Updated 04/29/19First, let me say this; I sincerely recommend to anyone who's been involved sexually with someone they even suspect could have either NPD or AsPD get checked for any and all STD's and do it now, not later.Don't wait until a few weeks or
Yes. A narcissist can not only fake a marriage, but by definition a narcissist can ONLY fake a marriage. A narcissist is not capable of a marriage by the romantic definition, so if you are asking if a narcissist WILL fake a marriage the answer
In my experience:They love like a 5 year old child loves - at a very surface/infatuation level, not true love - and (to steal HG Tudor's description of the midrange Ns), just like a petulant child (because that is really what they are inside at their core) who has been denied
Mine did. If a covert is truly capable of some kind of love I believe she felt it at times, but it came in cycles. Typically it went in the classic love bomb/abuse/discard cycle, except instead of completly discarding me she'd have a failure to launch and change her mind. Or
I HAVE to answer this with a very strong NO. No, they cannot because they cannot build a true loving bond with any partner they choose for extended, long-term relationships and this is because they cannot admit to anything they may be contributing negatively to the relationship. An NPD person will not admit they are at fault
It's very common for Narcissistic Mothers to have a Golden Child and Scapegoat dynamic going on in their family.What this means is this: one child in the family is the Golden Child, and one or more is the Scapegoat.....
From my personal experience, YES, narcissists are quick to label other people as narcissists.I think dealing with a narcissist is a confusing experience. When a narcissist accuses you of being self-centred and selfish, they genuinely mean it. Any second that
No. Never fully.You need to very harshly and utterly sever ties with them just to make them let go of your life. Even then they won't really let go.Before they stop contact, they will pull out all the stops trying to get their claws back in. The guilt trips, the threats, the nasty emails, the excuses to make
well, its like this.. Narcissists switch their fake emotions, empathy, love, care, respect, friendship, off and on in like a light switch. BUT in reality they are perpetually in that 'off' position because they are nothing but an empty shell devoid of life!I could write out all
I just happened to see this question in a list of them and I was just thinking about this today, so I decided to chime in. I've experienced jealously from a narc. BUT, it's not like you think. My son's father is definitely a covert narcissist. Before I knew
Absolutely, yes. They may not admit how severe their depression is and try to escape their abyss in unhealthy ways which may involve you. Urge them to get professional help. Group therapy may help as well. You don't have to like someone or even understand them to steer
Thanks for the A2A.Narcissists are extremely jealous of the good qualities that others possess. Smart people are no exception. In the case of smart people, narcissists will envy their intelligence and will hate them for it.As for getting discarded, smart people will get the same treatment as not-so-smart people from the Narcissist. With the
I had to edit this answer because I didn't realize how brilliant your question is. Let me start by saying your question is awesome. I don't need to change much else.As I have said many times on Quora NPDs never truly discard.
Many of them try. Some succeed some don't. Their success is up to you. If you maintain no contact it makes it harder for them. Even if you have shared custody no contact can be somewhat accomplished by asking a trusted third party to handle any face to face contact such
First open your own bank account - set up some money so you'll have something to live off of. This has to be kept private.Find a new place to live. An apartment might be good for the first period after leaving. Less stress and responsibility.When you know he's going to be away, have someone come in and
WHAT!!! Who in hell wants a narcissist to not divorce them? It will serve you no purpose remaining in a marriage to a narcissist just like the narcissist doesn't serve a purpose in your life other than to teach you a lesson to love yourself first and to never
How come I am considered the 'villain' in divorcing my narcissistic husband? My children blame me for leaving!
