17 years ago, my parents divorced & remarried. 2 weeks ago my dad died. My mother was the sole beneficiary on the life insurance policy. She kept all of the money for her retirement, even though she makes $200K/year. Would you do this to your kids?

Something this question does not address that makes me wonder....after the divorce, which parent primarily raised you and your sibling(s)? If your mother raised you or even primarily raised you, did your father contribute much to the cost of your care? Do you know who assumed the better part of the financial burden of raising you?When my father

Am I being abused by my mother?

First of all: We don't have enough information to advise you properly. Try to find someone you can talk to about this in more detail - a counselor or a relative. Would you confidently diagnose someone's description of stomach pain over the Internet? This is just

As a child of divorce, has anyone else had their mother pay their father child support?

I laughed every time I had to write a check for child support to my ex-husband. It's all numbers and overnights. The 162 was nothing in comparison to paying the mortgage while I was out of the house, because he refused. I needed

Can a 14year old shower with his mother?

When you get a sunburn if you apply vinegar all over your body and shower it off with hot water as quickly as possible, it won't hurt and peel. But it must be done quickly. We only have one shower and waiting for someone to use it first doesn't work.

Can a husband get a deceased wife's mother's property?

Yes because he is consider Heir to her estate through the deceased wife if she was listed in her mother's will if there was no will he still has a claim threw the wife.. as legal heir and he was still married at the time of her death.However if the wife's mother

Can a mother in law destroy a good marriage?

It's not about good marriage she is capable of killing every marriage. It can love or arranged no one can stop. Mother in law will always teaches her daughter how to take control of his husband , how to create fights between his

Can I divorce my parents?

I'll break it down to you."My parents suck." - Someone in nepal has no roof over their head. You have some access to internet to bad mouth two people that provide that for you. Please appreciate."Typical Indian Parents" - My parents are indian. I have curfews

Children of single mothers have double the drop-out rate as children with both parents. They have lower GPAs, poorer attendance records, higher rates of divorce. Do single mothers know this?

I think the socially, emotionally, and intellectually intelligent single mothers are very aware of this. I was a divorced/single mom for eight years. My focus was on my children, their education, and adjustment. My kids are now 28 and 31. My

Did you get to choose which parent you lived with after your parents divorce?

No.I lived with my mom because of the following reasons:My mom had already completed her first degree and had a stable job and income whereas my dad would move to another town after the separation and would need to find employment to pay his way through college (he attended a private university, that's why). Hence, it made

Do parents really love all their kids equally?

A better question would be do parents like each of their children equally, and for many of us the answer is no. Children have different personalities and interests as do their parents. Some combinations mesh better than others. So a parent may feel more comfortable with one child and have more interests in

Do parents treat boys and girls equally?

Well my parents tried to for a very long time. Until the so called society decided to put it's foot in between. To be very frank, my childhood was pretty great. I was allowed to do what I want, play tennis in whatever clothes I wanted

Do people become more happy or less happy after marriage?

I can tell about my situation.I have been married for more than 5 years now and I feel that my life before marriage was much happier and exciting.Before marriage :Never had sex. Never had a girl friend. Believed that, after marriage, I will

Do people feel obligated to have children to feel normal?

Depends on you.If you are susceptible to pressure from your peers / family/ society , then maybe yes.If you have your own mind and don't care what people think , then probably no.I was pressured by my mom and family friends and was convinced

Do you consider your mother-in-law as your mother?

No.I would give man's perspective (can't be generalized though). It's my true story. I am married for almost 16 years. At the time of marriage my economic status was quite low compared to my inlaws, but since I had graduated from one of top

Do you regret having children at the ages you did? Why?

Thanks for the A2A Koketso!The answer to your question is both yes and no!Yes there are times when I look around and see girls my age, moving up in their profession. When I have to excuse myself out of every after-work invite. When I have

Does staying in a joint family increase the chances of divorce?

