Why is Melania Trump still sticking with Donald Trump?
Here is what I think about Melania Trump's role in her husband's life.
I am saying so because I've been for too many years in a family relationship with someone in my family who is like Donald is: a narcissist, and hanging around this person with friends who are shockingly like Donald is also.
Some examples: ‘My wife won't let me buy a house in France!' (to go with his other 11 houses) ; talk about first world problems.
They talk about being in on the sponsoring round of funding for AOL or Facebook like normal people talk about having a good payday where they worked a lot of overtime. millions of dollars... is just a good day.
Being rich is like living in a different world than most of us realize, and in these little clubs of rich men, narcissism is more prevalent than they let on.
I've seen this first hand. Some live wholly separate lives- the public life and the private, indulgent life; disguised by travel and business interests and workaholism (in some cases).
Wives in one, mistresses (sometimes a lot of them) on the other. Same guy, same restaurant, same table: different set of significant others. It's amazing. Some combine them into one big weird family. Robert Plant is an example of this, too. Just read any biography.
I listed these in order of importance:
- Construct powerful sexual experiences for her husband. With her, with other women, various decadent scenarios, etc. Their relationship is likely an open one for this reason (but not from her side, except with women, obviously). I would go so far as to say that this is likely contractually set up also.
- Participate in Donald's ‘Projection Of Power, Presence & Command' through the presence of beautiful women in his life in both public and private spheres. Melania is already the First Lady of Donald; and her main purpose is to validate his existing idea about how to construct his self-esteem, and advocate for this throughout his little ‘empire' by example and by fiat. Image is Everything. Beautiful women=Power for Donald. If he goes somewhere in his organization, and beautiful women are not there, his personal self-esteem and self-worth is reduced, and this is NEVER allowed.
- Melania, since she's in a co-dependent relationship, must become somewhat of a tyrant in his life to ensure that this self-esteem is protected at all costs. She is a Beauty COO and her job is Donald's Happiness. If he's sad, distract him with a threesome or some other crazy sexual experience. She must be VERY good at this. I imagine that few people can do this for very long, and one must always be On Point, or you're OUT.
- Thus the revolving door of wives. Think of the assistant in "The Devil Wears Prada" to Donald Trump. Instead of fashion deciding your self-esteem (in Donald's case he clearly has a preferred, cheap-looking ‘gold' aesthetic), it's sex. I'm quite sure his decades of decadence make producing novel sexual experiences and decadent luxuries quite a job for her.
- For her to have an Actual Role in the husband's Presidential bid is FAR outside her wheelhouse as basically Donald Trump's personal Madam.
- Raise children. Run the maids and assistants who probably do most of the actual work, while she coordinates her husband's whims, both sexual and sensual.
I say all this with a knowledge of what it is like to have someone important in my life who is a narcissist, but not NEARLY as well-known or wealthy as Donald is.
I also know a lot of their friends with even more money than this person I'm mentioning, and you can see what I'm talking about pretty clearly just being around them.
Melania isn't a person any longer, since to be in a relationship with a narcissist requires you to completely submit to their world view, or at least pretend you are doing so to a very believable degree. There is a bit of co-dependence and a lot of Stockholm Syndrome.
I have inoculated myself against this by living far, far away from my narcissist family member. But, when I go there, I go to SERVE and to do this, I have to subsume my own personality; and it took me YEARS to figure out what was needed to nurture that needed relationship for me.
Now, I can go and come without being so affected because I know The Rules. The Rules are non-optional. Now I can adhere to them without costing me my dignity.
She actually volunteered to be the female personification of Trump's libido, and his way of seeing the world in general. She's FULLY COMMITTED to this lifestyle, and nothing by way of revelations and things that he's said are EVEN A LITTLE surprising to her. She is a FULL participant in actively creating the experiences that she knows he needs (after all these years), so to be married to him is to be married to this twisted, self-reinforcing mentality. Indeed, it is her job to advocate and construct such experiences for him. The wife of this person I know is the same, if not as decadent or as sexual.
