What do you think makes you feel lonely?

I think the problem is not about feeling lonely, it is about thinking that if you are alone, you are sad! You can feel lonely even when you are in the middle of your friends in a room. Because it is what you chose to feel lonely. There are people who don't feel lonely even when they have no one around them. That's because they chose not to feel lonely. So it is what you choose to feel, it is what you think you have to feel, it is what you want to feel. But instead choose to not feel lonely, choose to be happy, choose to be the one that lights up everyone. It might be harder to follow and bring it into practice but if you try hard and if you genuinely try, definitely you will be what you think you are. If you think you are happy, you will feel happy. If you think you are excited, you will feel excited. What you feel, deeply comes from what you think! So develop positive thoughts, keep thinking positive things and you will feel all positive things in life.


Loneliness is like being hungry for company or friendship. It's a natural urge for humans because we are social creatures. We like connection, indeed we thrive off connection. Some would say life is all about relationships. Life can seem to have little meaning without these relationships. One thing we get from relationships is understanding. Being understood and accepted (even respected and appreciated) is the psychological equivalent of getting air and sustenance. Social connection is good for your mental health, and social isolation is often a precursor to depression.

Look at the opposite for example. Have you seen the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks? What happens to him when he is isolated for many years? Basically he goes nuts. He talks to himself constantly while projecting an outside personality onto the Wilson ball. Just exising on his own, he lost his sense of purpose and tried to kill himself. Sometimes people can feel like that even in the midst of a big city.

On a spiritual level, the personalist philosophers would say that inter-personal connectivity in relationships is the natural state of the inner life force and therefore it's indelibly implanted in the consitution of our being. Feeling lonely is thus the natural expression of your soul. And therefore just making some mental attitudinal adjustments will not help.

Finally, I can recommend you look to remedy the situation. Don't just suffer in silence. Have you ever heard of a website called Meetup.com? It probably exists where you are. Have a look - it's where people with all manner of shared interests can find common ground and literally meetup. It might be bushwalking, movie-going, board games, computer geeks, whatever... Otherwise, think about something you're interested in, some hobby, and find likeminded people. I hope that helps.


I believe those who do not like who they are, who do not have goals, ambitions, who require the approval and attention of others to give value or importance to their lives. These people do not feel important or of value themselves so they seek it from others.

I am never lonely, never have been, never will be. I am secure, confident, extremely independent and an introvert. There has never been a time I needed anyone other than my parents at a young age, even then I did not need their love, comfort, strength, company or their touch. My dad died when I was 3 and I did not cry for him or really miss him at all.

I like my own company, always have, I always have something to do and can find something to occupy myself literaly anywhere. I am quite comfortable alone, once in a while I desire to be with someone, but I do not need to, friends I have and are unbelievably easy to acquire, getting rid of them the obligations and the drama that comes with them is what is hard.

Until my late forties I had girl friends but never lived with anyone until I then married and had kids. 10 yrs later I am devorced, no regrets, I have two beautiful daughters because of it, single again and not anxious to get into any more drama though.


Feeling lonely is when you are present with a person and his/her presence does not make much sense. He/she makes u feel alone even though they are with you.

It's when someone misses you after you left but you were not enough for them when you were with them. It's when there is lack of understanding between two people.

It's when you give your 100% but still your efforts are not sufficient enough for the opposite person and they leave you.

It's when your messages and calls are ignored for no reason.

It's when you are in one sided love and you love a person without any expectations.


The desire of wanting others to feel, to understand or to connect with us is the root of feeling lonely.

Rid of the desire and you will need not to feel lonely anymore. But the feeling serve as a purpose telling us we have such desires or expectation in life. Once you have recognization of this, your awareness shines through like blowing leaves on a table.

If you can live alone and having learned how to cope if the loneliness feeling, you become a very very powerful and peace will be within you.

So, see carefully in your mind and learn to be aware of the root of each emotional situations (not problems).


I'm a talkative person. In my college days, I used to talk with friends continuously. We had conversations that went 2 to 3 hours on some days. After college, I got a job in one startup company.

I shared a room with my senior colleagues. All things changed suddenly here. All of my roommates talk barely with me. They talk very less even though I initiated conversation. They all spend time with their mobiles and gadgets. This makes me lonely here. Slowly I'm changing to this routine.

Thank you


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