You have this question coz divorces are highlighted quite frequently and less people focus on the positive stories involving inlaws and the newly wed bride.Let's take both the cases one by oneYou believe that your would be inlaws are crooked and will spoil you life from the very beginning. They will spoil it in any case if they are

Family Law: What should every woman know before separation, divorce, or saving her marriage?

First of all. Assume the worst. NO ONE will really help you but yourself. And possibly your closest family or friends, if you haven't been cut off from them. If you have been, reconnect now. All those abuse hotlines will listen to you, then tell you "good

Family Relationships and Dynamics: How do I deal with my in laws?

You need to make this your boyfriend's problem, but you also need to find a way to allow yourself to be emotional in front of your mother-in-law to be. If they both see that you are upset or crying and still don't change- leave. If you bottle everything up then you will

Family: Why is there always tension between mother in law and daughter in law relationship?

Women are exceedingly territorial - more so even than men. We lay

Have your parents ever asked you for a large amount of money (as in a loan)?

Yes, and even though I don't have many people who know me on Quora, nor does my mother have an account, I prefer to answer this anonymously out of respect for her.My mother was always a workaholic. She graduated high

Have your parents ever kept a secret from the rest of the family?

Yes, my parents kept a secret from my sisters and me.My mother's father died in 1956, when my parents were engaged. We were told that he had a heart attack. It was a credible explanation that I never questioned.When I was 22 yo. my sister got a little tipsy on Christmas Day, 1989. We stayed up

Have your parents kept a huge secret from you and finally told you when you were an adult?

My parents kept an enormous secret: I found out when I was twelve. So, not an adult, but I will answer this anyway.My great granddaddy was in the most awful place. We are southern, and he was old: 96! and my mama and daddy didn't

How a mother in law can be a good mother for the daughter in law?

A mother in law can treat her dil(daughter in law) as alike her mom.It requires some time, maybe some days or months. Who knows? If she is getting along with her dil very well from the beginning of marriage of her son.A

How abnormal is my family relationship?

What you described in your post is dysfunctional family behavior, so I'm sorry to hear about how you were treated and want you to know that your father's behavior was highly inappropriate.However, I must share that it makes so sense that you're asking what you did to offend him when he directly addressed

How can a 13-year-old son please his mother?

If a thirteen year-old wants to please his mother, he must remember certain things about adults.1. Although calendar time is, for practical purposes, the same for everyone, time seems to go much more quickly for adults than it does for teens. So be patient when your parents treat you like a younger child.

How to convince my father to divorce my mother

You got stuck in a cumbersome situation. It is really difficult to solve the quarrel of parents. You should understand that they are older than you. So any kind of comment from you about their life will not be accepted by them. Perhaps the best solution is making one of

How to convince my husband that I don't want to become a mother

The first thing that you need to ask yourself is is this really about your career?Lots of people want to have children, lots of people don't want to have children. The main difference between them is that society approves of the people who want children, and often does not approve of the people who don't.So

How to convince my wife having a second child is a good idea

In your question you ask how you can convince your wife to have a second child. This tells me that you have suggested it and she has said no.Offer to carry the fetus and give birth and then provide all the money

How to get along with difficult family members

I would like to say there is a simple answer to this, but there isn't. It all depends on what is going on - and why.The best advice I can ever give you, is to continually look into your heart and

How to impress my husband's mother

Why would you want to? People will either like you or dislike you by their perception of the content of your personality. If they have already formed a negative perception of you, any good deeds or words will almost always be received with suspicion.Just to add to this bit of negative info, there's more. If you think

How to parent my own parents

Well, just show him the brighter side of life.Tell him that you always wanted to spend your free time with him. But you never got a chance since he was busy at work. It shows that you still want their love.Having said that, start playing indoor games

How to prevent my parents from getting divorced

Here some ways given to avoid divorce and to know more visit this article.I am an adult and my parents are getting divorcedThey are 20, 30, 40 years old and face the divorce of their parents.But even if one

How to stay away from my husbands family but not push him away from them

Tricky one as they are also your family. Be polite around them and when you are focus on the good points about them. No matter how badly behaved someone is there is always at least one good quality about them. If you continue to think about how much