Not an answer you may like.Unless your children are young, they have unique abilities to be with who they want. They want to feel safe, and cared about, and loved.However they also like a/the parent that lets them push boundaries and have more freedom. This is both good and bad depending on the situation.And yes, it can easily be
I have been getting divorced from my Narc Ex for 6 plus years.My advice....or what small bit of information I can try to help you with is the following:Plan your escape route very carefullyHire a high conflict attorneySave as much money as possible and get a separate bank account quickly(without their knowledge)Do not communicate your intention until it
The easiest and most painless way is to fail to supply her any more, for her to become bored and to discard you and move on to someone who provides her with what she needs. You must also become a grey rock, emotionless and never reacting to
A healthy person has healthy give and take regulation.Narcissists do not. Their give and take is all messed up and all over the place. And messes you up emotionally.Some act like black holes. Their entitlement giving them all sorts of demanding and insensitive expectations of you right
Here is the official answer, then I'll give you what I have experienced:According to the DSM to be considered a narcissist you must meet 5 or more of the following criteria:(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)(2) is preoccupied with
You don't.Don't give him any warning at all because he'll make your life hell if you do. He will use every trick in his arsenal to keep you there. They will use this time (if you stay) to plan their leaving you, hopefully homeless, penniless
Love and NarcissismWhen they are being honest about the
Recovering from what, the flu? Usually the fever has gone down, they aren't vomiting, they are able to keep some food and liquids down, and they are ambulatory again, a little bit at a time.Recovering from bronchitis? The coughing stops, the pain in the throat and chest is gone,
I'm going to say they feel pissed!!Not because they realise how much they love you, not because they realise they did you wrong and want to make amends, and not because they feel they owe you.They are pissed at the injustice of you not letting them insult you to feel powerful themselves,Pissed
Like they are irrelevant. When my mother divorced our NPD father, he used us as a tool to punish our mother. He financially starved us when he could have provided for us. When that didn't work, he tried being syrupy sweet to us. When that
Poorly, but it did end. She was stolen by my arch rival, because he thought that I would marry the divine feminine. I married a woman who loved me completely, but I only began to love her once she was already gone from my life and blocking me. I was using her as
There are people on here who are experts at dealing with narcissism and why we are drawn to narcissists, etc. Hopefully a few of them will pitch in here. If they don't, search for them.I am setting that aside, because that's a part of your healing
If a covert narcissist is so good at lying and pretending to be a good person, how do professionals realize the person is a narcissist?
The first sign would be an obvious tendency to idealize or devalue others or oneself during the conversation with the therapist. It's a first hint, that there is a self-eestem regulation going on. Usually the patient isn't aware, that he idealizes or devalues during a normal conversation. I for sure, wasn't aware
Is it better for the kids that I stay married to their narcissistic father if the kids are not a target of his rage and they rarely see when he rages at me?
Having had an abusive NPD parent, I wish my father had had the knowledge and guts to just go and take us with him.It isn't just about rages and how he treats you, though in later years your children may come to identify with
My experience is that yes jealousy is a common component. They obsess to protect their narcissistic supply, which means controlling your attention. They want all of your focus on them not other people or other activities.This destruction can ensue after you
No he is not hurting him he is destroying him.Your son is the apple of your eye.The Narc will rein him.He your Son will most likey be a refreshing narc.He will cutt your heart open and eat it.And mama you will bear the burden.You will feel like dying of a broken heart and wonder how can
The Bermuda Triangle.The Five Categories of Emotional Intelligence.EmpathySelf-awareness.Self-regulation.Motivation.Social skills.Empathy:Is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, some narcissists have selective empathy, They have no interest in understanding their impact on you, except so far you feed their ego, but since they
Should I file for divorce or wait and let him do it? My narcissistic husband walked out on us (we have kids) 2 years ago but still supports us financially. I want a divorce.
You should file for divorce. He has proven that he is supporting you for two years . That agreement would stand up in a court . There is a possibility that he dose not want to divorce you as he
Let me qualify myself as a lait person on the subject of Narcissism. I do not have any medical or psychological training. I do have three generations of narcissists in my family, and have seen this mental illness' life-long effects on the inflicted and the people in N's lives. This is my list, borrowed from other sites about
I have been married to 3 different people that I believe all had NPD or a similar disorder. Each marriage was a very very different experience with a very very different person. So I've given this some thought. What did they all have
This is not a cut & dried answer! There are many types of Narcissist and some people are not narcissists but have a few traits.All the answers I've seen on this subject so far have descriptions be the narcissist as
Be prepared for bloody court battles on everything - custody, property, joint assets etc. In my experience and from talking to two ex victims - custody will probably be fought for - whether it is in the interest (or wishes) of the children or not. There is a saying - where
Hold on to your hat... it's going to get ugly.I did not know about NPD while going through all of this, but do remember the rage and nasty attitude when I filed for divorce. (I filed because he moved another woman into OUR
The same as any narcissist. I had a narcissist mother but you don't chose your mom and still she was my mom so regardless of the abuse I loved her and still mourn her. However a narcissist husband you can hopefully get away from. The damage of the narcissist constant need to be in control
Narcissist can be women. I see most replies to these posts being a woman speaking of a relationship with a narcissistic man, but let me tell you that a narcissist can be a woman, and they probably hide it better because most people aren't looking for them to be the narcissist!I didn't recognize my friend
I am going to share my whole story. It's long but I already published it on my personal social media and I know for a fact that it made a lot of people learn from it - so if you want a real-life well detailed explanation, please read. THIS ARTICLE IS QUITE COMPLETE OF
He/she will attempt anything and EVERYTHING to
When does a narcissist not hoover past lovers?Emotional perspective:At face value, I wouldn't
Narcissists try to leave nothing to chance, they plan ahead, look carefully for their
It really depends:The are bored of you, you have been already replaced with someone new, so they have switched their entire energy to this person because this person is new and exciting, so you have been Devalued and they have already moved forward.You keep't constantly pushing
Why doesn't my narcissistic boss like me?Thank you for the question. I don't know enough about your specific situation to give you a definitive answer, but I can share my experience with a narcissistic boss and offer some insight, which may be relevant
Why doesn't anything scare a narcissist? I have had him arrested for domestic abuse with a no-contact order and he is back and threatening me now. Nothing I say or do will get rid of him.
