Why am I obsessed with love?

You're obsessed with love because it's the best hallucinogen that life has to offer. And possibly because you don't feel it for yourself and thus crave getting it from others.

If the second sentence isn't true, then ignore everything else I have to say, because the only reason I'm saying it is the hope that what I have to say might help someone with that issue.

I have a lot of experience in not feeling loved. For over thirty years I felt that I was unworthy of being loved and that the only way I could deserve to be loved at all was to give of myself as unselfishly as I could. I would often avoid doing the things that would make me happy, feeling that depriving myself of them was increasing my willpower or my character or improving my finances. It led to a lifelong depression.

I recently conquered my depression and what I found out through that experience was that it's okay to be selfish. I need to be selfish in order to be happy. In order to truly give unselfishly, I need to first have enough to give out. I have to be the one responsible for making myself happy because other people have their own lives and it would be wrong to count on them to do it for you. (Not wrong to let them if that's what they want to do, just wrong to depend on it because you're only hurting yourself by allowing yourself to forget how to do it for yourself and that you need to do it for yourself.) How do I make myself feel loved? By doing what I need most - making myself happy. I made a list of the things that I thought made me happy. Then ignored it, because I already know what makes me happy and I don't need a list. (I do glance back at it for ideas sometimes. Or to add things in case I somehow forget.) I do little things, like getting myself a Diet Coke when I already have tea. Like refilling my tea when I could just go without. Like watching something as silly and childish as My Little Pony when I need a quick pick me up. Like stepping away from the people who want or need my attention and going to spend time alone when I need some peace.

What I learned is that it's both okay and necessary to take care of yourself. It's possible to have love from the outside at the same time - I've been happily married for decades and we live with my mom who's the nicest person on the planet. But it wasn't enough to overcome the depression. Because if the most important person in your life (you) isn't making you happy, then how can you believe that you're loved?

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You very likely are NOT obsessed with love

Love is not a feeling but actually hard work. Love defined: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-7‬

Love is seeking to benefit another person even if at your expense.

What many people loosely refer to as "love" can be infatuation or the feeling of "falling in love" which is a strong feeling that can last up to 2–3 years. That feeling generally is reinforced with naturally-occurring hormones and chemistry within your body, and is ephemeral. Real love is not a feeling; it is a choice

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."

‭‭John‬ ‭15:13‬


You are not alone, just about every single person on the planet is obsessed with love, but first, let me give you a background on myself and how I never thought I would feel love.

I'm a high-functioning sociopath, in fact I was born one. Growing up I never seemed to have these desires for having someone by my side, and as I grew older I never felt the sexual urges that those around me did. On top of that I didn't even feel a bond with my own parents. They loved me, they raised me, and they sheltered me, yet I couldn't feel anything emotionally towards them. I felt respect towards them, but never what I felt was love.

Fast forward a few years to the age of 19, I made friends with a girl. This girl seemed different from all the others I had met, though. I could see in her eyes that she was truly innocent, unlike me. Despite the fact that we live thousands of miles away, I could still feel her radiating love for everyone, no matter how they mistreated her. And that was the first time I felt love in my life. After she and I decided to start dating she was the only thing in my world, and still is. I love her with every fibre of my being.

So, now to answer your question.

Love is addicting.

Love gives us feelings of euphoria that we couldn't possibly get with any drug.

There's nothing quite like the feeling of having someone there by your side to build upon your weaknesses, to hold you when you're down, to back you up when no one's in your corner.

We are all born incomplete, so, naturally, we seek to find that certain someone who can fill that hole in our hearts.


People want to spend time with company permanently and the only way to do that realistically is by loving.

You can't spend time with friends forever, no matter how much you believe that your friends will be there forever. They won't be. They have their own lives to deal with and in this capitalistic society means that they need a job, they need a place to live, they need someone to be there for them for human companionship and interaction (since we humans are built to be social animals) until we die.

Relationships and friendships are two similar yet entirely different things to have. You can't just go up to a friend and kiss them right? In a relationship you can easily do that if you chose to. However, in order to have the privilege of doing that; firstly you need to be in love.

So to answer your question on: Why are people so obsessed over love?

The answer is simple: We humans don't want to be alone forever, and frankly we can't be. Love fills the remaining pieces that friendships cannot provide.


Cause, I presume you're a girl. If you're a guy then my bad.

  1. You watch too many romantic/dramatic things and wish to have the same experience with someone special.
  2. You crave the love and attention because nobody has given it to you yet
  3. You still didn't get heartbroken several times to slightly give up on your obsession
  4. And if you did get heartbroken a lot of time and are still obsessed with love, you need to talk to yourself honestly and figure that love is a waste of time
  5. If you're still obsessed a lot, it may be just a temporary thing and it'll fades away when you get obsessed about another thing. (Coming from someone who suffer obsessive thoughts)

Why is everyone so obsessed with love?

Fair question!

First of all, you shouldn't confuse obsession with passion.

Obsession is an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.

But passion,its a different theory. Its a strong and barely controllable emotion.

Secondly, they are desperate. Not even a single person is there who doesn't want love.

And last of all, love is a Necessity.

REGARDS:
SIDDHARTH PANDEY


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