Would you ever date someone outside of your own race?
Yes, I have Dated a Beautiful Bhutanese Girl.
Let me share my personal experience of Dating someone outside of your own race.
I am from India and she is from Bhutan, I am Hindu and she is Buddhist, I am working and she is a student, I am Brown and She is white, My mother tongue is Odia/Hindi her is Dzongkha , I am Emotional and She is Practical, I like Dogs she like Cats. lol
I met her in Malaysia. At an unexpected place at an unexpected time.
Before I met her, I don't know anyone from Bhutan and I don't have any idea how they are, how their culture is, their food, liking etc. Only thing I knew was Bhutan is a small peaceful Mountain country which shares border and strong ties with India.
On our 1st meeting I came to know how strongly they are influenced to Indian culture, food, people, songs, movies, attire, etc. I am a Big Bollywood fan who rarely misses any movie but her Bollywood knowledge is 10 times better than me. Even she watch "Crime Petrol" everyday. (Me too) LOL . She love Hindi songs.
I am a Indian and I like spicy food but they eat 20x Spicier food than us(Believe me does not matter how spicy you eat but you can't compete with them). Although She is Buddhist ( I have seen most of the Buddhist are non-vegans they eat pork, beef too) but she is a Pure-Vegan.
By watching Indian movies, episodes she learned Hindi. And her accent is so cute. She love to eat "Pani-Puri", "Alu-Paratha" (A Tasty Indian Snack). They love Indian traditional marriage style and they are shocked to see the bonding in Indian families because divorce rate in Bhutan is very high.
So soon we started dating each other. Her attraction towards my culture made me attracted towards her and I know her feelings too. So I proposed her and she accepted. Although it was very fast, but Believe me I was not dating her casually, I was truly in love with her from all my heart. Although we both live in Malaysia but 2 different cities so it was a distanced relationship too. Everyday it was like a new and lovely experience for me.
Believe me guys Love can happen anywhere, anytime and to anyone it does not matter from what race, religion, country, color you are. But you need to understand the difference between love and lust.
I was in truly love with her and I love her more than anything. We have decided to marry each other. But things didn't worked out between us and she needed space. So she decided to break-up. but I know she will return.
I'm a white girl in the US. This answer isn't PC and doesn't have any sentimental or noble undertones, but it might add more representation of the darker side of this question.
I'm not a wave-maker or trailblazer. I don't really like standing out, being stared at, or being under the heat of a judgmental gaze. For this reason - it's unlikely I would date someone outside of my race.
A lot of this has to do with my family, most of whom are fairly well-off. In high school I got my first reality check from my dad, who (up until that point) I had never heard make a racist remark.
My older sister was the trigger. She started seeing a black guy at school and my dad saw him dropping her off at the house one day, kissing in his car. He was livid.
When she came inside he started tearing into her, asking who the black kid was and pretty much point-blank saying she couldn't date him. He said if she dated him she would be ‘damaged goods', that black boys were hyper-sexual and raised in a different culture - a drug and violence culture. He then proceeded to login to Facebook to make sure there weren't any pictures of them together (which there weren't), saying he would be so embarrassed if one of my uncles or family members had seen them.
I couldn't tell you how shocking his reaction was for me - it was a complete two-face. He was so PC in everyday life, I never would have guessed he felt that way. And when he grounded my sister after she kept arguing with him, I realized I never wanted to be on the receiving end of that judgmental tirade.
So - going back to my preference to fit in, the answer was easy for me: there are plenty of nice white guys to choose from.
About a year later, I again encountered the interracial dating problem. Being in all AP classes, I was mostly with the same kids all day. It didn't take long for study cliques to form, and I started spending a lot of time after school with the same people from my AP classes.
One of those students was Hispanic. He was also incredibly funny, a great athlete, very handsome, and all around a great guy. We starting talking more, there was definitely a spark.
I called my mom (divorced parents) one day and starting telling her about him. She sensed that I really liked him and asked his name to find his Facebook pic. I told her his first name and followed with the last - Hernandez.