The person that you are describing is suffering from psychosis which means that his ability to perceive reality is terribly impaired. No matter what, he is obsessed with having whatever he thinks it is that you are. (I know of a person who has
Because independent people are harder to control and manipulate.Imagine someone confident who does not care about what people think of him, feeling all good on his own skin, living his own life getting less affected by peoples ideas and thoughts and feeling good with his own company dictating his own happiness.The person i'm talking about is really hard to
They don't want their supply cut off. PERIOD. Even though the narcissist may wind up financially well off after a divorce, a divorce means an end to their image and their "endless" supply whether that supply is simply financial, and/or feelings of adoration, worthiness, validity, and
Yes narcissism and infedily are twins. A person with a narcissistic personality does not have empathy. If there is someone they like and they have the opportunity to deceive, they will do it without thinking twice.A narcissist is selfish,they are entitled,they are very self-focused,they only care about themselves.They are demanding to what they
ABSOLUTELY. Their insatiable need for supply and to flatter their egos and assuage the feelings of insecurity and shame drive them easily into infidelity. They will be ‘fishing ‘ constantly on social media and dating sites too, always looking for ‘better ‘ and ‘more ‘ and ‘just in
In less words, but more meaning?The Narcissist, the true one:Manipulates you,telling you that you owe them, that something never happened, and that you're crazy.Steal from you.Lie in public sometimes, and have outbursts and childish tantrums others.In private, they're assholes with no sense of guilt when they attack you in
I have been dealing with person with NPD for 10 years . I helped him to get a job . To be social . but he still has goal in his head . I came to conclusion it is impossible to change his illusional goal . But he agreed when he was drunk that he can't do anything with
It's about time to thank the narcissists.......Finally, guys you did something great to this world..... Clap, clap, clap......Songs and music.I'd think you might agree that the best songs ever (of all times) are inspired by narcissists and narcissistic relationships.Lyrics sound like real trauma bonds LOL. And the writer of the lyrics needs therapy, fuck it...................................................Social media:
You have to choose from 3 candidates to lead your organization, grow revenue, & increase the company's market value. All have the exact same credentials except one is a narcissist, one is an empath, and one is a psychopath. Who do you hire?
Thanks for the A2A.Wow awesome and thought-provoking question!I would choose a super empath who has some narcissistic traits.Reasons:The psychopath won't lead effectively and the revenue and company value may only increase short-term because of all the interpersonal conflicts and toxic culture that is formed.The narcissist
Narcissists have a personality disorder that manifests itself in the need for outside regulation of self-esteem and the inability to admit blame or fault.Can a narcissistic judge remain impartial if there is any question by a petitioner of the fairness of his or her actions in the courtroom?Such a challenge would cause narcissistic injury, and narcissist have innate
How to deal with a narcissist without becoming ill with the frustration and anger at their treatment of you (when leaving is not an option)
Talking to a narcissist-someone who has an inflated (and immovable) sense of self-worth-is like tiptoeing through a minefield. Every word you utter has the potential to detonate the conversation into a full-on argument.Choose to remain in the relationship and emotionally vulnerable to the narcissist,
Is it a characteristic of someone with narcissistic personality disorder to have no filter when asking questions or making comments without being tactful or considerate of the person they are conversing with?
