What does silence teach you?

I need silence, cause I have been long deprived of it, my mind needs to recover and grow - which had been a battle field for a long - long time.

For the most part of my life I was afraid of silence, silence for me was a dark place, it was a place of unknown, so I kept filling it with noises - to be free of the dead silence, so much and so often that it went beyond my control, the very noises that were meant to protect me - became my demons.

For a long time - I forgot what silence felt like. . . .

When I was little, I would yell and sing loudly while running back home from the bakery at night, The yelling was meant to scare off any evil spirits that'd come out lurking when its dark and silent.

Strategically enough, when I grew up, I used the same old trick - whenever I encountered their dead and hollow silence, when my questions went un-answered, I'd create my own reality, dwell in it endlessly.

It started out as a happy place but soon it all went down, my own creations took their own personalities, as the days went-by, they multiplied and became meaner - told me horrible things and vowed that I got what I deserved.

They now lurked in my mind all the time, thoughts were always racing in my head uncontrollably.

I knew it wasn't healthy, it wasn't "normal". I just needed them to stop, I desired nothing more than to be able to lay under the sun and enjoy its warmth, gaze at the stars, read a book without having millions of thoughts, enjoy the September air, make new memories. . . .

I just needed Silence, nothing else....

So I began sharing, talking, and this time not with myself - but with actual people. began Writing and not just writing in my password protected word document, but openly - where other eyes could see them as well, shared intimate things, things that I cared about, things that made me sad, Happy.

With humiliation at stake and a possibility that no one would care, or just down-right judge me - but I had nothing to loose, so I went all in!

And it worked ! the voices quiet downed, at least most of them were gone. I needn't rely on them anymore to be heard, to seek answers, needing their validation.

I am free of the noises, I could be on my own, enjoy silence in all its serenity.

I don't take silence for granted! cause I fought for it and I am not letting it go. Ever!

Original answer to: Why is silence important to you?


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