She repeated it back to me in a questioning tone. "Hernandez?"
It wasn't much and the conversation resumed like normal, but for me - the weight of that question had made a mark; it felt like disapproval.
So again I thought to myself: I'm not in so deep yet - this guy is nice, but so is that other handsome kid, a white boy.
Like I said before, I'm not a wave-maker or trailblazer; I'm not proud of this but some people are followers more than leaders and that's what comes natural to me. Maybe it'll matter less when I get older, but I hate being stared at in public, and that is just what happens to mixed race couples in the US. (Although I think this is improving).
Asian guys carry less stigma with my family, but another feeling comes into play there - ‘damaged goods'. That phrase really stuck with me. But more than that, it's a feeling. It's almost like there is a pressure or feeling that there is something wrong with you; that you weren't good enough to get someone free of stigma and by being with someone your family or friends don't approve of, you've settled or acknowledged you're a bad catch.
Since it really isn't that hard for me to find someone to be with, interracial dating never enters the picture for me. I just don't get close to anyone who could possibly draw disapproval and - problem solved.
However, if I ever did happen to get close to someone from another race in that way over time (through some activity or function) and felt strongly about him, that might be enough for me brave the judgmental stares.
And again, I'm not proud of this, I know it's not PC or what anybody wants to hear. And I know my response to pressure is cowardly and weak. I'm not a strong person.
And I don't think I'm the only white girl who's had these sort of influences and just doesn't want the heartache of dealing with those kind of problems if it can at all be avoided.
I do find other races just as attractive and desirable, and I think the stigma is slowly dying out. Mostly prevalent among older people, the upper-crust, and rednecks.
Even though conservative answers carry a high risk on Quora, my answer is a definitive NO. I sincerely hope I do not offend and that the logic behind my views is not too obscure. I strongly feel that people should never feel offended when someone of a different race claims to never want to date outside their race. People should only be concerned over who the people of their own race are willing to date.
First and foremost, as a white man I desire to have white children with a distinct and unmistakable northern European look. I am not comfortable with the prospect of having mixed-race children or even mixed-race grandchildren and unfortunately cannot accept that scenario. I firmly believe that it is my duty and that of every other person to create children in our own image and make sure that the distinct northern European white ‘race' and our physical attributes continue to exist indefinitely into the future. The likelihood of me dating someone who is not white decreases with how far from white the mixed race children produced with that person will look. In other words, I am less likely to date a sub-Saharan African person than a North-East Asian woman; however, either way it will never happen as I will exclusively marry a white European woman.
I believe the men and women of a certain race must try their utmost best to remain loyal to one another and resist the progressive propaganda trying to encourage them to date inter-racially. I am also equally saddened when I see a white man with an Asian woman as when I see a white woman with a black man. These relationships cause immense social tension and animosity between races. White men are suspicious of successful black men, because they assume that they will use their wealth to pursue white women and take them away from potential white husbands, and also use them to produce black children for the black race instead of white children for the white race. As a result, white men in white majority nations will oppress black men in various institutional and economical ways. If interracial relationships were impossible or simply never happened, social tension would disappear and no race would feel the need to keep another one down.
I am also personally opposed to interracial relationships because of its long term effect of amalgamating races together, which will result in the vanishing of distinct nothern European looks, even in the countries where they evolved. As we all know, a white person with a black partner cannot produce a white child that can pass as an unmixed European. It is simply put, impossible. Even if the black parent is heavily mixed themselves, they child will still have various obvious African physical traits. Migration is only happening into the ‘white' areas of the world. America is a nation of mostly immigrants, so amalgamation over there is not as much of a problem, but whites are indigenous to Europe and the thought of fair Europeans over there also being completely replaced in the future by coffee-coloured, Afro-haired biracial humans is too much for my heart to bear. Pale skin, blonde hair, blue eyes and the slender northern European features have evolved over thousands of years of isolation and for them to disappear because of progressive ideology is simply put, a tragedy. There will be some people here telling me that a biracial child could still have blue eyes or blonde hair, but let's not be obnoxious here. There is a big visual difference between a biracial African person with blue eyes or a blonde Afro and a true European like Elin Nordegren.