The behaviors and their explanations are all here. Have fun.50 Devious Habits Of Highly Toxic Narcissists (And Why They Do What They Do)Toxicity exists on a spectrum. People who engage in a few of these behaviors in certain
There is lots of people who think that they are smarter then most of the world. But very few are.also, it doesn't mean you are a narcissist.and then there is the fact that most narcissists are really not that smartthey think they are smart, because
Since a narcissist is quite capable of behaving appropriately and kindly to those he wants to impress, or in public, how can it be argued that their abusive and cruel behavior is anything but an intentional choice? Isn't this just an enabling excuse?
I will use a different approach. I know this question is the most difficult of all. I will try to keep it short.Narcissists are quite capable of PLAYING the part as long as you are PLAYING yours. The abusive and cruel behavior IS an intentional choice, but they
There is really no one answer to this question, unfortunately. If you are looking for one
The blind man and the elephant:There is an old Sufi mystical story about a bunch of blind men who were each asked to describe an elephant. To paraphrase the story- each man described the elephant according to the specific part of the animal's body that he was touching. So the man
A narcissist does not want you to know that he or she is living with shame.A narcissist does not want you to know that he or she does not know the meaning of true love. Love to them is just a wish or desire but they cannot maintain it. One of the reasons
What makes someone a Narcissist?There are two ways to interpret this question:What characteristics lead a therapist to diagnose someone as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder?How does someone become a Narcissist?I will briefly answer both of these questions.Part 1: What characteristics would lead me to diagnose NPD?The Narcissistic PatternWhat we call Narcissistic Personality Disorder is actually a
Specific signs I have observed in narcissists:Center of attention--they make a big show of arriving in a limo, wearing their best dress, and catching the bouquet when it's someone else's wedding.Denigration--they don't like that you are doing the same thing they are and belittle your work.Diminishment--they ascribe your accomplishments to luck, connections, sexual favors, or something other than talent
Because independent people are harder to control and manipulate.Imagine someone confident who does not care about what people think of him, feeling all good on his own skin, living his own life getting less affected by peoples ideas and thoughts and feeling good with his own company dictating his own happiness.The person i'm talking
There is a BIG twist to this, the NPD will project all that onto the target. Example is the narc wants to avoid touch and intimacy, they know it wouldn't be seen as acceptable to others (key importance) so they conjure
Oh wow, this is a really hard one. I have to really exert myself to figure this one out.But do not despair as I, the great Christian have the correct answer.A covert narcissist belong to the type of NPD that are called covert narcissism.Oh wow, much wow. Hope this educational post helped your intellect grow.
I guess so, but they're most likely not monogamous. My ex narc was married 11 years, 3 kids with first wife, over 20 years, one kid with second wife. Me? Despite the fact that we were childhood sweethearts who reconnected, I threw him out
they care oblivious to the fact that their son are individual being in their own unique ways. They see people as tools that either frustrate them, or become useful to them.. Narc parents threatened by their growing independence. Narc mother see their children as an extension of themselves. narc mothers don't feel emotion and desire of their child. They
Narcissists are very good at forming casual friendships, and can easily do so with other narcissists. Facebook is a good example of this, where you will see narcissists praising each other in ways which are truly hilarious, such as:
Yes, it would be love. Many narcissists do love others. They perhaps have an agenda going on in the background. It would be a frantic worrying about losing a person they trust or they know loves them deeply. They wonder who they can find to fill that place if the relationship breaks up. However, that is
Narcissists do not conceptualize people the way neurotypicals do. They don't emotionally bond with others as neurotypicals do. Their thinking is self referential. The type of experience the question expresses is more along the lines of how a neurotypical would think.A narcissist would think in terms of how unfair things are for them, of how they're not being
Maybe. Most of them would just get tired of bouncing off each other and move on. They may see through it right away or not. If they are so wrapped up in what they are doing or trying to pull off, it could come off as two
Since, IMHO, there are extremely few
I was married to a narcissist for 32 years, together for 34 years. We have three beautiful children together and one beautiful grandchild. I was discarded for a new supply. Looking back on our marriage there were red flags from day one that I looked over, The love bombing
My sister and her husband are narcissists. They have three children of which one shows strong narcissistic traits. The other two are thankfully normal. They have been married for 21 years. From what I can see it definitely works for them. In a way, they outright deserve each other- as narcissists, only they can take each others bad
As a result of repeated abuse and trauma, a person can develop complex PTSD. Just like event-related PTSD, sufferers of C-PTSD have marked difficulty in learning and memory function.Specific Learning Difficulties People With PTSD Can HaveAttention, Learning, and Memory in Posttraumatic Stress DisorderPost-traumatic stress disorder and declarative memory functioning: a review
Two narcissists can be married and pretend to be happy.My genitors are two narcissists and I can assure everything is about pretending. They hated me for not pretending with them.Besides the moments they would pretend to love each other and that their relationship was perfectly
Hi. Very good question. I'll answer again in a few months because my six month separation from my covert npd wife, as required by my state's law, will be over in two days. I can then file the paperwork for divorce. She has thirty days to return them. Then it will take a few weeks in
Narcissism is not gender-specific. It has no more to do with misogyny than it has to do with misandry.I think we do ourselves a disservice when we conflate the Narcissistic Personalty Disorder diagnosis with the mundane and relatively common traits of being selfish, self-absorbed, or just generally an unpleasant individual.Unfortunately,
Do narcissistic adulterers ever, on any level, understand what they have lost in a faithful, honest and loving ex spouse? Or do they believe their own gaslighting and lies?