How to tell my adoptive parents that I want to meet my birth mother without hurting their feelings

I would hope that your adoptive parents had believed this time might come. Your desire would seem both natural and healthy.Do it with love and with sincerity. They may well be uncertain or fearful. Take their fear away with respect and

How to tell my wife I want a divorce

I don't think you want a divorce. Things sound pretty good overall (in fact, better than many marriages), and if you work through this, you'll be fine. However, that doesn't stop the feeling of being overwhelmed by frustration at this behaviour of hers that causes

How can my wife and I balance our time together when we have our own apartment but have families to take care of who need us almost every day?

You didn't mention what part of the world you are in. I suspect it may not be North America.You and your wife will each need to talk to your families. You need to let them know that you care about them, and want to help them, but that you can not be with them every day.Even in cultures where

How can one avoid gaining weight when visiting their family in Punjab?

by actually going around the punjab orenjoy reviewing the punjab in hot weatherwalking along the roads,cities,public spaces ,gatherings or even the farmsif minding to visit the native then would actually spews out few tonns of sweat thereby helping one to shedd some kilos that they might gained or feel

How can one deal with toxic family members?

There are two ways you can deal with them. Its an example from how my family is.1- You can either completely cut them out of your life.2- Keep talking to them, and supporting them. They need more help then the average person. They are not well. They suffer and hurt

How can women manage work with family?

It gets really difficult for the women to strike balance between work and family after marriage.Women should prioritize their personal and professional goals and same should be communicated to the family members. And yes, the most important thing is your husband's support. So, discuss with him each and

How to get away from abusive parents

Go to the counselor in your school and ask this question. If you do not have a counselor at your school then go to your teacher or any administrator and let them know you are being abused at home and seek their advice. Generally they will contact the

How come some parents won't let their daughter have a relationship?

Parents believe that this sort of control will help their children grow up to be healthy and well adjusted. The problem is, being controlling doesn't always work. Girls who aren't allowed to have a relationship will resort to casual sex.Also the controlling of the parenting leads those kids to seek out controlling and often abusive relationships.

How come you can be a great dad but a bad husband?

You can't cheat on your kids.You can't steal from your kids.You can't talk behind your kids back.You will most likely be selfless before your kids.You can't divorce your kids.You will most likely be selfish before your wife.It does not require enormous emotional input to love and care

How did your child's mother react to a custody order that was ruled in favor of the father?

A little background history:I am an American and living in Germany for more than 30 years. My wife is a German citizen, but originally from the Ukraine. She has lived here in Germany for almost 18 years.5 years ago my wife decided that she did not want to be married

How to cope living with my mother

It sounds like you two have bad communication,  which is not rare at all.  Thinking ahead to when you will be moving out in a few years instead of focusing on living with her you might focus on making it fun or enjoyable as it is only

How to deal with a bossy and rude mother in law and with my mommy's boy husband

I think one way to begin is to identify what MIL is doing and saying. Call her right out on it, calmly, but firmly -

How to deal with a bossy mother-in-law and 3 sisters-in-law who are married, but still interfere a lot on daily matters

Thanks for A2A.It is just like any other political struggle to control the power, power to control over family or the husband,who is incidentally a Son and brother too.Who wins ? Someone with sharp acumen, patience and skills to strike at right time and at appropriate

How to deal with a bossy mother in law

A2A.This is a challenge presented to you that if you make it through, will be significantly valuable to your self confidence and self authority.She is overstepping her boundaries big time...duh....: (This is unacceptable. First consider this to lay out the playing field. She is making the

How to deal with a husband who disrespects my family

Me and my mother had faced similar experiences. So I would like to share my opinion. I will not advice you to 'talk' to him, because its common sense that you have tried all the methods (and apparently failed) before you decided to post a personal issue on this platform. Besides i believe that your husband

How to deal with a terrible father

I know exactly what you are going through but believe me you have plenty of options . its your life and you should have it your way.most people donot really want freedom because freedom involves responsibility and people shy away from responsibility. you should think of moving out of your house. you must be aroun 23