I am truly not a hateful human and have never believed that any one group is superior over another and my desire for white Europeans to remain preserved does not imply that I believe Europeans to be superior. I simply believe in preserving what is distinct, unique and beautiful and not allowing the term ‘racism' to become such a powerful tool of intimidation that it can be used to drive certain races to extinction.
The problem is that we have been brainwashed to automatically treat racism as inherently evil in every situation it occurs, which it isn't. This is the same pathology that makes humans automatically negatively associate the term "discrimination" with acts of evil, which it obviously, in many instances, isn't. We discriminate on a daily basis against the food we eat, the TV we watch and we also discriminate in our friendships against bad and dangerous people, in which case discrimination is obviously a good thing. Similarly, racism is a situational evil and we continually make the mistake of always trying avoid the racist label, instead of putting racism in context. In the context of discriminating who you date based on race, racism is most certainly not evil and also a right protected by the constitution. People keep making the mistake of trying to argue why not dating outside their race is not racism when they are confronted by tyrannical progressives. What they need to do instead is to admit to being racist in their preferences but make those who confront them aware of the fact that the constitution protects your right to choose who you do not wish to date and allows you to discriminate against any criteria of your choice, be it race, age, looks, wealth, height, taste in music, etc.
Having a societal racial preference is not necessarily a bad, evil form of racism either, as it depends on the logic behind this preference. I personally believe that allowing the races to all amalgamate together and to cause all future humans to look the same is immensely evil, and therefore I hold a societal racial preference as well as a personal racial preference. To allow a future where there are no more people left in Scandinavia who look like Elin Nordegren and where they have all become dark and coffee-coloured, is worhty of combating, in my view. This can be achieved in various humane ways, such as simply not allowing European nations to diversify to such an extent that whites could potentially become minorities in those nations. The less diverse European nations are, the lower the risk of interracial relationships will be and the less necessary discrimination and other unpleasantness will be to keep the attributes of the indigenous people in tact. It is a win-win situation.
I was lucky enough to come from a town that had a high immigrant population growing up and I spent twenty years in Sam's Army traveling all over the world during which time I was single for a good chunk of it.
I have dated girls from the following countries: Ireland, Italy, Korea, Spain, Hong Kong, Russia, Puerto Rico (not sure if that counts since it a part of the USA), Black Girls (American), France, 1 African Girl, Austria (1 on vacation), Spain (short fling on a two week vacation, and a bunch of German Girls ( I was stationed there a lot).
I am in the middle of writing a book and that has given me time to be very retrospective about life. When I think of the women I dated no matter were they came from or what race or culture they are categorized as, they all had certain traits in common.
I don't want this to sound racist but I hope on a forum for honesty I can be understood that I'm not trying to insult anyone. I personally consider this to me my loss.
I personally find darker skin women more physically attractive. They also typically have more pronounced curves in my opinion. I love the natural hair too. My total weakness. From a visual attraction aspect this woman is absolutely stunning and would be a 10/10 for me: (random GIS)
There is a saying in Latin America: "Mejorando la raza".
It LITERALLY means, in the context of its intention, that if you marry a rich, white guy (or girl), you are already passing down a better life to your future children. The ideal standard is blond hair and blue eyes. I have black hair and almost black eyes, and I am tan, yet not completely ‘morena', as some people would call it.
Marrying outside of your own race is ENCOURAGED. It's considered an achievement. I think it's nonsense.
When I had an African-American boyfriend, my grandparents said: "But do you want your children to be BLACK?" I was 16. I was not even thinking about children.
I think that's the thought process - that marrying into your own race will ensure that you will share the same cultural values, perhaps even the same language, and that that cohesion in some way or another brings stability.
