What life lesson changed you the most?
I learned to trust my instincts.
We had just arrived home from a 16-hour flight, followed by a two-hour drive due to traffic. My husband brought the luggage in while I grabbed the baby car seat with our ten-month-old fast asleep. As I unbuckled her seatbelt, my hand touched the baby's skin slightly. She felt warm so I asked my husband to feel her forehead. "She's fine, we were in the car for two hours and she was sleeping. I think she's fine." She was our first so we were learning as we went. I pulled her out of the car seat and began to take off some layers of clothes. She still felt warm.
"Can you grab the thermometer from the medicine cabinet." My husband complied and within seconds, an alarming 104.3 was recorded on the thermometer. "Please grab the Tylenol or Advil. This is really high."
My husband ran back to the medicine cabinet. He ran back with the syringe and as soon as he pushed the liquid into her mouth, she opened her eyes, and within seconds, projectile vomit flew all over the room. We both panicked. My husband made his way back to the kitchen to grab paper towels and Lysol while I began to undress her some more.
"We have to call her pediatrician. I think she threw up all the medicine. I am not sure if we can give her..." all of a sudden my daughter's eyes rolled back and she began foaming at the mouth. Slowly, her lips started to turn blue. I screamed "Call 911". My husband froze. His cell phone was in his hand but he could not move. His eyes were fixed on the baby's lifeless body.
"Call 911", I screamed louder. Our front door was still open so I ran out to our front yard. I laid her on the grass and began to feel inside her mouth to see if she was choking on some more vomit. I tried my best to remember my CPR class from my college days and began to perform CPR.
After what felt like an eternity (but what apparently was somewhere between 40–60 seconds, she began to cry and we could hear the sirens from a police car getting closer. A policeman ran towards her and began checking her, at which point I collapsed on the grass right next to her.
The ambulance was there within a minute and we took her to the hospital. After a series of tests, they determined that she had a UTI that led to the fever and resulted in a febrile seizure. Further testing revealed that a sphincter muscle in her bladder was not fully developed and would allow urine to flow back up and hence result in the UTI. She had to stay on medication until the muscle was fully developed (took close to a year). We had to watch her closely and monitor any slight fever so as to avoid another febrile seizure.
Fast forward 8 months later: we were playing with our 16-month-old, when all of a sudden I notice that she had a blank stare on her face. I called her name, no response. I turned to my husband. "Go grab the thermometer." I ran to her, held her in my arms and within seconds she was out again - her eyes had rolled back, but no foaming this time. Within seconds she was back. "Grab her diaper bag and let's get to the ER. I'll call her pediatrician on the way."
What we found out was that we needed to use suppositories to quickly bring her temp down. Within four months, her sphincter muscle had fully developed and we no longer had any issues with UTIs, fevers or seizures. Lesson learned. Always trust your instincts. Better safe than sorry!
Listen to the little voice...
Three events happened to helped me get on the right road:
First- It was 1978 and I was 24 I had spent 3.5 years of pre-med studying to be a doctor. While in the lab, my eye caught a little window on a fire escape door. Through it, I could see a tree branch shimmering in the sun, dazzling. A voice said, "If you're not careful you could spend of your life in here, and not out there."
Second- At that time philosopher, Joseph Campbell was on PBS talking about "Following your bliss".
I thought back to when I was deliriously happy. It did not matter what I was actually doing. I thought of the day my little brother, 8, and I sold hats to the visitors at Graceland. I was the one year after Elvis's death, August 16, 1978. My dad was a small business entrepreneur. He said, "There must be 50,000 fans down there, go sell them something, I'll watch on TV". I said OK you're on. Sam and I sat on the curb and watched the long line across the street. A brilliant woman was selling a single rose for $10. Suddenly, an ambulance arrived. Someone fainted from heat exhaustion. I grabbed Henry by the hand and we drove the Surplus City. We bought every wide-brimmed Mexican style hat for $1.50. Stacked them on Henry's head and went in the crowd. You had to have a solid $5.00 bill. I held on to your wrist, took the money, put a hat in your hand and let go of your wrist-that how many people were on me for a hat. Now that was FUN!
The third event happened while I was getting a Coke at the machine between graduate school classes. A man came up to me and asked me what I was going to do when I graduated. He and I had debated in class. He was an old guy (like I am now). He asked if I would like a job at Schering-Plough in Memphis (Maybelline, Coppertone, Dr. Scholl's). Turned out he was Senior VP for Finance and Operations getting his PhD. He said it was for a Brand Manager. I had no idea what that was. I went to the library and looked it up (all paper then).
It was a bolt of lightning.
I could solve problems for millions of people across the nation. I could also work with chemists, lawyers, engineers, sales people, and artists. Together, we would build the solution.
That was 40 years ago. https://www.linkedin.com/in/rdfa...
None of this would have happened if I had not listened to that little voice in the lab.
- I am the only one responsible for my future, and life will not give you anything unless you fight really hard for it.
- Some circumstances in your life will make you feel a little bit depressed, and you're going to think that the future will be hopeless, that's when I realized that the only way I could change it, would be to change my mindset.
- You will find good friends and bad friends, but the only way in which you can succeed in life is to choose the good friends bottom line.
- If you try to rush for your dreams, it will never come to you and the only way to accomplish your goals is to go step-by-step and day-by-day and be calm a long the way.
- Stick with your best friends and family members, because the real ones will always be by your side.
- The only way to accomplish big things in life used to believe that love can lead you anywhere, love is the most important resource in the universe for you to accomplish all your dreams.
- Arrogance will never lead you anywhere, it will just stop your dreams and bring you down.
- Treat your family with respect, because one day you will regret it.
Krishna, who spoke the Bhagavad Gita thousands of years ago in ancient India, said "endeavor, but do not be attached to the fruits of your action". Our society to this day does not understand this, and people live under great stress because of high expectations placed on them from work, family, society and more. We cannot control outcomes. That is the lesson to learn. Sure, you can work hard. That does not guarantee material success. Sure, you can be virtuous, it does not mean it will be recognized. So, we need to find value in what we do, and not necessarily the results of such actions. If humanity can learn this valuable lesson, we will have collective peace around the globe and humanity will be much happier.
No one is immortal, not even our parents/role models. And their deaths can be the catalyst for major change s, either good or bad. Again and again, I have been faced with the deaths of loved ones, too many to count. My mom, step-dad, great-aunt, grandmother, godmother, and others have all passed on, and each effected me differently. With some, I shut down, and had to have help to come back out of my shell. Otjers caused anger at the unfairness of losing them just when I got them back. And others still forced me to face the fact that I need to be able to take care of myself, because eventually all those in the previous generation whom I love will pass away, meaning I can't rely on them for help forever.
What life lesson changed you the most?
Emotions are absolutely important to express. But they should be proportional to the situation.
While handling a situation or deciding on anything do not be influenced by the emotion. Many of us suffer because of the bad decisions taken emotionally.
I have witnessed several incidents in my life and in my close circle. Emotional outbursts have ruined relations, spolied opportunities and failed well planned projects.