Why do we hate making phone calls?

I hate making phone calls because I'm aposiopetic.

Aposio-what? When I speak, it tends to be in short bursts.

"Hey, d'you know if - oh wait- was that due today?"

"Was what due today?"

"oh SHOOT! I totally forgot- I'd better go home and do it right now!"

"Uh, what? Uh, okay."

You see what I mean? My brain runs so far ahead of my mouth, that I tend to break off abruptly in the middle of sentences. Or I frequently pause in order to better articulate my scattered thoughts.

Writing is easiest. I don't have to worry that I'm not being clear enough, because I can put all my scattered thoughts on paper and then later rearrange them so they make sense. In person, if I pause in the middle of a sentence, people usually patiently wait until I'm ready to speak again, because they can see that I'm in the midst of untangling my thoughts (I'd be looking out into space, or fidgeting with something).

During a phone call, any silence that occurs is interrupted with "Hello? Hello? Are you still there?"

People don't have patience during phone calls. They don't understand that I need time to think; I am pressured into blurting out the first thing on my mind.

This is why I will never do well in any sort of phone call interview.


In my opinion there are five main reasons:

  1. It's intrusive, by making an unexpected phone call you're essentially telling someone that your issue is so important that you had to bother them right now, right this second. Perhaps they're in the middle of an important meeting, or at the movies, or spending time with their family, is your issue worth ruining that? It creates a fair bit of pressure on you to make it seem like you're not just wasting their time.
  2. As a generation that was raised on text based communication, we never learnt to create a buffer for our thoughts and words and the order they go in when talking to other people. After all, you can re-read a text message 10 times before you send it, but with a phone call you need to get the right words out the first time, so you need to pay far more attention. We don't think before we speak nearly as much as our parents and grandparents did, and half the time we're just saying the first thing that comes to mind, which leads to awkward corrections.
  3. You need to be simultaneously reading and writing from/to your brain, and you can't easily take pauses to process and come up with an answer like we do in face-to-face conversations because of the lack of body language.
  4. We make calls to get things done, and to most millennials an incoming phone call is either work or elderly relatives, both of which tend to be stressful. There's also the uncertainty, it's like a jack in the box except the puppet wants to know why you're not at work or why you don't have any children.
  5. It's difficult if not impossible to interrupt or interject without being rude and cutting them off, normally we use body language to signal that we have something to say, but on the phone you either have to wait for a pause which might never come, or it'll come too late and you've moved on from that topic, or you just blurt it out.

For me, it depends on who I am talking to.

If I'm calling my parents or my close friends, I have no problem with talking on the phone. However, if it's someone I just met, then I prefer to text or talk in person. Texting lets you think of your responses, whereas talking on the phone typically means that you need to keep the conversation flowing, or else there's that awkward silence. Talking in person is kind of the same thing, you need to keep the conversation flowing, but usually you can simply comment on your surroundings or something to avoid awkward silences.

Also, I absolutely hate calling to make appointments or to discuss issues where I have to talk to customer service. I get nervous and afraid that I will say the wrong thing, or have to repeat the same thing over and over again because they don't understand or they can't hear me. I guess I only hate phone calls when I am unfamiliar with the other person.


Lack of confidence. The only reason there is.
Chats and emails have given us media to hide behind textual matter. There is no real emotion involved. They have become an easy way out. For example, you want to apologize to someone. The perfect way would be to call or meet the person up and apologize straight. Sending a text, IM or email won't have that effect because there is no real emotion involved.
If you love talking, you'll love calling. Me personally, I hated calling. But when I was a fresh graduate looking for a job, I made 5-10 calls a day. Once I was confident enough to talk to anyone and everyone with respect, I started to prefer calls over emails or messages.
You might think that email or chat is better because it is cheaper, trust me it is not. The only thing that can replace a phone call is a face to face talk.
Hope this answers your question and satisfies your wisdom.
Thank you.


I don't mind the phone.

Some people rely more than others in non verbal communication when talking to other human beings. The phone provides the same real-time/live opportunity, but without those queues to work with. This can -then- create a medium in which communicating effectively is uncomfortable at best, and not efficient.

There is nothing wrong with this. Our bodies were designed to communicate face to face, and while making use of the phone and any other new technologies is important, one must never forget to keep and practice the original forms of communication. It will help avoid an isolated society.

My kid and a friend were in the back of my car not that long ago, and they were far too quiet. When I turned to ask how come they were not talking, I realized that they were texting one another. As I asked the reason for this, they simply said they were used to it. The day we all act this way, we will have lost -even if just to a tiny degree- our humanity.

Have a great day.


It is more of a millennial thing I think. As a kid, I'd spend hours on the phone every day that I wasn't outside playing. We love to communicate as people, but we found an easier, less stressful or invasive way of doing it (text/email), so we have changed our habits.

A good thing to note too is that we are a lot busier now with technology. We need to contact several people in a short period of time typically about something small enough that a quick email or text will suffice. Why go through the trouble of a conversation? Or perhaps better put, why risk having meaningful dialogue during this busy day? Ain't nobody got time for that.


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