know how to value it. If the other truly wants to be with you, he/she will know what you're worth even before you know.
- Don't lose your self-respect
This is an extension of the previous one. If someone knows what you're worth, they will never try to disrespect you. Even if they do, stand up for yourself.
- Be independent
You'll know when it's time to move a step forward and achieve what you love. When you feel you are capable enough to handle a situation, do it. Don't just sit and watch things happen. Make things happen your way.
- Don't expect
Expectations lead to disappointment. Let us suppose you have this very important exam tomorrow. You study hard and appear for it. Your exam goes well and you expect a good score. But when you see your result, all you see is an average score against your name. Boom! all dreams shattered!
- Don't expect anything in return
Help others whole-heartedly. But don't expect others to help you the same way. When you receive something from someone you didn't expect from, you'll be surprised and happy.
- Be responsible
Never blame somebody for your own mistake. Did a good job? Go get yourself a treat. Committed an error? See what you did wrong. Take responsibility for yourself.
- Respect those who deserve it
The heading says it all. Respect those who you feel deserve it. For others, don't disrespect them. Just let that person speak his/her mind. You don't have to pay heed to anything they say. It will never affect you.
- Don't share what you plan to achieve
I don't know the reason, but it definitely is true. For example, you tell someone you want to become an IAS officer. Sharing is good. But you'll notice things not falling into place as they should. Experienced it myself! Don't ask why.
- Don't let opinions affect you
You are what you want to be. You are not what people expect you to be. Like we all say, "Logon ka to kaam hai bolna" You are your own critic. Be who you are!
Not being more philosophical and boring, I'll end it here.
I read this letter at three sites first on Facebook then buzzfeed and then on bustle and think everyone should read this so here is that letter.
This is a note from a woman who dying of bone cancer at the age of 27 may make you totally reevaluate it. Holly Butcher, a woman from New South Wales, Australia, knew she was in the last days of her life when she wrote a letter summarizing what she learned from life.
She shared her thoughts in a self-described "note before I die," which she asked her family to post on Facebook after her death early on Jan. 4.
"It's a Strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It's just one of those things you ignore," she wrote. "The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming... until the unexpected happens."
In the letter, Butcher spoke honestly about her wish to live, admitting that she wanted to grow old with a partner and children "so bad it hurts." "I'm 27 now. I don't want to go. I love my life. I am happy..[.] I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands," she explained.
She went on to advise readers to "stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life" and keep in mind that death is inevitable - so make life worth it. She wrote:
"Those Times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It's okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people's days.
Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; [i]t is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that - breathe."
She pointed out that in the end, appearances matter far less than you would think, and health should never be taken for granted.
"I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I'm watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more."
For that matter, Butcher reminded readers that mental health is just as important as physical. If something makes you unhappy, cut it out of your life. "Be ruthless for your own well-being," she wrote.
On the flip side, she wrote that we should be kinder to each other and ourselves. "Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself," she wrote. "i wish I did this more"
Rather than throwing cash at material things, she also suggested spending it on experiences that make you or someone else happy. "It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. [sic] when you're dying," she wrote. Instead, "buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. ... Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them."
Above all, don't waste time on an unhappy life. "Have the guts to change," she wrote. "You don't know how much time you've got on this earth so don't waste it being miserable." She concluded by thanking those who donate blood regularly; transfusions played a huge role in prolonging her life.
But these were just the highlights of the post - Butcher's heartbreaking letter should be read in its entirety. To read it, head over to Facebook, where it has been shared more than 54,000 times. Don't forget to bring those tissues.
Here are my 10 life lessons:
1) Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
That Confucius guy really nailed it when he said, "Those who think they can and those who think they can't are both usually right". Perseverance is priceless. Success is a mindset. Believe you can do it and you will. Times get tough, but if you push hard enough, you come out the other end much wiser and stronger.
2) Stop trying to be friends with everyone.
At high school I thought I could be friends with everyone. In fact, for the most part I was successful in doing that. But here's the thing, I spread myself too thin. Guess how many of them I talk to now? Two. Pick your friends wisely. Check out my answer to my answer to What life advice do you value most? It's about choosing good friends and what to look out for.