This one has been interesting to experience. A couple of thoughts:They seem to miss the"ex" when the current fantasy/illusion is disintegrating or again not living up to their expectations. That's when they
It's the lying and the supplies they have stashed all over the place, that eventually devalues your inner self. They belong to so many people. Tying their soul with each person they bed. Not to mention the many different STD's they bring home with them
Yes. If you get married there's a good chance that they will try to sabotage the relationship. They'll undermine your parenting. You won't be allowed to parent your own kids. They'll ignore any preferences or rules that you attempt to put
Do narcissists attract each other in relationships? If so, how long or likely is the relationship/marriage to last?
Contrary to other answers, they very much do. They are finding someone who actually gets them or even mutual empathy since its been suggested that narcissists and sociopaths can actually empathise with eachother on some level. Their mask can be taken off and the other will only be more attracted to them-instead of wanting to vomit-they idealise this
The answer without question is Yes!Here is a poem I recently wrote about my aging narcisstic dad elsewhere here on Quora:dad knows nothingdad knows jackdad only knows the whip he can crack...his knowledge is so tinybut he thinks he knows
Absolutely and some cant stand them. Just like anyone else. We are not talking about another specie of human. If sometime has this disorder it simply means they are self serving.It means tjey proceds how the world effects them vs their effect on anything. Worth a world that revolves an individual, their world absolutely contains kids
Do narcissists often try to keep a child at home for life? If you have a smart beautiful child getting into their late 20's and they don't want to work or leave and your narc doesn't care what they do, are they causing this?
Let's remove your ideas of
Huge difference. Devaluing stage ...wont give you the time of day. You are treated like an option. You will feel the distance and disconnect. You will feel them running in the opposite direction. You just know something's up, something's going on behind the scenes. However, with a collapsed stage you will find them
Does it make you a Narcissist because you have some of the same traits as them? How do you really know if your a narcissist and if you are can you change?
I believe when everything you do is about
You don't. People with NPD don't realize what they are doing. They have a disorder. The only solution is to walk away. You are probably never going to get along with this person and have a normal relationship with them ever. There is a
my x narcs mom is a full blown narc and how he was treated....well, hes a narc. she never hugged him, never said i love you, never cared for him, never read to him ( i read to him (velveteen rabbit) his first book, besides school) never looked out for him, guided him. never loved him. she was
Narcs get REVENGE by doing anything that they know would really HURT you. WHATEVER it TAKES they will DESTROY and play MIND GAMES to TEACH you a LESSON to send you a MESSAGE DONT PLAY WITH ME I AM THE BOSS AM in CONTROL AND I WILL HAVE THE LAST SAY!He has so much HATE
Mine was alone in his mothers basement. They were no longer speaking from what Ive heard from him and others after...... He was there for
I dont know how. I am still working on it.The first steps that I have takenAccept that you have been abused, manipulated and emotionally tortured. Accept that you have been a victim and make a decision not to be a victimNO CONTACT - don't contact, connect, think or
Many people think of men when it comes to narcissism. And believe me there are plenty of men that do suffer from this personality disorder.But there are also plenty of covert narcissists out there that are women. I'm going to address this question as it pertains to women narcissists, as the previous answers address breaking up with
Please forgive my snarkiness, as it may show in my response, and I also apologize if this sounds curt, because it kinda is, so it may sound as such, primarily because my