The closest to this I can find to show you the underbelly of this is Sam Vaknin. If you want the documentary about him, he even twists the filmmaker's idea of reality by the end: I, Psychopath
Indeed, for a while it became difficult to talk about narcissism without having your Internet discussion thread taken over by Sam Vaknin (or his devotees), the world's foremost expert on narcissism; determined to be the world's ONLY source of information on narcissism.
Being rich gives certain kinds of rich people permission to create whole WORLDS of different expression of their lives than we ever can imagine. You might think I'm making this up, but I bet if you know really wealthy people, you'll find more than a few people like him with the public/private faces.
It is well known that there is a link between psychopathy and business leaders: The Disturbing Link Between Psychopathy And Leadership
Why would we imagine that their private lives are any different?
Yes, you have to volunteer for positions with narcissists, but it costs you SO MUCH to do so, unless you are also a psychopath. Who is to say which she is? I suspect she's a victim more now than before.
His ex-wives and children are also probably both legally and emotionally tied to him under an NDA and Stockholm Syndrome so that it's hard to escape.
This is why Melania ‘sticks with' him. Donald is a cult.
No one answering here has an conception of the factors that matter. Men who never have had real money think that ONLY if they had money, women would be flocking to them. Therefore, a good looking woman is with a rich man only for the money and luxury. Melania is from Slovenia. She is from a Slavic culture. They have a different mindset.
Bill Gates? Rich, very smart, a good person. Maybe he is a real man, I don't know. He did not marry a model. Different kind of person. Not the ideal for a Slavic woman.
Donald Trump is what they call in Slavic culture a "real man." In the West ,we might call him an "Alpha Male," but it is more than that. Trump does have an expansive personality, as witnessed by his method of speaking. This characteristic is referred to as "generous" but does not refer to sharing of money exactly. No one can deny that he has a way with people on a one-on-one level, from his butler to his top executives. Trump loves people. You cannot fake that. Trump has exactly the personality the classic beautiful Slavic woman prefers. Sometimes, Trump can seem to be a real jerk to Americans, I suppose. Cultural difference.
If she was just interested in marrying a wealthy man, rest assured that she had plenty of opportunities to do so, prior to meeting Trump. By the way, that is exactly how she would put it, if she were sitting here talking to you.
Whether or not the current allegations about him are true, they happened a long time ago and don't matter. YOU, dear reader, may not agree. But you are not an elegant model from Slovenia.
You may point out Famous Person A or B in the USA who, in your belief, is far superior to Trump. For example, Barack Obama. Disregarding his melanin level (Slavs are racist) they see him as a weenie. (1% approval rating in Russia) Barack Obama and HRC do not love people, Bill Clinton does. Maybe you think your culture is superior to the Slavic one. Up to you. Maybe it is. But, it is the culture Melania has and it works for her.
Yes I have lived a lot of time in that part of the world, have relatives there, and used to own a model agency.
Love. It's a beautiful thing, right? It's the basis for a sound marriage, right?
But it wasn't always so.
The thing we have to realize is that for most of history (in fact until fairly modern times), love was just something in story books. Marrying for love was pretty rare in reality, especially for those wealthy enough for marriage to have a more tangible value. Historically speaking, our aversion to marriage for any reason other than love is rather strange. We see marrying for wealth, prestige, looks, politics, or any other reason as abhorrent.
I'm right there with you, mind you. I've been brought up to believe that Jane Austen had it all figured out.
My students are reading some of the Canterbury Tales right now. Chaucer has a lot to say about marriage. The Wife of Bath wants us to believe that women should have the upper hand in marriage. The Merchant wants us to believe that marriage is a pack of lies which both partners believe in for their own good. The Clerk wants us to believe that marriage is a woman's subservience to a man. The Franklin wants us to believe that marriage is about good communication and equality. The Shipman wants us to believe that marriage is sex in exchange for money. You know what? Chaucer (through his characters) is right every time. Marriage is about all these things for different people.