3) Prune relationships that aren't bring any positivity to your life.
People who are negative are only making your life that much harder. Embrace positivity. Stop talking about other people. Gossip is the worst way to get in the shit. A strong and positive support group makes life so much easier.
4) Stop living your damn life online.
Stop using social networks. I'm talking about Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Stop using your phone at the dinner table (actually, any table for that matter). Stop playing angry birds on the bus. Talk to the people next to you, or at the very least, enjoy the view. Stop messaging friends. Call them for gods sake.
5) Let go of what wasn't meant to be.
Things don't usually go the way they're planned. Frame every so-called disaster in these words: "Will this matter in one week? one month? one year?". If the answer is no, forget about it. Move on. Life is about rolling with the punches. Bumps in the road often lead to something much more fulfilling. Look for new opportunities. All the time.
6) Fucking smile. Smile everyday.
I see so many miserable people when I go into the city. I'll smile at them and they look at me like I'm the weird one. ME! This really pisses me off. Be happy for everything you have. You have so many things to be grateful for. Your health. Your family. Your children. Your friends. Your education. In fact, here: 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life. I won't bother listing them all off, read them for your self. If you think you have nothing to be grateful for, message me and I'll tell you 20.
7) Live for experience, not money.
Travel. Spend time with friends. Spend time with family. Learn a skill. Learn a language. Write a novel. Read poetry. Love. If you commit solely to earning big bucks, you'll never truly understand what it means to experience the wonders of life.
8) Educate yourself.
Not just in a classroom. Research. Read. Discuss ideas. Theorise. If you're into science, read about history. If you're into history, read about the sciences. Becoming a well rounded individual is key to long term success. Also, don't forget: Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. Try to change the world. We have to give it our best shot.
9) Learn to say no more often.
Don't be a yes man (or woman). Stop promising things you can't, or don't want to commit to.
10) If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
- Everyone is unique - If my brother is a great programmer, that doesn't mean I will be one as well. If I am good in business, my brother may suck at it.
- Confidence comes from success and success comes from confidence - This is a cycle. When you keep getting success, you'll be inflated with the confidence. When confidence rules your veins, you're bound to work harder in that field and that makes you successful again.
- Expectations kills - Keep expecting enormous things from your husband and you'll never be happy again. Happy complaining.
- Competition decreases the productivity - If someone keeps thinking about the ways to become my successor, he will never think beyond my position.
- Money talks - People who say that money doesn't matter are those who are already having those green bills in their pockets.
- Past always seem golden - No matter what, you'll find your childhood as the best phase. For a working person, college days were great and if ask a retired man he will tell you about his working days.
- We can't please everyone - Forget it. There will always be a person who will never be pleased with you. Ignore such people.
- The company you keep defines you - It is a fact that your closest 5 people define you because you acquire all the traits of those close people.
- Every person is fucked up - Ask any person on this Earth; nobody is completely happy with his/her life. Period.
- We are much better in condition - We got to eat twice a day, with shelter and clothing in the hard winters. We have a great family and drinking water isn't an issue for us. We have never seen any wars. We have enough resources to surf Quora peacefully.
- Nobody loves you unconditionally except your parents. They will always do good for you .
- Your secrets are only your secrets. No one else would keep it a secret. Don't tell anyone if you actually want it to be a secret. I repeat,Don't tell anyone!
- Never expect anything from anyone because expectations always hurts.
- God helps only those who helps themselves. You have to chase what you want.
- Never compare yourself or your life with others. You will only see the bright side and can't imagine the hard times they have to go through, which leads to disappointments.
- Nobody is born perfect, Everyone has flaws. Believe in yourself. Be you!
- Tone of voice matters a lot. Choose your words wisely and tone smartly.
- 10 CGPA in 10th, 90% in 12th ,in no way measure your ability to understand things.
- You can't please everyone. If you are the juiciest mango ,there would be someone who don't like mangoes.
- Reactions and Responds aren't always necessary . Sometimes, silence do wonder.