What experience changed the way you think now?
Well writing my first stuff on Quora on a running train. So edits are more than welcome.
After completing the four years of best time of my life i.e my engineering days finally I was placed in a company and was ready to explore the corporate life. Being a fresher I was like a fire ball ready to burn all the obstacles that come my way. So it was the month of July finally I entered in to one of the biggest groups in India for steel manufacturing. I joined there as a Graduate engineer trainee. Being a 22 year guy starting his career I was completely filled with lots of energy and curiosity to learn things and explore the industry. In a span of few days I got used to with the new routine. So it started with 6 in the morning (as I woke up) after that I got ready for office and reach there by 9 as intially I was having general shift. New faces, new accent seemed so fascinating. I met lots of people who were actually working so hard to make their livings. For a moment I considered them as robots and got frustrated with in a very small period of time and started scolding myself for getting myself in that situation. And it was pretty obvious for a guy who used to have a royal Enfield during his college and was pampered by his parents for 22 long years so that he had not yet washed his single underwear by his own.
Well! It was 45 days now. I was very casual with that job and I used to take unnecessarily leaves for any shitty reasons as I was allowed to take certain number of leaves in one year. So one fine day I met "Rao ji", Srinivash Rao, a helper in that plant. A guy who probably is my father's age, a short South Indian guy with evergreen smiling face. I still remember everyday when I used to enter my department he was the first one to greet me with smile saying " Aur saheb! Thik Hain?" that means how am I doing. And I used to reply with a dull face "Bas kat rahi Rao ji."
Eventually days passed and oneday I was in night shift , I was struggling with my safety shoes because my feet was being hurt inside that as I had to put on that shoes for 8 hours. So suddenly there was that old man with a sleepy eyes was struggling to sit somewhere as I sat on his desk in order to settle my shoes. Suddenly I noticed his safety shoes , that was completely in it's death bed , from that Rao ji's ankle was being popped up. Gradually we started having a conversation and I told him that my feet was being hurt inside that shoes. And also asked how did he manage to put on that shoes for so long. So he said he had been putting that shoes on for last 18 hours as his shift was 12 hours long unlike mine 8 hours. And he was doing double shift that means he had been working, walking, doing all the stuff for last one day. Still he was so full of energy that was complimented by his evergreen smile. I was completely shocked. Then I started chatting with him more. He told me about his life experiences and how he managed to end up there. Then I asked him about his family. He said he doesn't have any children. He and his wife live on an earning of 11k INR. I felt very bad for him. Then I asked what would he be doing after the 24 hours of shift. I thought he would probably be sleeping. Then he said with a smile " Saheb! Mereko tv dekhne ka bahut shauk hai ; TV dekhta hoon phir khana kha ke sota hoon. Lekin Saheb TV kharap ho gaya hai use avi repair karaunga , aur TV dekhunga aur phir sounga." He meant he was very fond of television. As his television was to get repaired so he would get that repaired and watch television then only he would sleep after his lunch. I don't know whether I am dramatizing things or something like that. But I felt numb. I did not know what to say. There was a kind of innocence , happiness , satisfaction on his face while saying that.
I don't know after that night there was something that really pissed me off about myself. And it was my inability to choose. I learnt one thing that night that " happiness is a choice." I should be thankful to God for what I have and just keep going and stop complaining. Because life is beautiful. (:
I spent 3 months at that work place. And after that night I started doing my job on a serious note. I started going to the plant even on my weekly off days and changed my dull face in to a smiling one by replying their greetings by saying "Sab badhia!" ,means "All good!" . (:
I don't know whether this experience made me a better human being or not but at least it made me capable enough to share my Rao ji's story here. (:
This is Rao ji's picture I took that night around 3 A.M by saying him that you look hero Rao ji. And as a result he replied " To ruko mereko smile karne do".
Abusive Relationships :
This morning, as I sat down at my desk with a cup of tea, few ugly memories from my past came to give me a surprise visit.
There was a woman in my neighborhood whose husband used to beat her every now and then. I cannot forget her face with blue spots and swollen cheeks which worked like two small mountains for her river like tears.
Reasons ranged from daring to speak against the abuse to making the food more or less salty. He even beat her for not applying enough pressure on his legs while massaging him.
In the beginning, she cried, cursed, fought and went back to her parent's house. "Pihar", the women of my mohalla used to say.
Even if you do not have a Sasural, Do you still call your home "Pihar"?
They sent the bird back to the horrible cage she tried to escape and gave reasons of social pressure and what not.
The scene got repeated a few times until she gave up the hopes of going somewhere for help.
Meanwhile, few years passed and she had two children now. As he got crueler, she got more helpless.
One night, he broke her legs and left her crippled.
Lying on the bed, she made herself believe that she deserved all that suffering. She started to believe that she was too ugly and weak and questioned whatever good things she was left with.