I can't imagine any woman being attracted to Trump without his money. I cringe to think that any woman is attracted to Trump with his money. Apparently his wife has different priorities.
On the other hand, I have an avatar sitting right up there next to my name. I'm no looker either. I'm a bit of a jackass. I have a wife. She's a nice person. I'm as shocked as anyone else.
One other thought occurs, though. Maybe he's a complete jackass in public but a nice guy to his wife. I doubt she'd be with him if he didn't have the money, but maybe she's into him with his money. Maybe she's into the whole package. A rich, powerful guy who treats her personally with respect (and yes, I know he doesn't treat other women with respect and don't know what they're like behind closed doors, but we don't know that he isn't respectful to her).
Who are we to judge? Seriously. What standing do we have? I dislike the guy. I cannot stand someone who holds women in such little regard. I would replace him with almost anyone else as president. Still, his personal affairs are his own. Her personal affairs are her own as well. The heart wants what the heart wants.
aside from inheriting billions when he kicks the bucket, trump is a narcissist. narcissists are extremely manipulative, masters at manipulation, and keeping victims in abusive relationships (typically mentally and verbally, not physically) the psychological abuse can be intense.
I have helped a few women escape narcissists in the past, 1, even came home and found him in bed with another woman, then proceeded to blame herself, doubt herself for not trusting him, and made all sorts of excuses for him. Narcissists typically blame everyone but themselves for their behavior. This reinforces a feeling in their victims (by victims i mean those stuck in a relationship with them) that they are somehow to blame. Trumps 70, Melania is 46, trump had said once a woman's past 35 she is worthless and undesirable. That fact alone, that she is over 35, and he still "puts up with her" is all the justification she needs to continue putting up with the mentally abusive relationship. His behavior is excusable, because, after all she did allow herself to age beyond 35.
Incidentally, trump has made many inappropriate comments about his daughter Ivanka, who is 34. There is likely a bit of uncomfortable rivalry there.
Narcissists can be true monsters, trumps 1st wife in the divorce called him cruel and inhuman. Narcissists tend to punish those who try to escape.
Narcissist relationships, although cruel, can be addicting.
So, we have addiction to a cruel inhuman man, who punishes you if you leave, blames you for his own anger and misdeeds (and as you saw today "I didn't even apologize to melania because i didn't do anything wrong" never admits to having any issues)
then we have the billions she will inherit.
And the nail in the coffin:
Melania was an illegal immigrant, who overstayed her visa, worked here illegally, and got her citizenship through marriage. in short, if she leaves, she loses everything, gets deported, blamed, and, worse of all her crime of escaping will likely be portrayed as something she did deliberately to hurt him, his campaign, reputation, and oddly enough, all of america. She will be made out to be the reason why we cannot allow ‘nasty women" like her to immigrate illegally. In fact, he will likely use her as a example for why immigration through marriage should be made illegal.
Most of these answers are just nonsense speculation based on peoples own feelings about Trump so I'm going to add my own 2 cents here.
Maybe she's sticking with Trump because she actually loves him; she did marry him after all. Maybe a part is his success and money, but that's no less shallow than any other reason to love a person.
I think this question, and some of the related questions (such as "Is Melania Trump illiterate" etc) really show the hypocrisy in modern thinking, especially in regards to feminism when it comes to beauty. Simply put, because she's a good looking woman, people can't even imagine that she's anything more than an idiot trophy wife that's "stuck" with Trump. Also, because Trump isn't good looking, that she can't possibly see more in him than just a meal ticket.
Even with all the advances in feminism, this thinking still seems to be treated as acceptable and you can see it far too often. If a very successful women happens to be good looking then people (including women + some "feminists") will tear them down for having "slept their way to the top" etc. People won't believe they actually worked as hard as anyone else for their success.
So Melania is still with Donald for the same reasons anybody else is with their husband when they have difficulties. Don't let your political opinions of Donald and your assumptions about Melania think you know anything about their relationship.