How to deal with a very stingy father

You should be thankful at least you have your father with you.UNICEF and global partners define an orphan as a child who has lost one or both parents. By this definition there were over 132 million orphans in sub-Saharan Africa, Asia, Latin America and the Caribbean in 2005. This large figure represents not only children

How to deal with an insecure mother-in-law

Why is your mother in  law feeling insecure? Mostly mother in law feel insecure when another person comes into her child's life. She is terrified she might lose her dominance.Mother in law - Why is she the most feared?Make her understand that you would never intrude into her

How to deal with an irresponsible father

You don't deal with him.You step up and take all the responsibilities.Take this as a golden opportunity.Someday you will be in his place and you have to take up the responsibilities which you are talking about.Suppose your team lead is irresponsible and your manager wants a new new lead from your team,

How to deal with an overbearing widowed mother

If ever there were a reason to talk to a social worker or family therapist, this is it. Your mother needs to be in social situations with people who can become friends. You may need to make her cooperation a condition of giving her further help. No one is as effective

How to deal with my demanding elderly mother who insists on staying in her home but can no longer take care of things

My brother and I told our mom that we would help her to stay in her own home until it started causing problems in our lives.This may sound selfish on our part to some people. We both lived several hours from

How to deal with neglectful father

I'm sorry you have a terrible father who abused you physically and continues abusing you emotionally (even though the physical abuse was apparently in the past). I don't know your age but it is not too late to go to authorities and confess the secret you have been keeping. You may not want to

How to deal with parents asking for money upon news of my windfall

Figure out what you think is the real tab that you owe your parents. Disregard things they spent to raise and educate you, since those are things every parent should do for their children.If you can afford it, give them the figure you came up with.

How to find out if my husband is too abusive

raise a handI'm going to take the unpopular opinion. I have been in, and chose to remain in, a relationship I knew was abusive. In this case, verbally and to an extent emotionally abusive. I stayed at first because I didn't recognize

How to get my 14 year old daughter away from her dad

Why would you want too? Is he abusing her? Does he do something to harm her? Or are you just a jealous mom who wants the type of relationship with her daughter that her daughter has with her dad????? IF he's basically a good dad don't fuck that up

How to get over bad memories and bad relationships

First things first, we Quorans would like to assure you that a lot of people go through this kind of thing; so you're never alone in any of this. Also you have this big, wonderful community to help you be a better person. That's some

How to get to the point of really 'starting over' after a divorce, with two children and not being able get past missing my family. (Starting new relationships are not a problem, staying interested in them is)

this is a very difficult thing...probably the worst thing you will ever go throughgetting over the ex is easy enough...just have sexwith a few new girls and eventually you will find one you actually like to spend time withgetting over the "family" unit and NOT waking up to your kids everyday is much

How to handle my brother who keeps asking me money

You just say no, hang up the phone. He is a grown person, and you are not his parent. It doesnt matter if you are a billionaire, he is owed none of the money you have worked hard for, it is for YOU and your family. So if he doesnt want to work as hard as

How to help my sister, her husband left her for her best friend

So her friend settled for playing 2nd fiddle?It's irrelevant who he left her for, and I do not blame the friend for accepting him into her life, this happens sometimes, you can't blame or accuse either of them if that's where their hearts were, good luck

How to politely tell my mother in law she is overwhelming me with her gifts for a house we are still moving into

First question I have is how long have you and your spouse been married?While my answer is predicated upon a long marriage, I think, with some tweaks, it will work for short marriages also.First, invite your MIL to a small cafe/restaurant.Just the two of you (This is VERY

How to resolve conflict between my wife and parents

First be fair to both of them, Both your parents and your wife need you as son and husband respectively. Though many may not agree but, we are sensible humans, so 2 things a to be considered1. Parents today and are in need you as much as you needed them when you were young (In terms

How to stop my daughter from abusing me mentally

Not a lot to go on - Emotional abuse is: "any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, any treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.Tell her that if she wants a relationship with you then things are going to have to change because you are no