Whenever I visit my hometown, I see her around. Her face full of wrinkles and the faded scars. Sometimes, I wonder if she had made peace with her life or was still fighting with whatever strength she had left inside her.
Later, I came to know that she was not alone, the world is full of such wolves who kill their partners with one bite at a time, one piece at a time.
Let me quote Al Pacino here with some changes-
" I've been around, you know? And I have seen people, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there isn't nothing' like the sight of an amputated spirit; there is no prosthetic for that."
I want to tell all the people who are suffering in their lives and who believe that they deserve all that.
No! you deserve better. You deserve to be loved.wildly, passionately and deeply. You deserve to be respected and accepted.
You say you do not deserve all that. Why?
Because some people are just terrible human beings and terrible people do terrible things. If you are not able to understand their ways, means you are not one of those terrible people.
Stand and fight. Be strong.
I was studing in class 12 in the most reputed school of my district. I was the most promising student of the school. Even the teachers were pretty much sure that i am going to top the state-level list in upcoming CBSE Board exams. I was never said to even attend the classes as teachers were sure that im going well with my self-studies.
And the results were announced. I scored only 2 marks less than a girl of my batch , who ranked first in our district . She just came from nowhere. I scored poor in Hindi , which was not expected as i was equally good in Hindi too.
Everyone was laughing at me behind my back. Even the teachers started taunting . Those mistakes ,which were childish acts previously , turned to be blunders. Noone even tried to interact with me those days except mumma and papa. They were also not happy with me. I was facing criticism from all around.
Finally , i decided to prove myself . I worked hard for one more year for JEE. People were constantly saying to my parents to think about my future and to get me into some prestigious private B.tech Institute. Only my parents showed their faith in me .
And finally i got a 3 digit rank in JEE ADVANCED .
Same people were there to congratulate my father with the words.. "Are hame to pta hi tha , aap ka beta nikal dega". Same people were saying that they were assured about my success.
That day , i realized. People are with you even if you are successful. Noone , except your family, is going to support you during your hard times.
So if you want to achieve some great things in your life then don't get hurt by what people say about you and your failure. Just take it as a motivation. Let the world see your limits . Shut their mouths up by your achievements.
It is well said-"Success is the best revenge."
I used to have this friend call her Tina. I and Tina were very close and tell each other stuff. we have come along way together. but this year i felt that i was giving too much into making our friendship work so i decided to withdraw after we had a bit fall out.
she never reached out even when i did she ignored me. although we have come a long way i told myself i was not going to reach out to her again and stay on my lane. This was a difficult decision to make but i did anyway.
All i'm trying to say is, if they want to go let them go. learn to grow and develop yourself. stick your head out for those who are willing to do same for you.
I have learnt not to make a fuss about something or push too hard because i realized that people come and go and same as things in our lives and that we should only make effort to keeping the people and things that are actually worth it.
Always be open to growth and don't be afraid of it.
just as moth good people are attracted to light and you will attract them. i'm not saying she was a bad friend, all i'm saying is maybe her chapter in my life has ended.
Not a single experience, but a long chain of revised thinking brought on by healthy and vigourous debates with smart people.
My current thinking is that philosophy is extremely important. I think people should concentrate less on the opinions of others particularly the trite ("save the whales, man"), the fashionable ("did you just assume my gender?"), and the emotion-driven ("but animals are so cute - how could you eat your fellow creature?") and more on forming a core set of consistent philosophical beliefs which they then try to live by. The key to this is the consistent part. I don't think it is possible, for example, to believe simultaneously that you should love your neighbour, and that homosexuality is evil. Or that all life is sacred, and eat meat. Or that all people are free to choose and that all people are their brothers' keeper. I still have a few conflicts to iron out, but I'm getting close I think.
I also think it's important to acknowledge imperfection and chaos, and realise that because of that, there is no utopia, and anyone claiming to have "all the answers" is just plain dishonest, or extremely naive.
These conclusions are the way I think now. They are mutable, as all beliefs should be, but they will only change on the basis of evidence that they are incorrect, or flawed.
Well to be honest a lot of things actually. I'll try to focus on the most recent one..
I'm preparing for an competitive exam which makes me to stay in my house for the entire day. You can call it a house arrest. I've lost contact with the outer world. It's been almost 2 months since I haven't stepped out of my house. This brought a lot of changes in me, some positive, while some are brutally negative.
This experience taught me a lot of things like you understand the true value of your close ones once you are away from them for a such a long time. You get to know about the people who really care about you and want to stay in touch. Your thought process completely transforms. You start looking at things and have a different outlook towards the world altogether. Staying all by yourself gives you a chance to explore yourself to the fullest. I am now more independent, though not so emotionally strong but yeah.. I have started giving everything a second thought which wasn't the case before.
Mind you this experience of staying alone for almost 2 months and not stepping out of the house and completely transformed me into a different individual. Most importantly, I think before I speak :)