Your question talks about DATING. It's not even a long-term decision like a formal relationship or marriage. Of course I would! The world is an interesting place full of unique people. Not dating someone just because of their race seems a waste in my opinion. Of course, I will not lie and say that I do not have a PREFERENCE in terms of who I date, yet race has never factored in my decisions. Only good manners, a charming smile, and an easygoing demeanor. I think you can find a person like that in any race.
I am ALSO against people who have a certain fascination with one race due to stereotypical depictions of what it means to be part of that race. I am not a ‘spicy' latina. I get sunburned easily. I cannot dance very well, and I also do not have a big butt. So when guys approach me and change their demeanor when I tell them I am Latin American, that turns me off immediately. It's never a genuine interest into another person's culture or insights, it's a fantasy that people think they can fulfill just because a person is a certain race.
So, yes, I would date anybody who would be agreeable, nice, smart, and respectful. They come in many shapes, sizes, genders, and races. And that makes life more interesting.
Questions like these are not useful, because they are an arena for the super hip liberal PC folks to masturbate en masse and show how super-duper progressive and open minded they are. Which is funny: the same people are so vehemently anti-colonialist, lament the loss of 50–90% of the world's languages (and hence cultures) within the next 100 years, lament the loss of diversity etc., but if anyone dare to say he or she would not marry outside her folks, I bet you they'd go ballistic.
Here is my answer, then: yes, I would date anyone. However, I would not necessarily MARRY anyone (the emphasis is on necessarily!), as I believe that a person's cultural background plays a significant role in his or her life. I believe that this is also the main reason why interracial (this should be better termed as intercultural) marriages are more likely to lead to divorce. Furthermore, I would also consider my children's future in certain cases. Let me illustrate what I mean:
- I happen to know quite a few European-African couples (the European part being mostly people from the Germanic world). Some divorced, some made it. Virtually all of them experienced significantly more stress and trouble during their time, since the general (black) African culture is significantly different from the European, especially Germanic culture. Some situations can be seriously frustrating and not necessarily your partner's fault, but caused by her family -and these problems are very common.
- Example: I love India. I love it so much, I studied Sanskrit, I cook Indian food, know everything about the history, the cultures, the languages, have many Indian friends, eat once a week with Indian scholars etc. In other words: I know the culture, could almost be considered an insider. And I dated a few Indian girls from all backgrounds. But I would think twice before marrying an Indian girl, for the simple reason that there is a significant difference between my needs of privacy and my relationship with my family and the standard Indian version of that. I even discussed this with some of my girlfriends. In short: Indian families tend to be very large, nosey, controlling and rather close-knit, i.e. expect guests all the time, expect stuff you have to run after frequently. Also, you will have a house smelling like curry and you will have it in your clothes in your hair in your everything. Note: I am not saying that the Indian family culture is in any way worse or better than mine. This is just my perspective.
- In certain cultures, marrying a member of a specific people can make life for your kids hard. If you are e.g. Iranian and marry an Arab, there is a chance your kid will develop identity issues. There is also a chance that part of your Arab spouse's family will hate your nation (there seems to be a universal aversion to Iranians in the Arab world). If you are e.g. Armenian and marry anybody from Turkey or the Republic of Azerbaijan, your kid will definitely have identity issues and is very likely to reject one side. The same problems occur e.g. in Africa, when a Tootsie marries a Hutu. In e.g. Korea, children of mixed heritage (e.g. US-Korean) experience significant racism, so much that their parents often take them out of school. Japan is perhaps even worse, and non-Japanese spouses are usually rejected by the Japanese family. If were Korean or Japanese and I intended to live in my country, I would marry Japanese or Chinese or Korean - but that's it. I would not want my child to experience a horrible childhood and youth and be fucked up.
- If I were a member of a small ethno-religion or small tribe, I would probably want to marry within my group to maintain my language and culture.