How to survive an abusive father

shit.. i had it bad, but not this bad.This is a hotline for parental abuse in the USA and canada, if you are neither in the USA nor Canada, find a local hotline. They will advise you better than me.Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline1-800-422-4453What you must prepare for is to leave the

How to tell my husband I hate his mother and she hates me

My MIL birthday just happens to be on Christmas day. So for the past 6 years I make a dinner for a king and my children. My husband forces everyone to wake up at 5am so he can open presents and leave. He

How to tell my husband that I'm pregnant with his brother's baby

You need to tell your husband as soon as possible because the longer you wait, the more trouble you will make. You need to just straight up tell him face to face that you cheated on him with his brother. He deserves and you will give him all of the details of your

How to tell my mother in law to stay away from my baby

I'm guessing your baby is very young. Being protective and possessive of your newborn is normal as you get to know him or her and develop confidence in yourself as a mother.While you may feel that your baby belongs to you, your child

How to tell parents that I got married against their wish

Congradualations. Maybe a letteR explaining all your reasons. And the wonderful things you see in your mate. Also be sure to tell them that they did a great job raising you, you have a good head on your shoulders for

How to to cope with an evil mother-in-law

I'm sorry to tell you this but you don't have many options at all. Actually unless your partner is on board with you on this and stands up to her you have no options.Me and my husband moved 3 states away but her influence didn't weaken. She meddled in our marriage. Bitched constantly and

How do married couples handle finances together?

Keep in mind that everyone's situation is unique. I'll share what we've doing in our early accumulation years.BackgroundWe were together all thru our 20s, married at 26, and we're both currently 30. I stopped school after my bachelors and she worked full time while getting her masters. Turning 30 was significant for us because we

How do mothers-in-law destroy marriages?

The role of mothers-in-law in marriages, constructive or otherwise, has significant cultural underpinnings.I will answer from the Indian cultural context and include both mothers-in-law (husband's mother and wife's mother), as is the right things to do, in my assessment.Husband's mother:Competing

How to cope with an overbearing mother-in-law

How I deal with an over bearing MIL. Hmm..My MIL is very passive aggressive, if you don't do things as she would, you're doing them wrong. My husband and I are both in our 50's, our children are grown with families of their own so she doesn't tell us

How to cope with taunts of mother in law when she comes to stay for some time

There are only 2 ways to do so:Never talk back - Be the "Bade-Ghar-Ki-Beti" never voice out your opinion or the facts that you want to talk back.  Just brush off and give her the disdainful look you reserve for bad guys. It would be fine if you can find something funny to laugh later

How to cope with terrible in-laws

Coping with toxic in laws not only shatters your mental peace, and married life but also professional and social as well.Terrible in laws never respect the boundaries that every relationship should have.they are intrusive, you will have no personal space they will get into everything and if you try to ignore

How to deal with a narcissistic mother-in-law

My MIL has many of of the signs of being a covert narcissist, how I deal with her is that I basically stay aloof to her. Gray rock method. Don't react to the things she says or does, likely she is looking for a reaction from you (or anyone really) to ‘confirm' the things she dislikes, her

How to deal with a passive-aggressive, manipulative mother

One of the most difficult things to deal with in life, is when a close family member (especially a parent) is destructive to you.Another particularly difficult thing, is when someone simply doesn't acknowledge their own role and accountability in a

How to deal with emotionally abusive family members

i cant seem to add to this, then others brainwashed me too into thinking my fmaily were good people and there to help me. For years ive been dancing this dance. They want to be 'above' me and have everything

How to even begin to forgive a family that disowned & shunned you years ago

I got sage advice from a counselor: forgive slowly.Whether you stepped in or not during the health crisis, whether walked right away again, after, matters not to *you*.In their minds, you may ‘owe' them - there's no unconditional love, there's some weird form of bookkeeping, some weird

How to know if you want to have kids

Assuming you're female, it's your decision to have children.You're the one that will physically bear the children and give birth to them.My wife and I went through a similar process.We had lived together for almost seven years, were around 38 years old,

How does a husband deal with his sociopathic wife?

