When did you feel that your life was turning around?
The moment she walked into the in take office in August 2003 at mental health clinic SFDPH Behavioral Health Services. She is my MFT Psychotherapist fifteen years. I came to San Francisco to stop racism, domestic violence, stop drinking and also to get help for what the mother of my two daughters described as trauma from violence in childhood home and old neighborhood in Boston. She believed I couldn't do it on my own and in August 2003 I started the work and process to do this. Fifteen years in haven't quit.One moment therapist is advocate in other advesary. It changes until bi weekly appointment then I treat her with respect and continue to do the best I can do which at times isn't much but again not quiting and determined to be the best version of me I can be! I love therapist like family that's why she gets my wrath in postings but as you read I regroup reality check and grattutude and attitude of responsibility to push forward because someone has had my back been on my side in my corner loyal through thick and thin and I get the fight back in me to get better make progress. She is a miracle in my life I don't want to take her for granted. Suit up and boot up and man up! I went off Truvada PReP for eight days she wanted me back on them to reschedule appointment missed twice to get HIV test results required every three months. I got refill never picked up at Walgreens then made appointment Friday then made blood draw at SFGH and new doctor called twice Friday afternoon and got same day second HIV test results back HIV negative. Last therapy appointment made it clear I am heterosexual not Bisexual. Massachusetts mental health records mislabeled wrong orientation because suicidal over Male Prostitution as straight male. Found out definition not activities but attraction physical and emotional to same sex and opposite sex is Bisexual. I am not attracted to same sex physical or emotional. So that's why I stopped Truvada PReP and going to adult bookstore arcade. Therapist said I would want to have more encounters so I will ask her Thursday why? I already have and use my 8″ fat porn casted dildo. I am Heterosexual but not ready even fourteen years no opposite sex encounters. I am working hard to get emotionally stable from sexual relationship styles freaking me out as other posts show clearly. I know if I can be cool with her and I love her even when not cool with it I can take it out to dealing with outside world in San Francisco. She is so important in so many ways. Respecting her, Tolerance of her different beliefs, acceptance of her short comings and loving her and feeling cared about and supported motivates the best inside me even when I am not at my best.
I grew up in intolerance bigotry Homophobia and this Polyamory (Witchcraft word 1990) and Tantra Sacred Sex Practicioners stuff makes me uneasy like swingers and sex workers the last two are or were in my younger years signs of sociopath and bad character I don't understand what has changed unless LGBT and the erosion of family values
When everything in your life seems to be falling apart or you constantly feel stuck. This is universe trying to convey that you need to sit with yourself and address the issues that you have been ignoring for years.
Maybe you have always wanted to start some business, write a book, lose weight, let go of toxic habits and people. When nothing seems to work or go in the right direction, that's signalling you to turn inward and answer those questions. Once you start addressing the long ignored issues, your life will start turning around in front of your eyes within a matter of weeks and months.
For me the turning point came when I broke off many toxic friendships I had for years. I stopped feeling miserable and inadequate and instead used all my energy on writing and working as a full-time blogger.
I am no where earning huge amount of money but I am not pennyless and miserable how I used to be when I was doing everything wrong with my work and the kind of people I allowed in my life. Always remember to stay in touch with yourself. Sit in silence with yourself everyday and drop everything that's not you. You'll get answers and your life will turn around.
I would turn that question back on you and ask, "Are you trying to turn your life around?" My life circumstances and experiences aren't relevant to yours. Each life path is different and each person's life purpose is different. Do you know your life's purpose? Have you ever explored that inner world so you can share your life with other's around you in an authentic way?
Take stock of where you are and what you want to "turn around" that will help you understand the truly unique nature of each person's life pat.