- Finally, I'm a human being with a very open mind (de facto more than most hip liberal Westerners - I'm just more honest and no-nonsense), but there are cultures I simply don't like so much, i.e. am not compatible with, and while again, I would date anyone, if it came down to marriage and children, I would be more picky. I believe that dating is about love, sex and feelings etc., but I belive that a successful marriage has much more to do with compatibility than with some romantic feelings. Take two couples: one are two people from very, very different backgrounds, but they are crazily in love. The other are two people who like each other very much and have sex, but are not so deeply in love - yet they are compatible. 9 times out of 10, it's the second couple that will still be together in 20 years.
In order to avoid misunderstandings, let me elaborate a bit for the PC folks: this world is not divided by nations anymore, but by two classes: an affluent Westernised international-oriented mobile group of people (15% of the world's population, virtually all Quora authors) and the rest that basically still lives very locally and rather traditionally. The first group of people have more in common with each other than with most of their compatriots. People who say "I would marry anyone from absolutely any culture, how dare you even ask that??!!" are usually from the former group and imagine their partner from another race to be equally from the former group. Like regular food with a little bit of "curry sauce" added to it, yohoo! I'm sooo open-minded! Yes, if you are a NYC based private banker, you will probably be able to marry a Nairobi based private banker with a Western education and upbringing (the top 1%), but try to marry even the most amazing girl from the bottom 80% of the Kenyan population. I'm not saying it is impossible and yes, there are examples, but they are very rare and it is a huuuuge challenge - one which I might rather not take, if I had many options (and I do). Although I absolutely adore black girls.
I've had girlfriends from Europe, Morocco, Black Africa, Middle East, Iran, Caucasus, South America, China, you name it. I also travelled and lived in each country / region for a while. In my personal experience, there are amazing individuals everywhere in the world, but even with the most amazing people I met and had relationships with, there were sometimes significant cultural differences that in the long run would have or did caused significant issues.
So, to answer the question with one sentence: race is not an issue for me, but culture is.
I would and do. In fact, I greatly prefer interracial dating because I find that the men in my race tend to want to be babied like Im their second mom rather than have a partner to support them. Essentially they seem more immature to me, so I cant do anything romantic with them, (and my innumerable bad experiences with men within my race). I could tell you all about the bad treatment I get, and the stares they give when they walk by with a woman who is clearly 10 shades lighter and a different race than me, but it would be pointless and off-topic.
I find mixed people tend to be more attractive anyhow, with Black/Hispanic (or Latino) being my favorite combination so far. "Pure blood" people kinda look boring and bland to me for some reason. Almost like the family is just clones. I may, however, carry this opinion because I am a mix of at least 3 races and each from a different continent, (with the exception of 1 from 2 continents). Due to certain heritage, my grandparents and great grands absolutely ABHOR white people. My mom never cared and said its fine as long as he (my significant other) treats me right. I always got bullied for liking white guys growing up by everyone (strangers and family alike) but I didnt, and still dont, care. I remember my grandpa would always say "she likes her coffee the way she likes her men" because Id dump cream and sugar into it, but I actually dont like coffee and i was drowning out the taste, (couldnt say I didnt like coffee either because he hates homosexuality. Not that he let me drink it anyways... he said it stunts your growth but I knew a girl that was 6'3″ and a coffee guzzler lol).
Not to mention the cultural differences. You learn how the world looks to other people from different background and it can really teach you awareness. Its just more intellectually stimulating when someone shows me their views of the world, and it's not the same thing ive heard from generations of relatives or something I experienced myself. I like the opportunity to teach people how the world works, too. I can tellmy bf that eveeyone stares at us while we're out, he'll say he never sees it, but I can point it out at least 3 times in 5min during 1 outing (he must be as blind as a bat aince it was broad daylight...) and he apparently wont remember any of it.
Theres a bigger benefit to being with someone who sees things differently than you. Im also more able to appreciate the beauty in those who look more differently than I do, (natural deep red hair and freckles drive me nuts lol). Ive also always been the odd one out, so I just like things that are... Different lol.
TL;DR - I date interracially almost exclusively simply because im not romantically interested in men of my PERCEIVED race (Im mixed but people think im not).
Idk if it counts as interracial if Im dating one of the races Im mixed with, but eh. I dont mind. It is what it is. :)