If she's diagnosed as a sociopath then consider if you want to

How does a husband who loves kids cope with a wife who does not want to have any kids?

I always knew I wanted to have children. It never even crossed my mind that I may not have them, it was just a given. I was almost 27 when I met the man who would become my husband and while I knew the night we met that

How does ancestor worship work in Hong Kong?

Respect for parents and elders, and hence ancestors, is important in Chinese culture. When a person dies, it's believed that their spirit lingers, which can affect or influence the fortunes and affairs of the living.  The rituals are a way for the

How does it feel to be raised by sexist parents who favour their sons over their daughters? How do sexist parents treat their daughters around the world?

This is not my story but my mother's. She was born in 1966 in the South of France, to a family from the

How does it feel when your mother calls you 'useless'?

As you could imagine.It feels like a stab to the heart.To have the word useless yelled directly at your face feels like a kid excited to use the electric pencil sharpener, they jab it in the pencil gets torn to pieces and becomes even sharper.My mothers called me that and a bitch plenty of times. And

How does it feel when your parents get divorced?

I was about 14 years of age (give or take... I've never been good at remember that sort of stuff) when my parents divorced. The divorce itself had no impact on me.The separation twelve months prior was a relief to me. When the family meeting was called

How does one deal with a controlling father?

A controlling father is not necessarily an abusive father, but an abusive father is also usually a controlling father.  A helicopter father may be overprotecting his child, but he may doing so out of a misguided concern for the child's safety.An abusive father has little concern for the

How has a mother-in-law offended you?

It's been 6 months now that I got married. It's an arranged marriage. I am 25 and husband is 28. I work in IT company and my husband is working in Public sector. My husband is very understanding and takes care of me.In our courtship period she created a big issue between me

How many children do you think you want to have?

We didn't want kids at first. I was too immature and self-centered to give up big pieces of my life to children. But my wife began to want children more and more.When our first child was born, at his first checkback doctor appointment, when my wife was still sore and bleeding

How Many Kids Are Too Many Kids To Have For 2 Parents?

We have had neighbors who have had One child, and typically those families were totally dysfunctional. A lot have two children and they all seem fine. Several have three children and they all work well together.One neighbor has Twelve children (about an 18 year span) and they work together like a well-oiled machine. I coached one

How much does your mother and father's divorce impact you many years later in life?

My parents divorced when I was around 3 years old, my sister was ten.Disclaimer: I am fortunate enough to have two respectful parents with regards to who has the right to parenting, my dad has always been forthcoming with financial aid, he paid more alimony than necessary when he experienced affluent periods and helped her

How should I deal with a conniving mother in law?

This is so common in Indian Marriages. It is common with all the mother-in-laws. Mostly even if you become mother-in-law for few years you will also behave in the similar way. So the Solution is to keep you away from all the mental

How should I deal with my ignorant father?

Do you have to engage?Do you absolutely have to set him straight?It always takes two to tango.Take yourself out of this equation (don't be available when he wants to enlighten you) and suddenly you have all this time to be productive, be with your own thoughts (meditate?), be with

How should I handle my verbally abusive mother?

There are many ways people can be nasty, harsh, mean, and so forth to others. In the case here, it is wonderful (well, at least all well and good) that you appreciate the pressures, stresses, worries, and other demands on your mother that are apparently shifting how she interacts with you. I do not

How would you motivate a family member to eat healthy?

prepare the meal yourself ask the verdict about the meal;if they like it continue and then explain the benefit of it..At first if someone starts explainig the minute one utters healthy food people imagine boiled veggies ,soup and salad but also ensure you adopting better tasting healthy food options ..the idea behind healthy food is actually any

How would you react if you found out that your father has another child, younger than you, with another woman in another country?

Happened to me, although, not another country - another State in a very big country. My mother and father had separated; she went back to her home state with four children under 5, he stayed in his home State. They had filed for divorce and he died in an industrial accidentabout 6 months later. I was the oldest